I'm divorced. I have been on the dating scene this past year with no luck as of yet. I really haven't dated anyone seriously to this point. The guy I've been seeing I met in October of last year. He is great! He never argues, we get along for the most part on every subject and even talk out the things we don't necessarily see eye to eye on and get along even then. He has a child and I have 3 children. We haven't done much with our children, just meet up at church sometimes. We haven't had sex yet because of our beliefs and wanting to wait for a while longer, but we do other things to keep that area exciting. So far the relationship is great.
My problem with him is that he is TOO sensitive. I can make the smallest comment about something and he will run it in the ground discussing it and will even write up a long email to point out things and is very, very sensitive. Will say he didn't sleep all night because of something I say bothering him or he gets himself worked up so much in his mind over something I might say and it will drain him to the point of sleeping for ten hours straight and not being able to wake. (shrug) It can be the smallest of comments I make and it's only pertaining to us or a situation between us usually. He will also get on the phone with me when frustrated over something and talk for hours on end and I rarely get a chance to chime in and say anything and the whole conversation gets taken over by him. I'm not used to that.
Example: he was going to stop by after work the other day. The kids go to their dads for a few hours on that particular day and this guy was going to stop by fast and leave shortly after they returned. He had told me that he wasn't ready to start coming over to my house around my kids just yet because he thinks he and I need to get to know one another even more and was afraid we would focus on the kids too much and forget about "us" and getting deeper in our relationship. Well I sort of understood but we only have 1 night together at this point each week because my EX only will watch the children one day/night per week at this point and that's on the weekend, so we go ALL week long and don't see one another usually. So....that day he said he was coming by I had told my kids he "might" stop by and for them to be normal and do their usual activities. He ended up "not" coming and they came home asking questions about where he was and if he came and what not. They were excited he might be coming. Well I proceeded to send him a few texts telling him he was "right" and that it's probably too soon for him to start coming over like that because I didn't realize the impression it had made on the kids thinking he "might" come by. I told him it might be best to do it another way, like me get a sitter and we meet up that way so we can be alone. He took those texts allllll in a bad way. Said he didn't understand them and that we NEEDED to talk about them. He said he felt bad and hurt that I said it as if I was trying to make him "feel bad" for not coming. I was in no way doing that. We still haven't talked about it because we've both been so busy. And last night I was on the phone with him and fell asleep while talking (I do that often, oops) which is another area I have issues in. I have been overly stressed out and tired lately and falling asleep at odd times of the day, which he has a hard time understanding as well. I think he thinks he bores me on the phone. I don't think that's what it is because I get tired even if I'm not talking to him on the phone each night. I can go to sleep very easily and very early! I also get tired all throughout the day. But that part isn't the point of this post, the part about him being sensitive to things I say is what I'm having a hard time with. I can't tell him he is too sensitive because it's part of his personality that I like in regards to "other" areas of his life. I don't know what to do.
ugh ugh ugh, this dating thing is so tough. It's so hard to find the right person and to figure out when is the time to start bringing them around the kids.
My problem with him is that he is TOO sensitive. I can make the smallest comment about something and he will run it in the ground discussing it and will even write up a long email to point out things and is very, very sensitive. Will say he didn't sleep all night because of something I say bothering him or he gets himself worked up so much in his mind over something I might say and it will drain him to the point of sleeping for ten hours straight and not being able to wake. (shrug) It can be the smallest of comments I make and it's only pertaining to us or a situation between us usually. He will also get on the phone with me when frustrated over something and talk for hours on end and I rarely get a chance to chime in and say anything and the whole conversation gets taken over by him. I'm not used to that.
Example: he was going to stop by after work the other day. The kids go to their dads for a few hours on that particular day and this guy was going to stop by fast and leave shortly after they returned. He had told me that he wasn't ready to start coming over to my house around my kids just yet because he thinks he and I need to get to know one another even more and was afraid we would focus on the kids too much and forget about "us" and getting deeper in our relationship. Well I sort of understood but we only have 1 night together at this point each week because my EX only will watch the children one day/night per week at this point and that's on the weekend, so we go ALL week long and don't see one another usually. So....that day he said he was coming by I had told my kids he "might" stop by and for them to be normal and do their usual activities. He ended up "not" coming and they came home asking questions about where he was and if he came and what not. They were excited he might be coming. Well I proceeded to send him a few texts telling him he was "right" and that it's probably too soon for him to start coming over like that because I didn't realize the impression it had made on the kids thinking he "might" come by. I told him it might be best to do it another way, like me get a sitter and we meet up that way so we can be alone. He took those texts allllll in a bad way. Said he didn't understand them and that we NEEDED to talk about them. He said he felt bad and hurt that I said it as if I was trying to make him "feel bad" for not coming. I was in no way doing that. We still haven't talked about it because we've both been so busy. And last night I was on the phone with him and fell asleep while talking (I do that often, oops) which is another area I have issues in. I have been overly stressed out and tired lately and falling asleep at odd times of the day, which he has a hard time understanding as well. I think he thinks he bores me on the phone. I don't think that's what it is because I get tired even if I'm not talking to him on the phone each night. I can go to sleep very easily and very early! I also get tired all throughout the day. But that part isn't the point of this post, the part about him being sensitive to things I say is what I'm having a hard time with. I can't tell him he is too sensitive because it's part of his personality that I like in regards to "other" areas of his life. I don't know what to do.
ugh ugh ugh, this dating thing is so tough. It's so hard to find the right person and to figure out when is the time to start bringing them around the kids.