do men start dating sooner after a speration? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 02-18-2011, 06:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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On average? My STBX and I have been seperated for a month and I found out he already has a date??!! wednesday he was telling me how broken he was without me and now he has a date? Is this just how it is? I mean I feel a little excited about dating again and finding a new guy to spend time with and everything but I don't think it would be right to start doing that before we are seperated a little bit longer and I give myself some time to get used to being a single lady again!

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#2 of 11 Old 02-18-2011, 07:09 AM
 
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I think it's situational but I would venture to guess that men do start dating earlier. Many men don't have as much custody of children and can spend their free time dating.

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#3 of 11 Old 02-18-2011, 07:36 AM
 
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I don't think there's a hard answer for this. In some cases, yes a man starts dating before a woman does. But in some situations it can be reversed. In my situation, ex started dating WAY before I did (he had already dated, been engaged and broken up with that girl before I even had my first date! LOL).


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#4 of 11 Old 02-18-2011, 10:27 AM
 
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in my case, no. I started dating a month or so after he moved out (the marriage had been completely dead for many months before he finally moved out) and he just started dating seriously in the last couple months, 3.5 years after moving out.

 

It depends on the person and the situation.


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#5 of 11 Old 02-18-2011, 11:38 AM
 
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I don't know if you can generalize on this or not. I think some people (both men and women) just find it really hard to be alone and jump from one relationship right into another. I think it's also a distraction for some people. If you're occupied with a new relationship you don't have to spend any energy trying to figure out what went wrong in the last one.

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#6 of 11 Old 02-18-2011, 12:54 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NolaRiordan View Post

I don't know if you can generalize on this or not. I think some people (both men and women) just find it really hard to be alone and jump from one relationship right into another. I think it's also a distraction for some people. If you're occupied with a new relationship you don't have to spend any energy trying to figure out what went wrong in the last one.



 This is exactly what I was thinking. I think men in general tend to do this more than women but it's not all men and affects women too.

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#7 of 11 Old 02-18-2011, 04:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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good points. I guess just listening to him talk about how broken he is and then to find out he has a date, has been talking to 2 other women and also asking people if they have any single friends has taken me by suprise! I guess if anything it has completely rid me of any second guesses I might have been feeling about leaving him and has taken care of any guilt I might have been feeling about leaving him "all alone".

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#8 of 11 Old 02-18-2011, 08:29 PM
 
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HA! My ex was on dating websites the day after I told him I was planning to leave. By day 3 he was already texting someone and by day 7 I couldn't stand it any longer and moved out.  A week later he was dating a woman. A month after that they had a sleepover with all of their kids- his 3 and her 3.  And two months later she moved in with him. CRAZY.  So I say- yeah- typically the guy moves on a lot faster- although some women do as well.

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#9 of 11 Old 02-18-2011, 08:50 PM
 
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Men heal by starting a new relationship (read that).  I have 2, one didn't couple up for a few years after and the other married 4 months after we divorced to a gal he'd known 2 months!!

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#10 of 11 Old 02-18-2011, 11:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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ha, i guess im a hypocrite...i just found that OKCupid site and chatted with someone! I guess that's not technically a date but more than I thought id be doing anytime soon! I guess you just cant really tell how it's going to be!

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#11 of 11 Old 02-19-2011, 11:33 AM
 
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Haha - my ex was seeing someone before the marriage even ended... does that count?   Anyway, they moved in together after we had been officially separated for 7 months and they are now engaged.

 

As for me, I didn't feel ready until a year after separation.  I met someone online a month ago and have been dating him for 2 weeks now :D


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