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#91 of 114 Old 04-21-2011, 11:32 AM
 
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oh mama that is so hard to read. bawling.gif

 

i hope this gets the ball rolling faster. and your dd will never have to be alone with her dad ever again. 


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#92 of 114 Old 04-21-2011, 11:51 AM
 
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Oh mama, your poor baby!  And poor you!  Much strength and love to both of you right now.  I hope that your dd can be kept safe with this new information.

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#93 of 114 Old 04-24-2011, 09:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am really unsure what the next step is. I mean, I have an idea. I take my daughter to meet with the psychologist doing the psychological exam on May 4...I guess he just wants to talk to her casually about her time with her dad before this happened? I meet with him on May 5 and we wrap things up. I guess I get to say anything I didn't get to before. Do I tell him I am scared?

I am going to try and call my CPS worker tomorrow, but her message on her phone says she is moving to another department, so not sure what will happen with my case? I know the forensic report will be ready this week and I need to get a copy for the psychologist. I am praying it's enough?

I don't think we can get the GAL off my case though :/ I don't think it would make me look good. So I need to look up similar cases that have had visitation cut off. I don't understand how so many Dr.s can say abuse has happened and the GAL just ignores it. My daughter has disconnected from that side of her family though. She told someone she doesn't have a dad and if you ask about her brothers, she says she only has one(her dad has a son from previous marriage and a son on the way and I have a baby too).
I guess a lot rides on the psychological report. I did my best, that's what I tell myself. I was honest and I didn't talk bad about him or paint him in a terrible light. I wasn't over dramatic about the disclosure, however I did tell him I was scared about visits just because we don't know what happened and my daughter was very traumatized.

The psychological report should be done mid May.

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#94 of 114 Old 04-24-2011, 10:20 PM
 
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OMG mama, couldn't read and not post. You are so so strong, and your daughter is blessed to have a mother like you, who is doing all she can to protect her. I can't even imagine what you are going through, but I'm keeping you and your LO in my thoughts. I'm also so glad that the MDC has so much good advice for you - it's lucky to have the resources here. Good luck and hugs.


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#95 of 114 Old 04-25-2011, 09:47 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MDCGuest01 View Post

I am really unsure what the next step is. I mean, I have an idea. I take my daughter to meet with the psychologist doing the psychological exam on May 4...I guess he just wants to talk to her casually about her time with her dad before this happened? I meet with him on May 5 and we wrap things up. I guess I get to say anything I didn't get to before. Do I tell him I am scared?

 

Yes, you can tell him you are scared!  Try to keep your composure, but its perfectly normal to be scared, nervous, anxious.  He's not your therapist, so don't talk the same as you would if you were peaking to your therapist, but its completely acceptable to say something like, "I'm really scared of what will happen if he is given visitation b/c my dd is very traumatized."  I wouldn't focus on it the entire time you're there, but thats a normal feeling - if you said you were NOT scared, that would be abnormal and would raise major red flags with them.

 

I am going to try and call my CPS worker tomorrow, but her message on her phone says she is moving to another department, so not sure what will happen with my case? I know the forensic report will be ready this week and I need to get a copy for the psychologist. I am praying it's enough?

 

Call her and ask what will happen to your case.  If she doesn't answer, get in touch with someone else and ask whats happening to your case.

 

I don't think we can get the GAL off my case though :/ I don't think it would make me look good. So I need to look up similar cases that have had visitation cut off. I don't understand how so many Dr.s can say abuse has happened and the GAL just ignores it. My daughter has disconnected from that side of her family though. She told someone she doesn't have a dad and if you ask about her brothers, she says she only has one(her dad has a son from previous marriage and a son on the way and I have a baby too).

 

Try not to worry hugely about the GAL.  Judges listen to GAL's, but they also listen to experts (and the GAL is not an expert in sexual abuse) - and if ALL the experts go against the GAL, well, the judge will weigh the evidence (hopefully appropriately) and rule accordingly.


I guess a lot rides on the psychological report. I did my best, that's what I tell myself. I was honest and I didn't talk bad about him or paint him in a terrible light. I wasn't over dramatic about the disclosure, however I did tell him I was scared about visits just because we don't know what happened and my daughter was very traumatized.

The psychological report should be done mid May.


It sounds like you did just fine.  I know this whole thing is so terrifying, and we're all hoping its over soon!!!

 

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#96 of 114 Old 04-25-2011, 12:07 PM
 
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Fervently praying for you and dd. Please, please, please come through court system! If the justice system ever works, let it be now! I'm just sick thinking that this kind of evil has touched your sweet innocent dd. Everyone involved feels the same way, the judge will too. Here's to your GAL getting an unexpected inheritance and retiring in the Bahamas! goodvibes.gif

 


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#97 of 114 Old 04-25-2011, 01:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I talked to the CPS worker today. I kinda beat around the bush talking about other stuff having to do with the case and said can I ask about last wednesday? She said that she met with him and she said I need to talk to the ped about the cream she prescribed for her rash. I said well it wasn't a rash, it was unexplainable redness and she didn't prescribe anything, it was Desitin because it acted like a barrier and it was to be put on before bedtime(which he never had her overnight) and it was to be applied on the outside(who puts cream up inside of a child?). It kinda sounds like he is backtracking and trying to justify? I don't know. My blood has been boiling all day. Plus it's not the story my daughter has been giving. She sees her ped today and I plan on bringing it up in private. GRRRRRR I AM SO MAD.

 

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#98 of 114 Old 04-26-2011, 08:05 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MovnMama View Post

OMG mama, couldn't read and not post. You are so so strong, and your daughter is blessed to have a mother like you, who is doing all she can to protect her. I can't even imagine what you are going through, but I'm keeping you and your LO in my thoughts. I'm also so glad that the MDC has so much good advice for you - it's lucky to have the resources here. Good luck and hugs.



 I agree with all of this.  You are a wonderful mother, and no matter what happens, your daughter knows that you fought for her.  She will never ever forget that you did all within your power to keep her safe.  Your love will give her strength for the rest of her life.

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#99 of 114 Old 04-26-2011, 08:09 AM
 
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It doesn't help the way our society treats women and children.....I was watching "Dr" Phil last week and he told a mom that she should let her child see her father even though the father choked the mom and broke her wrist...and then he sells shirts on his site against domestic violence what a joke!  Until our society starts seeing abuse of all types for the evil horrible thing that it is, things like this will keep happening.  Sorry to rant OP, just makes me so angry for you.

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#100 of 114 Old 05-06-2011, 08:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So we both had interviews this week with the psychologist involved in the case. My daughter seemed ok meeting with him. This would be interview #6 in this long event. She told me he didn't believe her because he asked if she was lying :/

Anyway, I met with him. He said that he asked for her to draw her family and she drew me, her brother, her pets and herself. He asked where her dad was in the picture and she she said "I don't like my daddy, he touched my pee pee and it hurt"...he said she sounded conditioned and so calm about it...well yeah, INTERVIEW #6. He said my concerns over psycho girlfriend were valid and he wanted to meet with my daughter AGAIN to talk to her about psycho. He also said that my ex would be put through more testing, didn't say what though.

I also got a phone call from the children's justice center. That's where detectives are who interview the kids to see if they can criminally prosecute. We've been turned away twice. We had a partial interview and exam done there and they report came back with HIGHLY CONCERNING FOR CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE and maybe that's why this head detective decided to call. He is assigning it to a detective and a case number and she'll be interviewed again, but this one is SO important.

well that's all the update I have right now...

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#101 of 114 Old 05-06-2011, 08:42 AM
 
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I'm sorry this is dragging out so long. greensad.gif I am glad the Children's Justice Center has assigned a detective, though. That seems like a positive step.
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#102 of 114 Old 05-07-2011, 10:08 AM
 
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Wow, what a horrible nightmare you are living right now OP.  I was thinking of you yesterday and said a prayer for you and your DD.  Hang in there... It sounds like there are some positive things happening at least. 

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#103 of 114 Old 05-08-2011, 10:27 PM
 
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Just wanted to send you some positive vibes. I've been thinking about you today, (mothers day) and just thought I'd send you some love for being an amazing mama.  Hope you have been having a good day, and hope that the future is bright for you guys....


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#104 of 114 Old 05-09-2011, 06:55 AM
 
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Well, Im glad to hear a more positive update. It sounds like someone is finally taking this seriously. I know these interviews must be exhausting. How is your DD doing (behavior wise) with this long, drawn out process?

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#105 of 114 Old 05-09-2011, 08:53 AM
 
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Thinking of you and praying for you and your dd.  hug2.gif

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#106 of 114 Old 05-09-2011, 09:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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She is doing better. She seems more ok about things. She will tell anyone who asks about her dad that he touched her and hurt her. No more nightmares, no more bouts of depression. She will still get clingy and breakdown easily and she freaks out about anyone touching her.

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#107 of 114 Old 05-27-2011, 11:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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an update..
 

we met with the detective and she disclosed to the detective. I guess the words she used and what she told them turned it from a molestation case to a rape case :(

She has been so brave. She has a very long road ahead of her too...as in the state I live in, she has to be strong enough to take the witness stand. She will have to go through interviews with the prosecuter and defense attorney. So sad my state does that :(

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#108 of 114 Old 05-28-2011, 01:40 AM
 
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bawling.gif Oh poor baby. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this, or that she is living with this horror. I just want to tell you how amazing you are, being so strong for your daughter. I agree that it is horrible that that's what has to happen, but it's better than being silent. What a strong and brave kiddo. You are always in my thoughts, every day. I wish I could help, but just wanted to send you some love. 


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#109 of 114 Old 05-28-2011, 06:03 AM
 
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oh mama.  I'm so glad they are taking it seriously, that if anything good will come of this that he never hurts another child.  Your daughter is so brave.

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#110 of 114 Old 05-31-2011, 06:43 PM
 
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Oh hun, i was horrified to read your story, you poor darling - reaching out to give you a big (((((((((hug))))))))))

I wanted to say how admirable I think you are and what a wonderful example of courage and strength you are to your daughter, I hope for her that one day THAT's what will stand out far more then the abuse. When a mother doesnt believe it and ignores it, that can be far more damaging to the child then the abuse itself. 

 

I am praying for you and your DD and the best possible outcome for this.  wishing you both some peace and justice very soon xx

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#111 of 114 Old 06-03-2011, 05:07 PM
 
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Ugh :(.  That is absolutely sickening.  Thinking of you and her OP....  You are BOTH so brave.  I can't even imagine how much my heart would break as a mother. 

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#112 of 114 Old 06-04-2011, 02:35 AM
 
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yikes i hope seh does not have to take the stand. that is just not fair. in this case. with so many agencies agreeing. 

 

:( :( :(

 

how is your mom doing mama? is she now believing your dd?

 

will ur dd go to school this year? or next year? or will u homeschool her? 

 

however i am so happy to hear the update about your dd. what a super strong girl she is. 

 

i am sorry if i missed this but she is no longer seeing her dad right? or does she have supervised visits? i hope not. not with rape. :(


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#113 of 114 Old 07-30-2011, 08:18 PM
 
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Hi OP. Im looking for an update from you. I hope things are going well and the case has made progress.
Still thinking about you!

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#114 of 114 Old 07-31-2011, 09:21 PM
 
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I am glad a detective is looking into this case finally.  The one thing that makes things hard for SA cases and rape cases is that it can be very hard to prove.  Not all abuses or even rapes will leave physical evidence.  This is one of many reasons why they will get let off the hook.  And yes what has been said before, that courts are big on (often many times anyway) keeping both families in the picture despite prior histories.  I have read of a judge in one case (with domestic abuse, no SA) stating that the child should be allowed to see the father because the physical abuse was directed towards mom, not the child, and therefore was not a danger to a child.  angry.gif  And OP I'm NOT trying to scare you but to echo some of the comments that have already been posted.  I'm sorry this is still going on but it looks like things might be going better for you in some senses.  Keep us posted.


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