My dh has moved out - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Thread Tools
#1 of 6 Old 04-18-2011, 08:09 AM - Thread Starter
mamapajama's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: The Emerald City
Posts: 643
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


This is my first time on this forum.  My husband of ten years and partner of 16 years has moved out leaving me, a homeschooling, stay at home mom of 9 years.  I have two boys ages 8 and 6.  He told them he was moving out because he didn't love me anymore.  They are so sad.  I am so sad.  I don't know what I'm going to do.  Money won't be an issue right away, but I don't have a job and my kids will have to go to school.  They've never been to school.  And I feel so terrible.  He blames me, says I was never happy and he just couldn't take it anymore.  He is bipolar, and we lost a baby last year so things have been difficult for sure.  But he refused counseling.  He bought me a car, gave me some cash and moved into downtown seattle in to a hip little neighborhood about 20 minutes away.  I am in shock.  I am destroyed.

, mama to DS(7/)22/02) DS (8/14/04) , and an angel (3/10/10)nursing a broken heart...loving my boys.
mamapajama is offline  
Sponsored Links
#2 of 6 Old 04-18-2011, 08:31 AM
Lauren82's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: TN
Posts: 1,415
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

I can't even imagine how shocking and painful this must be for you and your children. Do you have someone you can turn to for support? Also, counseling might be a good idea for you right now as you navigate through this.

If you get an attorney you should be able to file for temporary child support, custody and possible alimony. I'd do that before the money runs out. In my state what your husband did would be grounds for at fault abandonment. I'm sure that right now you feel like you can hardly breathe, but definitely get working on legal matters before you find yourself with a pile of bills that can't be paid and hungry mouths to feed.


Please be gentle with yourself, Mama. hug2.gif

Mama to 5 busy bees (12, 9, 7, 3, 2) and expecting #6 June/2014

Lauren82 is online now  
#3 of 6 Old 04-18-2011, 08:42 AM - Thread Starter
mamapajama's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: The Emerald City
Posts: 643
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

He did set up a support plan with me for the next 6 months.  I have talked to one lawyer who was a jerk and told me to put my kids in school and get a job. I have recommendations for two more.  It took him a week to move out, after he told me so it has been pure hell.  He moved out last night, so I actually feel a little bit more peaceful about it today.  I just can't believe it.  After all these years I am single.  Alone.  Partnerless in a situation and in a place that we created together.  I am so sad for my beautiful family.  And my poor boys who just learned that when times get tough in a marraige, you should walk away.


thanks for your support.

Yes I need to find a therapist.

, mama to DS(7/)22/02) DS (8/14/04) , and an angel (3/10/10)nursing a broken heart...loving my boys.
mamapajama is offline  
#4 of 6 Old 04-18-2011, 10:43 AM
rubelin's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,807
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

I am so sorry this is happening to you. My marriage ended in a similar way, though it took 6 months for him to leave and our kids were younger. I wish I'd gotten a good therapist back then, but the one I found at the time was a lot like that lawyer you saw and I'd leave every appt. even more distraught than when I went in so I quit after a month or 2. I'm now seeing someone fabulous but it's been nearly 4 years that I spent being less than healthy.


Robin~ single, work-at-home momma to my WonderBoys
YoungMan (6/00) & LittleBoy (6/04)
rubelin is online now  
#5 of 6 Old 04-18-2011, 06:41 PM
robinchap1's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 457
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I just wanted to send a hug and some support.  One day at at time.  You just have to get through today. And you're doing it. Do you have good friends/family nearby?


robinchap1 is offline  
#6 of 6 Old 04-18-2011, 06:54 PM
kitchensqueen's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Elk Grove Village, IL
Posts: 3,467
Mentioned: 34 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 71 Post(s)

Just wanted to offer my support here - you and your kids are strong and will get through this!


Definitely get the legal/financial situation sorted out ASAP - he owes it to you and your kids to make sure they're provided for, even if he's no longer in a relationship with you. Good luck!

Apartment Farm - the chronicles of my cooking, gardening, crafting and other such things. 


kitchensqueen is offline  

Quick Reply
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off