July Dating Thread - Independence Days! We're not giving our sweet freedom up lightly....! - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Are you ready, right now, to meet a candidate for a lifetime commitment?
Yes! I hope the guy in my life right now would get down on 1 knee! 4 12.90%
Yes, if the right guy makes himself known in an unmistakable way & sweeps me off my feet. 5 16.13%
Maybe, I'd have to see how it felt if I met a promising candidate. 4 12.90%
Maybe, but I have a feeling my list of requirements will be a tough bill to fill so I'm not holding my breath. 4 12.90%
Nah, not this minute. Having too much fun or need more healing/growing time. 7 22.58%
Nope! Last thing I want at this point in my life. Ask me in a couple years! 5 16.13%
I will never marry again. 2 6.45%
Voters: 31. You may not vote on this poll

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#31 of 50 Old 07-17-2011, 07:08 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mimim View Post

A question: What do you do when someone who you've just started seeing has a birthday approaching? I really like him so far, but we are definitely still at the stage where it's very unclear what will develop between us. If it was my birthday, I'd prefer to just have him say, "Hey, happy birthday. How's your day going?" or whatever, but I'm wondering if it would be better to get him a little gift.


I like the buy him a drink idea, I'd probably go with that one or just say happy birthday to him.

 

My dating scene is still all talk and no meeting! aaarrgghh I need to find a babysitter! Next week I have to send my kids to my parents b/c they're daycare is taking a week off so hopefully I will get to meet some of these guys I have been chatting with then. I have moved on to texting with one guy but he lives the farthest away and I'm not sure how much we really have in common :/ we'll see though maybe he is the best match!

 

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#32 of 50 Old 07-18-2011, 12:30 AM
 
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Mimim, i got together with LCG 2 weeks before christmas and we spent most of christmas together but not the family dinner bit. In the end I asked him if he wanted to get presents for each other and we agreed to leave it - though in the end he got me some lovely chocolates. It can be awkward but I don't think it does any harm to raise the subject. 

 

Me and Carpenter are doing beautifully, I can hardly believe my luck and am seriously pinching myself every day. Words can't really describe... 

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#33 of 50 Old 07-18-2011, 02:37 PM
 
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Mimim - I went through this too. I just bought a small gift or card to acknowledge it. If you haven't been dating long you don't need anything big. I always look to something thoughtful. Is there something he likes to do, eat or drink?

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#34 of 50 Old 07-20-2011, 10:17 AM
 
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I've decided to officially only say happy birthday, but to bring him a nice bottle of wine and some really great cheese (which he loves) when we get together this weekend. I don't much like obligatory gift giving, for holidays etc, but I like random "I was thinking about you and thought you'd like this" instances. Plus, my birthday is in 6 weeks and I would rather he not get anything for me.

Also, I really like him, but our schedules are ridiculously incompatible. We are only able to see each other with any regularity because I am on summer break from teaching and I stay up late and have some free time during weekdays. Once school starts, I can't see how we'd be able to get together more than once a month-ish, so I anticipate things fizzling out in the fall. greensad.gif

Rainbow.gif ~ Molly
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#35 of 50 Old 07-23-2011, 02:27 PM
 
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I just read this blog entry about how to know if a guy cares about you, and I thought it was very relevant to our recent conversations (though I'm thrilled that Butterfly is no longer asking this question about her Cucumber thumb.gif )

 

http://howtogetamannow.com/so-does-he-care-about-me-7-real-good-ways-to-finally-figure-out-if-he-even-cares-about-you/

 

This guy actually has some pretty good info about dating and men in general, and his online video dating quiz is cool, though it gets a little over the top with the advertising.


Robin~ single, work-at-home momma to my WonderBoys
YoungMan (6/00) & LittleBoy (6/04)
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#36 of 50 Old 07-23-2011, 06:58 PM
 
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#37 of 50 Old 07-24-2011, 12:25 AM
 
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Well surprise surprise, despite the sweet message apologizing for his absence, the old Flame never called back. Went and hooked up again last week, with a guy I know from around the neighborhood. We had been together one night in the past, and I remember he called the next day to say hi and we kind of saw each other around a lot but at that time I had a few different things going on and we both work a lot, you know same old story. Fuck. So yea he hasn't called either and ...clearly ...I don't even want to draw any conclusions but the pattern disgusts me. What, really, what the hell. Then my other kid-free night I had a great convo with a guy (same venue- neighborhood barfly type, fabulous right) and I'm not attracted to him but we work in the same industry and we were just having a great conversation about that, and about life. I'm afraid it looked wrong/ people I know probably noticed that I left with him, ugh, but nothing happened. Certain people praise me for handling all the responsibilities of being a single mom, but I'm not comfortable accepting it. Well clearly I have issues I should resolve before dating, but in the meantime I have the desire to lose myself in conversation, relation, and touch. It's always either too tenuous or too intense. Or heck, both.

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#38 of 50 Old 07-24-2011, 09:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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.

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#39 of 50 Old 07-24-2011, 11:14 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rubelin View Post

I just read this blog entry about how to know if a guy cares about you, and I thought it was very relevant to our recent conversations (though I'm thrilled that Butterfly is no longer asking this question about her Cucumber thumb.gif )

 

http://howtogetamannow.com/so-does-he-care-about-me-7-real-good-ways-to-finally-figure-out-if-he-even-cares-about-you/

 

This guy actually has some pretty good info about dating and men in general, and his online video dating quiz is cool, though it gets a little over the top with the advertising.



My stbx only met one thing on this list - getting jealous - and it did not even have to be with a guy.

The one I hope to spend the rest of my life with does all of them.  But man is it complicated, LOL.

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by lucifugous View Post

Well surprise surprise, despite the sweet message apologizing for his absence, the old Flame never called back. Went and hooked up again last week, with a guy I know from around the neighborhood. We had been together one night in the past, and I remember he called the next day to say hi and we kind of saw each other around a lot but at that time I had a few different things going on and we both work a lot, you know same old story. Fuck. So yea he hasn't called either and ...clearly ...I don't even want to draw any conclusions but the pattern disgusts me. What, really, what the hell. Then my other kid-free night I had a great convo with a guy (same venue- neighborhood barfly type, fabulous right) and I'm not attracted to him but we work in the same industry and we were just having a great conversation about that, and about life. I'm afraid it looked wrong/ people I know probably noticed that I left with him, ugh, but nothing happened. Certain people praise me for handling all the responsibilities of being a single mom, but I'm not comfortable accepting it. Well clearly I have issues I should resolve before dating, but in the meantime I have the desire to lose myself in conversation, relation, and touch. It's always either too tenuous or too intense. Or heck, both.



Oh hun, I am so sorry. 

 

Butterflymom - AWESOME!!!  I hope that all of us who are looking find that.

 

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#40 of 50 Old 07-25-2011, 10:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, awesomeland here.  :D

 

Guys who are not on the private, secret, non-MDC gossip forum..... please PM me if you want info on how to join!  We are ready for all you guys to jump over there in case there might be some things you'd rather post as a whisper for just our little gang to hear, not out here in public where anyone on the internet can pull up this thread and read along.

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#41 of 50 Old 07-25-2011, 10:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rubelin View Post

I just read this blog entry about how to know if a guy cares about you, and I thought it was very relevant to our recent conversations (though I'm thrilled that Butterfly is no longer asking this question about her Cucumber thumb.gif )

 

http://howtogetamannow.com/so-does-he-care-about-me-7-real-good-ways-to-finally-figure-out-if-he-even-cares-about-you/

 

This guy actually has some pretty good info about dating and men in general, and his online video dating quiz is cool, though it gets a little over the top with the advertising.


Thank goodness i didn't use this list to assess Cucumber, because he hates PDA, would not be proud nor jealous if another guy noticed me, and doesn't ask my advice terribly often.   But we had a laugh talking about how he measured up on this list.


Tomorrow is our 1 year anniversary and I bought him a fabulous gift that will blow his socks off that I even did the sleuthing required to know what the thing is and that he'd be thrilled to have it (I'm resourceful and devious!) since it relates to a passion of his that I have zero knowledge of.  Meaning, I don't even know what the thing is, really, or what it does, but I know he wants it.   Unfortunately, it hasn't arrived in the mail yet and I'm afraid it won't get here tomorrow and it will be belated.

 

lucifugous likes this.
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#42 of 50 Old 07-25-2011, 12:47 PM
 
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smile.gif  I think I've met someone I really connect with!  Actually I've known him for a couple years and always thought he was a great guy but never thought of him as anything but a friend.  Last week were out with a bunch of friends and suddenly there was incredible chemistry between us.  We talked a bunch and danced together at a band we were all seeing.  We hung out again Sat (with a group of people again) and have been texting and are going out for a beer after work tonight.  He is my age, has 2 kids, is good friends with his ex-wife, does all the outdoor activities that I do...

 

The only weird thing is that he is a friend of my ex-husb and his ex-wife is a friend of mine (I think I've mentioned that I live in a small town and have a close-knit group of friends- yep).  Both of our exes were out both nights we hung out and they both noticed the chemistry between us.  My ex is fine (we are more like brother and sister and always were which is why we are not together any more) and I had a long talk about it with his ex Sat night... I told her if there is even one ounce of weirdness or if she isn't ok with it I will absolutely not even consider anything.  She is great and said she would rather see him with someone like me than the crazy girl he was seeing (they've been split up for about 3 years).

 

I want to take this sloooowly and be very careful because of the situation.  I also don't want to become the topic of gossip in our group so I'm keeping anything that does happen beyond friendship on the dl for now.

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#43 of 50 Old 07-27-2011, 07:07 AM
 
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So, um, I guess I'm back here, and it's not a good thing.

 

I think my one year relationship with Saxman is going down the tubes. I don't quite know what to do next. I've never been good at breaking up with people. How do I do it?

 

We haven't spoken since a long volley of emails yesterday afternoon. We were supposed to go visit his parents' cabin on Saturday but as things stand, I don't think I want to go.

 

I'm just so very sad. I really thought he was going to be "the one", but after much discussion, I've come to realize that we don't want the same things and that he is *petrified* of change of any kind. There's also this weird kind of loyalty going on with his family, but it's more like...he's looking for a way to please them by bending over backwards for them....Anyway, I feel like I need to break it off to protect DD who's already super attached to him. She's only 3 now and hopefully she won't remember him in a few years.

 

Man, I'm so blue today.

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#44 of 50 Old 07-28-2011, 02:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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((hugs))) to you, Halfasianmomma.

This is tough, I'm sure.

 

anyone who wants to vent or whine or muse off the publicness of this forum is free to join up with me and a dozen or two other single mamas, by the way, in case there are still those of you who haven't asked me about joining....

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#45 of 50 Old 07-30-2011, 06:44 PM
 
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I'm feeling for you, Halfasianmomma. I'm trying to decide whether to break up with someone now too.

What do you do when you are in a relationship that you know just can't last? Jump ship before you get too attached or keep sailing until you hit the rocks?

I'm so torn about this guy I've been seeing. The only time we have to be together is every other Saturday and after 2am a couple of nights per week. I'm beginning to get sleep deprived and once I start teaching in the fall, we will be left with only every other Saturday. And the reason we can't be together more is because of my kid schedule combined with his two low-paying crappy jobs. He says he's looking for a better one, so he can work less hours, but it's not gonna happen anytime soon, if ever, and obviously my kids aren't going anywhere. I really enjoy him, look forward to being with him, have lost all interest in other men, and am in daily contact with him.

What to do, what to do.
I hate this.

Rainbow.gif ~ Molly
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#46 of 50 Old 07-30-2011, 10:43 PM
 
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Well, just under the wire for the July thread, the Flame called today. It was a bad time to talk and why do I always answer my phone anyway duh.gif...

 

I couldn't help but blurt out, "so when we hang up I can't help but wonder... am I not going to hear from you for a month and a half again?" and I hate that I exaggerated (it's been a month since solid contact) and he took it in stride & said he'd call within the next few days. I also hate that I blurted random details about my morning when he asked what was going on, since I was not expecting the call and didn't have a synopsis of the month prepared :P. Meanwhile I've been seeing a couple other guys, one casual from way back (intelligent, miserable, lasts all night then goes home to sleep) and one new interest (lives right in the neighborhood, works second shift but it could be great schedule-wise with the alignment of our nontraditional weekends, seems willing to take it slowly) but there is no way I'm telling this one off because among the three (and heck comparing him to anyone else I've seen lately) he so takes the cake, lol. But he lives a bit far and he's clearly prone to becoming absorbed in other things. I don't know, we'll see what happens when we get together again. He definitely inspired some healthy & positive changes for me, so I'm grateful we reconnected, one way or the other. But I had just given up on him and if it's not going anywhere I am unhappy that this phone call has me dwelling on it again.

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#47 of 50 Old 07-31-2011, 05:42 AM
 
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Hi mommas! I am new here, well, sort of. I have been reading for years but never posted because stbx would look at what I was reading on the computer. We have been seperated for 6 months but I am just now moving out, in 1 week!!! So, I finally told some friends about the divorce and that I was moving out and a good friend of mine, we'll call him the anarchist, started texting me and saying how he has had a thing for me for years but because I was married he never said anything. Anyway, we have texted back and forth for 2 weeks every single day. He has asked me out on official dates 3 or 4 times now and I cancel last minute every time. I DO NOT want a relationship right now, but I do want to date.  And things started moving pretty quickly. So, now he hasn't texted me since I last canceled on him a few days ago. I guess I need to let him know that I will go out with him, but that I'm not looking for a commited relationship?? I am so so new to this. I didn't even date really before meeting my stxh.

 

Butterflymom- Is there a more private forum somewhere that I don't know about?

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#48 of 50 Old 07-31-2011, 11:39 AM
 
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Quote:
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Butterflymom- Is there a more private forum somewhere that I don't know about?

 

 


I'd also be interested in a more private forum, not too worried about anyone in particular seeing my posts but you never know!

 

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#49 of 50 Old 07-31-2011, 02:19 PM
 
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I'd also be interested in a more private forum, not too worried about anyone in particular seeing my posts but you never know!

 



Ditto.

 

AFM, I broke it off with Saxman, with many tears and sobs from both of us. It was pretty horrible to see him looking like a lamb being taken to the sacrificial altar, because he knew my mind was made up. The day after the breakup he wrote me some very lovely emails thanking me for all that we have shared and wishing me the best. This has honestly been the best breakup I've ever lived...most of them are chaotic and malicious. It was tough to read those emails and it made me wonder for a few minutes if I'd made the right decision, but I know deep down I had to end the relationship now before we got serious and he moved in. As much as he's a great guy, he's just not ready for family life, and moving in with a mama and her 3 year old generally involves an whole other lifestyle. 

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#50 of 50 Old 08-02-2011, 05:54 AM
 
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Oh my goodness . . . . it's August! I suppose we should get a new thread going . . . .

 

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