Plumber was flirting with me--what next? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 30 Old 06-20-2011, 10:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have to laugh because I'm SO rusty at dating!  It's been 20 years.  I'm a little overweight but I do wear makeup.

So--I got a leak and called my home warranty folks.  They sent a totally adorable guy over to fix my leak.  Throughout the course of the hour that he was there he told me I had the prettiest hair and eyes, called me babydoll (which I thought was cute because he apologized as soon as he said it), and my neighbor who came to see what was up--even said that he was flirting. 

I've been divorced now for several months--but before that, I've been alone for almost two years--ex left us high and dry well over a year ago (seems like ten) and before that, made himself incredibly scarce--he was never ever home. During that time, I've done nothing. No dates, no flirting, nothing.  This is new territory.

 

Now here's the thing:  cute plumber left some tools behind.  What do I do?  My neighbor said:  duh, you have his cell number because he called to let you know he was on the way.  She's right!  He didn't have a ring on and the subject of on-line dating came up he said something like:  I've tried that, and I've tried church, too.  In reference to meeting people.  He DIDN'T say:  I met my wife this way...or anything like that.  Neighbor says call him and offer to return tools over a drink somewhere.  If nothing else, returning the tools would be the nice thing.  But I don't want to look pushy.  Plus, my kids are young--7 and 9---I have pics of them all over the house--but maybe he's not into a woman with kids?  I mean, he did see their bedrooms on the way to the master bath where the leak was coming from.   I'm not really looking for anything serious--but dinner would be nice.  I have to admit though, he was so cute--I think he could do better than me in the looks department...and he might be a couple of years younger.  Ugh.


WWYD?

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#2 of 30 Old 06-20-2011, 10:53 AM
 
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I would totally call and ask if he wants to come by and get them, or meet for lunch somewhere! I gives him the option of just picking them up, or going on a "date" without feeling obligated to do either.

And don't be so hard on yourself! If you think he's cute, go hang out a bit! You don't have to be soul mates, or even go further than a pleasant afternoon!

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#3 of 30 Old 06-20-2011, 11:30 AM
 
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Is it that you doubt his motives or that you feel inadequate?

 

Call him and tell him he left the tools.

 

I can really identify with all that you are saying -- when I first started dating, I was so confused, wasn't sure what I wanted or what anything "meant." I still don't know what anything means wink1.gif, but I'm less confused.

 

So much of dating is not personal. The details don't matter as much as they seem to. I think that when it doesn't work out, it's probably less about me and more about where the other person is at the time.

 

I'm trying to figure out how to put this... I hear you saying that you're concerned that your appearance and the fact that you have half-grown children is a liability. Frankly, I am relatively thin right now, but have dated when "slightly overweight" and everywhere between. I don't want a guy who wants a particular body type. I will not be with someone who criticizes my appearance -- ever -- and I have no idea what peri-menopause/menopause will do to my metabolism, figure, etc.

 

Sorry to be so random and babbly -- dizzy.gif

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#4 of 30 Old 06-20-2011, 11:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Sparkle--I feel inadequate.  Totally.   And I do agree with you regarding who you would date based on personal qualities over looks--there has to be something there initially--wouldn't you agree?  

Anyway...looks like I'll have to just call him!  He probably needs those tools!  LOL

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#5 of 30 Old 06-20-2011, 12:56 PM
 
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I'm suspicious that he left the tools behind on purpose as an excuse to see you again. The conversation you describe makes it sound like he was interested. Yippee!
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Rainbow.gif ~ Molly
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#6 of 30 Old 06-21-2011, 10:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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That sounds hopeful!  I will have to do the right thing and get those tools back to him...so far, I haven't had the guts to call him.  I wonder how badly he needs those things?  Better make that call soon!  :(


If nothing else:  I have been inspired to start watching myself in the area of food and exercise.  I was a marathon runner for years...and have let myself go.  This is good incentive.  :)

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#7 of 30 Old 06-21-2011, 10:56 AM
 
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i kinda think you should call him asap and let him know he left the tools.  shy.gif  the longer you wait, the weirder it gets?

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#8 of 30 Old 06-21-2011, 11:12 AM
 
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He totally left those tools on purpose. :)

 

Either way, yes, you need to call and let him know he left them, whether or not you ask him out.

 

 

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#9 of 30 Old 06-21-2011, 12:21 PM
 
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Yes, I would definitely call. Maybe suggest a good time when you'd be home and he could come get them (when the kids aren't around) and then offer him a cup of coffee or a drink?

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#10 of 30 Old 06-21-2011, 12:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NolaRiordan View Post

Yes, I would definitely call. Maybe suggest a good time when you'd be home and he could come get them (when the kids aren't around) and then offer him a cup of coffee or a drink?


bom-chicka-wah-wah.

 

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#11 of 30 Old 06-21-2011, 01:00 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by doubledutch View Post




bom-chicka-wah-wah.

 




jumpers.gif

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#12 of 30 Old 06-21-2011, 01:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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lol
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by doubledutch View Post




bom-chicka-wah-wah.

 



 

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#13 of 30 Old 06-21-2011, 01:22 PM
 
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And then when he gets there you can say last you saw the tools they were in your bedroom and perhaps he could follow you there and you could show him .......

 

 

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#14 of 30 Old 06-21-2011, 03:13 PM
 
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And while you are walking toward the bedroom, you can tell him about how your neck is sore because you slept funny and maybe he could rub it for you...
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#15 of 30 Old 06-22-2011, 07:24 AM
 
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hmm, sounds like we should write a smut book.

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#16 of 30 Old 06-22-2011, 07:44 AM
 
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LOL!

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#17 of 30 Old 06-22-2011, 08:58 AM
 
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And you just happen to have some oil which may be helpful for him in rubbing your neck. And when you open the bottle it spills on his pants. You apologize profusely and offer to launder the pants for him .....

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#18 of 30 Old 06-22-2011, 09:31 AM
 
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And so he reaches down and unbuckles his belt and slides his pants off. You suggest that he sit on the bed while he waits for you to take care of the stain and when he does so you notice that some oil has soaked through the pants and has transformed his muscular thighs into a glistening beacon beckoning to you enticingly...

Rainbow.gif ~ Molly
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#19 of 30 Old 06-22-2011, 09:32 AM
 
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(Please let me know if this is going too far, so I can edit or stfu if needed. I don't want to offend anyone, but this thread is totally cracking me up.)

Rainbow.gif ~ Molly
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#20 of 30 Old 06-22-2011, 09:47 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mimim View Post

And so he reaches down and unbuckles his belt and slides his pants off. You suggest that he sit on the bed while he waits for you to take care of the stain and when he does so you notice that some oil has soaked through the pants and has transformed his muscular thighs into a glistening beacon beckoning to you enticingly...


LOL! Love that last phrase.

 

I'm loving this thread too. In my case I am so hard up, this kind of thing is a good outlet ROTFLMAO.gif

 

 

 

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#21 of 30 Old 06-22-2011, 10:54 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GranoLLLy-girl View Post

I have to laugh because I'm SO rusty at dating!  It's been 20 years.  I'm a little overweight but I do wear makeup.

So--I got a leak and called my home warranty folks.  They sent a totally adorable guy over to fix my leak.  Throughout the course of the hour that he was there he told me I had the prettiest hair and eyes, called me babydoll (which I thought was cute because he apologized as soon as he said it),



I hate to throw a wet blanket over this fun thread, but honestly, I'm getting all kinds of red flag feelings when I read this.  That strikes me as very unprofessional behavior and I'm pretty sure that any plumber worth his, uh, wrench, would be super-careful about being perceived as coming on to a single female with whom he is alone while on the job.  He has *no business* commenting on your eyes or appearance while he is there to do a professional repair.  I can understand that it was flattering and exciting, and most likely, he meant well; but what if he comments on women's appearances in other situations, and not so flatteringly?  Who does he think his is to remark on the looks of customers, who simply want to get their plumbing back in working order?

 

The "babydoll" thing really freaks me out, frankly.   But I'm cranky, lol.

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#22 of 30 Old 06-23-2011, 04:46 AM
 
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Aw come on!  We're all human beings after all and plenty of couple meet while working or in other situations like this.  I don't see any red flags at all here and think it would be a cute story if it turned into something.

 

OP you have to update!

 

(and I'm totally forum crashing)


Mama to one 2 yr. old tornado banana.gif
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#23 of 30 Old 06-23-2011, 04:59 AM
 
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I'm forum crashing too lol. 

 

Are you in the south? Because I can see calling someone "babydoll" in the south, but also that it could be awkward/inappropriate elsewhere.

 

I also think he left the tools on purpose.

 

I would see how he responds when asked if he speaks to other clients this way. Maybe he really is just gobsmacked and this is the first time he has acted this way. I hope.  

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#24 of 30 Old 06-23-2011, 08:15 AM
 
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Well, he apologized for the "babydoll" immediately, so it probably just slipped out and he understands respect and boundaries. 

 

I'm guessing he may have left the tools, too, because he wasn't sure how to lead up to something. 

 

I recently had a cable guy hit on me and it was sweet.  I say have your fun when it presents itself!

 

But, I would NOT invite him for coffee or anything.  I would just call him, tell him about his tools, and see what HE says when he comes to pick them up. 

 

A date is nice, but I don't ask guys out.  I think it sets a bad precedent.  (I know. I know. There are super-sweet shy guys out there.  I still don't ask guys out. If he can't ask me a simple question, I know we will not make it, so I don't even go there.)


Yes, yes.  I'm fabulous. loveeyes.gif  Moving on...

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#25 of 30 Old 06-23-2011, 08:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, after several days...I did call.  And I left a message saying that he left the tools.  He called right back.  Said we could meet on Saturday and was glad to hear about the tools.  So we'll probably meet at the nearby Starbucks...and it probably won't go any further than that--he was still sweet on the phone--but didn't sound as flirty.

Yes, we're in the south--and frankly, I don't mind asking guys out...sometimes it takes a little push to get them out of the gate...but I don't consider meeting him at Starbucks to return tools a date.  I do have to laugh at the twists this thread has taken...and my IRL bestie said that this whole thing did sound like a bit of a porn film to her, too!  LOL!

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#26 of 30 Old 06-23-2011, 04:06 PM
 
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But if you have coffee after the transfer of tools, its a date!

 

Now mind you math was never my strong suit but it seems to me that:

 

tea6.gifloveeyes.gif = lovestory.gif

 

 

 

jumpers.gif

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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#27 of 30 Old 06-23-2011, 06:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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LOL--no more babies here!  But I wouldn't mind the practice!  LOL!!


 

Quote:
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But if you have coffee after the transfer of tools, its a date!

 

Now mind you math was never my strong suit but it seems to me that:

 

tea6.gifloveeyes.gif = lovestory.gif

 

 

 

jumpers.gif

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

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#28 of 30 Old 06-24-2011, 12:08 PM
 
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We need a "couple" smiley!  
 

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LOL--no more babies here!  But I wouldn't mind the practice!  LOL!!


 



 



 

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#29 of 30 Old 06-24-2011, 02:00 PM
 
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Sorry I am not up on the fiction-writing a la unbuckling and beckoning...BUT...my DH is in a similar profession and said two things:  1) plumbers sometimes don't wear rings because they can lose them on the job, and 2) he totally left the tools there on purpose.  And he didn't say this since I didn't read your whole post to him, but the weight thing?  Meh.  Most guys like women just fine without scary skinny angles.

 

I would offer to bring his tools to him in a public location.  I honestly would also run his name through a sex offender registry...when I was dating, I did this before I ever went on a date.  You go to your state police registry and type in your zip code.  In my state, it brings up a photo and address and sometimes the details of the offense.  I am not trying to freak you out...just a BTDT piece of advice.  Dating freaked me out, too, and this was one thing I could do to feel a bit safer.  Since you have kids, I wouldn't invite him back to your place again until you know him a whole lot better.

 

Overall, it sounds good and fun and I would be butterfly-ish in my tummy about it, too.  Good luck!


 sleepytime.gif I got tired of my signature, but I still love my children and husband and miss my little brotherkid.gif

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#30 of 30 Old 06-26-2011, 04:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, weekend went by...no plumber.  He was to call me over the weekend when the time was good for him--no call ever came. I called him the first time to tell him I had the tools and to make sure he had my number and I didn't call him after that.  He'll call if he wants the tools badly enough--I look at it this way:  he has more to lose than I if he doesn't call.  And I don't feel it's my responsibility to chase him to return something that belongs to him.  It's not like I borrowed the tools--he simply left them.  I do hope that this is not a trick he tries often or he is going to be very poor leaving his tools all over the city--and the pun is pretty good, too!  LOL!!

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