**Trigger**Protecting Child from wrong babysitter- what are a mother's rights with shared custody - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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#91 of 100 Old 06-23-2011, 01:41 PM
 
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Each time you begin to show signs that you might be starting to get it, you take a giant leap back. gloomy.gif

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#92 of 100 Old 06-23-2011, 01:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Example... another hurtful judgement.  This time esoteric.  And, no one's going to understand you unless you can communicate. It doesn't take just one minute to solve a problem.  You need to continually educate and be helpful in a nice way to help people learn.  If your purpose is not to help someone learn and just cut someone down...  Again, you're not helping a community or yourself.  Is this how you would talk to your children when they ask you a question?  I get it. I'm an adult.  But rape awareness is new to me.  Do you know everything about being a victim of racist violence?  Should I just write meaningless things cutting you down if you asked some questions?

 

In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher. 
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If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them. 
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Each time you begin to show signs that you might be starting to get it, you take a giant leap back. gloomy.gif



 

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#93 of 100 Old 06-23-2011, 02:06 PM
 
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It is not my responsibility as a victim to educate anyone and I have never stated in any way shape or form that I know what it is like to experience racism. Many people in this thread have tried to help you see how incredibly hurtful and judgemental you are being and you are continuing to do so in each subsequent post. I do agree with you though that this is not healthy for me. I'm stepping away. Good luck to you and your daughter.

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#94 of 100 Old 06-23-2011, 02:10 PM
 
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Why?  Why should anyone who has never met this man trust that?  Am *I* in bizarro land?  You know, I wouldn't really care about this thread or care to even respond to you questions other than the fact that I think it is truly important for all parents to trust their instincts and their partners instincts when they feel something is "off."  A great deal of the time, parents will acknowledge that they did have a bad gut feeling about a person, but didn't want to overreact, be "paranoid", offend someone, etc. so they ignored true warning signs with ugly ugly outcomes.  I've seen in first hand more than I would have liked to, and my experiences have led me to feel that my child's safety is 100 times more important than a whole series of other priorities, including giving people the benefit of the doubt. 

 


 

I'm not saying you should trust a man you've never met. I am saying that you are going to have to trust the other parent's judgment.  Because that's ALL you can do.  If it's their visitation you have to trust their judgment to keep the child safe.  Or you can change the custody agreement.  But unless the other parent's family is full of child predators with a legal history to such, you're unlikely to get a judge - or the other parent- to agree with you to keep the child away simply because you do not know them. 


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#95 of 100 Old 06-23-2011, 02:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Then, what is your purpose of writing?  I never said you had to educate.  But what, then, is your purpose of writing?  I'm only going off that you are writing and don't understand what it's for then?
 

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It is not my responsibility as a victim to educate anyone and I have never stated in any way shape or form that I know what it is like to experience racism. Many people in this thread have tried to help you see how incredibly hurtful and judgemental you are being and you are continuing to do so in each subsequent post. I do agree with you though that this is not healthy for me. I'm stepping away. Good luck to you and your daughter.



 

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#96 of 100 Old 06-23-2011, 02:17 PM
 
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Actually you did.  But now that we're to this point in a conversation that is rapidly spiraling downward, I'll bow out... I don't think there is anything else productive to comment on.  Clearly you and I have very different viewpoints.

 

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I'm not saying you should trust a man you've never met.

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#97 of 100 Old 06-23-2011, 02:24 PM
 
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Quote:
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Actually you did.  But now that we're to this point in a conversation that is rapidly spiraling downward, I'll bow out... I don't think there is anything else productive to comment on.  Clearly you and I have very different viewpoints.

 



Well if you are going to insist I did, I'm going to ask that you show me where.


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#98 of 100 Old 06-23-2011, 02:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Because this is a site to support mothers.   But, clearly the mother said something offenisive because she didn't understand and asked to be educated.  She apologized but that wasn't good enough for you.  Your mission now is to counterpoint anything productive on this thread at the risk of not being helpful to a 2 year old.  The mother was concerned about a 2 year old.  Why punish the 2 year old for the mother's original statement , which she retracted once she understood after having to filter though all the cut downs.

 

You are so hurt for yourself.  You won't even look at the original intention... to protect a two year old from a stranger and not even a blood relative.  People inflict pain on others in the selfish pursuit of their own satisfaction. 

 

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But we've never met the mother, either. So why should we assume that she is better qualified to make these kinds of decisions?


 

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#99 of 100 Old 06-23-2011, 02:36 PM
 
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This is a friendly nite from your neighborhood moderator. Please keep the conversation civil. Everyone deserves to be heard without judgement or the fear of persecution. Thank you for your attention to this. Back to your regularly scheduled thread...

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#100 of 100 Old 06-23-2011, 02:36 PM
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That's enough, I think.

 

I will be closing this thread. The conversation has run into attacking and some very not respectful conversation. I no longer feel this thread is adhering to the UA.  If people wish to PM me with good reasons to open it back up, please do so. If people wish to contact me with edits for posts, they may do that as well.

 

I think this thread has run far enough afield that I am not sure we can get it back on track without seriously editing.

 

I suggest if there are still questions regarding how to handle legal issues with regard to visitation and childcare, then a new thread be started, in a single forum.

 

Thank you for the thoughtful conversation that *was* accomplished.

 

 


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