cps question. long story - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 06-28-2011, 11:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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#2 of 8 Old 06-29-2011, 05:19 AM
 
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I'm so sorry you had to go through this.  It sounded like the cops immediately sided with your DP and victimized you when they should have been concentrating on removing him from the situation.  In any case, I understand your fear - authorities can definitely have too much of a personal opinion for the amount of power that they have and I don't know if I'd feel comfortable letting them in either, especially if they were going on and on about the condition already.  Like you said, the areas that count were clean and it seems like the cop was focusing on reporting a 'trashed' house, so if CPS does show up, at least they will see with their eyes that your kids health is not in danger.  I'd probably freak out and make sure everything was overly tidy for a few weeks but unless there are no other problems or claims that they could report and they dismissed the house issue, what more could they do?  Would your previous history with cps have any impact on their visit?


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#3 of 8 Old 06-29-2011, 05:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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ive cleaned the main floor area. i cant move the mattress with out help. so i am waiting on that. but all the area's that matter are in good shape. 

the other cps issues happened 11 years ago, (it was about delaying vaccs and then turned into a cps person thinking cloth diapers and breastfeading was abnormal and needed to be investigated and followups.) and then 5 years ago when there was a custody thing (i wanted the custody different and then their dad called cps, so that was dismissed after one home visit). but in the end all claims were dismissed. i dont know what that means though. like if i have a file some place at cps. 

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#4 of 8 Old 06-29-2011, 06:14 AM
 
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I ALWAYS co-operate with law enforcement. Thier job is to get a situation called down as quickly as possible, and I figure I can do my part by letting them do thier job. If you had quietly and cleanly let them in so your partner could collect personal effects, you would be well on your way to having a restraining order put in place.

I really feel sorry for you on the "2 years and counting" front. My divorce isn't final yet, and if I was wired like that I'd be having a breakdown over having spent 10 years with this man, begging, pleading, making his appt's for him, hoping if I loved him hard enough and long enough he'd fix himself.

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#5 of 8 Old 06-29-2011, 07:22 AM
 
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My best friend worked for Greenpeace so she has a lot of experience with law enforcement. You did the right thing. Never ever let law enforcement into your house without a warrant. They can make so much trouble over the stupidest things. Ugh. I'm sorry this happened and it sounds like you need to get your partners stuff out of your house ASAP and end that relationship. Partners don't cause partners to be manhandled by the police. greensad.gif

My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

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#6 of 8 Old 06-29-2011, 07:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tinahiggins View Post

I ALWAYS co-operate with law enforcement. Thier job is to get a situation called down as quickly as possible, and I figure I can do my part by letting them do thier job. If you had quietly and cleanly let them in so your partner could collect personal effects, you would be well on your way to having a restraining order put in place.

I really feel sorry for you on the "2 years and counting" front. My divorce isn't final yet, and if I was wired like that I'd be having a breakdown over having spent 10 years with this man, begging, pleading, making his appt's for him, hoping if I loved him hard enough and long enough he'd fix himself.



i know what cops jobs are about. sometimes some of them dont do exactly that.

quietly and cleaning can turn into something else.

and the personal property in total would have needed a large truck to fit everything in. which the police were going to do? or if some of my personal property was claimed to be theirs? then there is more drama?

i have dozens of stories in my head of citizen's with good intentions and co-operation with law enforcement that turns in to a problem for the good citizen.

in my situation theiy were young police men. one of which was already yelling about cps before anything had really happened. 

 

sorry about the 10 year realtionship drama for you. that sucks.  this is an *easy* realtionship to walk away from. unlike having children with people and/or being married!! now ive been there!!!  and im glass half full about not being there now. im seasoned enough to not beg or plead. and i understand love doesnt fix other people in that way. and right now they are their family's responsibility to help them get help. there is *no* attachment other then seriously dating for the 2 years.

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#7 of 8 Old 06-29-2011, 08:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rightkindofme View Post

My best friend worked for Greenpeace so she has a lot of experience with law enforcement. You did the right thing. Never ever let law enforcement into your house without a warrant. They can make so much trouble over the stupidest things. Ugh. I'm sorry this happened and it sounds like you need to get your partners stuff out of your house ASAP and end that relationship. Partners don't cause partners to be manhandled by the police. greensad.gif


 

thanks for the reassurance. i am scaredy cat when it comes to people anyways. but police frighten me in the worst way. and i have not had bad encounters before like that night.  

 

also TODAY partners mom is coming over to get some stuff and then the brother is coming with his truck to get the rest. 

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#8 of 8 Old 06-29-2011, 08:40 AM
 
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That is way out of line. I wouldn't worry about anything. You have civil rights and you are allowed to have a messy house. What you described doesn't sound like anything bad at all. Like many people do, when police don't get their way they resort to scare tactics. CPS will just show up take a tour and be on their way. I just think if you have nothing to hide then be compliant and the whole thing is quickly over. It is the resistance that draws cases out because it looks like you are hiding something.

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