good idea to file for full custody? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 06-26-2011, 05:33 PM - Thread Starter
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My STBX and I have been split for 6 months and he lives 2 hours away. He sees the kids every other weekend at the most but not b/c I have kept them from him at all. I have always made it clear he can see them whenever he wants I just cant always drive the 2 hours home (he lives in the area we both grew up so my parents are in his neck of the woods too which is nice) and he doesnt seem very up to driving very much :/ anyway he doesnt really have a job right now either and has always been pretty shaky in that department. He is going through emotional stuff and has been having panic attacks where he blacks out over us seperating so he claims. In my opinion he just needs to get his act together and stop drinking and keep a job for more than 3 months but anyway!

my question is if he isnt living near us and only seeing the kids every other weekend should I just file for full custody? 50/50 doesnt seem like it makes sense seeings how he wont have the kids half the time? Why should he get the break on child support when he isn't really taking care of the kids in a 50/50 manner?


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#2 of 5 Old 06-27-2011, 08:54 AM
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I think you should file for sole custody if you will have the kids full time.  You can always reevaluate things as his situation changes.

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#3 of 5 Old 06-27-2011, 03:53 PM
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I would definitely file for full custody.  But I would file for full custody even if he were living next door and seeing the kids every day.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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#4 of 5 Old 06-28-2011, 12:11 AM
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I'd file for full custody.  Custody and visitation are different.

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#5 of 5 Old 06-28-2011, 05:55 PM
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Custody has to do w/ who gets to make decisions about the kids - e.g. what school they attend or medical decisions. If you have joint custody that means that you share the decision making process.


Visitation is how much time the kids spend w/ each parent. Visitation is what will contribute to determing the cost of child rearing and how much support you might get (depending on income and etc.). The non-custodial parent pays child support regardless of custody. If you have 50/50 visitation (e.g. 3 and 4 day alternating schedule) then you may not get child support. If he sees the kids every-other weekend then I would expect that you are likely to get child support.

They are entirely separate issues.

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