Seperation of property as a sahm? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 8 Old 03-23-2011, 07:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I think I need others opinions on this. Am I out of line or does sbx have a valid point?

 

We seem to have reached an agreement on most of the major items but it's small things that we are not in agreement about. Sbx and I both had iphones for a couple of years. the contract was in his name only. The contract is now over and I am keeping my iphone as all the apps still work, I just can't make calls on it. Sbx keeps mentioning to me and our children how he wants the phone back so he can sell it, and how it is his. Now about 6 months ago when we were still using it as a phone he reported my phone as stolen (twice) and the judge blasted him for doing so.

         is the phone his or mine? Do I give it to him or just tell him to stop playing games.

  For some reason this seems to be the battle he wants to fight. I wouldn't be concerned apart from he keeps talking about it to our children, who go away and think about it and end up worrying about it.

   Am I just being stuborn? i am worried about all my info on the phone should I give it to him, and the kids still use it a lot as it has all their game apps on it. AHHHHHHH

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#2 of 8 Old 03-23-2011, 08:31 AM
 
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You were married, right? So it was joint marital property? And it was your phone? I think he's out of line.

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#3 of 8 Old 03-23-2011, 08:53 AM
 
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it's your phone.  it doesn't matter if he paid for it or if it was only in his name, you were the one using it, and i'm sure he himself referred to it as "your phone" countless times during your marriage.  it's yours!

 

being in the opposite role where i'm the sole breadwinner and my spouse was the sahp, i 100% agree that stuff should still be split up fairly.  you take what's clearly yours, he takes what's clearly his, and the "ours" stuff has to be worked through.  aside from the emotional benefit to the child(ren), being a sahp absolutely is a financial contribution to the family, considering the cost of childcare, so "not working" as some people like to say, really doesn't mean you're entitled to any less. 

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#4 of 8 Old 03-23-2011, 09:47 AM
 
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He's just being a jerk. I would laugh in his face and tell him to talk to your lawyer. No way would I give it to him. Hide it at a friend's house if necessary. He's got a phone, you've got a phone. Seems fairly split to me. If he insists, tell him you want to sell his car and split the money, or you want his computer for the kids or something. He just thinks you're a push-over. Don't be one. Never believe what a STBX is telling you, and always talk to a lawyer.


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#5 of 8 Old 03-23-2011, 12:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by doubledutch View Post

it's your phone.  it doesn't matter if he paid for it or if it was only in his name, you were the one using it, and i'm sure he himself referred to it as "your phone" countless times during your marriage.  it's yours!

 

being in the opposite role where i'm the sole breadwinner and my spouse was the sahp, i 100% agree that stuff should still be split up fairly.  you take what's clearly yours, he takes what's clearly his, and the "ours" stuff has to be worked through.  aside from the emotional benefit to the child(ren), being a sahp absolutely is a financial contribution to the family, considering the cost of childcare, so "not working" as some people like to say, really doesn't mean you're entitled to any less



Thank you for saying that! it's something sbx throws in my face quite a bit, and it's been really getting to me. Making me feel very defensive about our choices from the past!! I know deep down it's just one of his tactics to make me feel weak and vunrable, it's what he is very good at doing, but it does still get to me.

    As to the property, yea, I have a strong back bone and I need to use it lol.

Thanks Ladies!!

 

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#6 of 8 Old 03-24-2011, 04:20 AM
 
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It's marital property.  If he wants it so bad, tell him that he can buy it from you.  If he goes in front of a judge over a phone, well, let's just say it won't go well for him.  If he does, be sure to have your attorney motion for all legal fees related to this trivial issue to be paid by him. 

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#7 of 8 Old 03-24-2011, 05:35 AM
 
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Sorry he's not only being a UAV over something trivial, but also involving the kids in it. Definitely refuse and let him get his panties in a twist over it.

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#8 of 8 Old 03-25-2011, 04:33 PM
 
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I don't have an iphone, but don't you have to buy apps through the itunes store? couldn't you just call apple, or go to the apple store, and have them moved to a new iphone? Just buy yourself a new one and let him try to sell it empty.

 

I dunno. This seems to me not worth getting your undies in a twist over. If it's so damn important to him, use it to gain leverage over something you DO want.

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