He's keeping them from me - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 07-24-2011, 06:33 PM - Thread Starter
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I had to give physical custody to my X so I could leave to go train for a new job. Everything is set in the divorce decree for my visitation and daily contact with the kids. We divorced in April.

My kids were with me 5 1/2 weeks and we had wonderful times together. They cried about going back. (We live 9 hours apart).

Seeing that, I asked X for monthly weekend visitation and he said he had to talk to his attorney about it. Really? And I haven't heard anything since. He absolutely refuses to communicate with me, except to threaten me with contempt with this-that-or-another.

I asked my DD, 10, what he said about visiting next month and she said he told her they'd probably be on vacation. Sure they will.

Also, I call daily at a specific time. He often takes them out of the house and doesn't bring them back until late so I can't talk to them, or tells them to get off the phone when I call bc it's time for dinner or go outside or take your pick. He never gives them privacy to talk to me. There was one morning my DD called out of the blue and we all talked 45 mins bc neither he nor his live-in gf was around.

We usually Skype but my DD put a virus on her computer - the X fixed it but has not "gotten around" to reinstalling Skype so the kids and I can have face to face time.

After our weeks together, I've called and can tell the kids are different, like they don't want to talk to me. Our conversations last maybe 5 mins. My DS, 4, used to fight his sister for the phone  but he's only given me a couple of sentences of conversation since.

Yes, I've already filed with the court & the judge ordered us to have a meeting. I tried to impress that he has agreed to things with me but the renigs and says if the judge hasn't ordered it, he doesn't have to do it.

Part of why I opted for this arrangement is to get the kids out of the middle but it seems far worse now. I can tell they're being manipulated and I am beyond frustrated and angry.

And I just needed to vent. I have been on the verge of tears for a week now at the situation since they left here.

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#2 of 5 Old 07-24-2011, 08:08 PM
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I have custodial custody of my dd.  But recently I was told by the atty gen in my state that they will not enforce a custody agreement.  They enforce the financial aspect, but not the visitation.  In my case I asked 'If I tell him he can't see her  what will happen."  They told me that if he calls them and says "She wont let me see her." They would tell him to hire an atty.  They dont enforce visitation. 


My advice is to change your custody agreement on the basis that you are done with training.  It might be hard to get a court to agree if the kids are doing well.  Hire an atty!

Mama of 1!
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#3 of 5 Old 07-25-2011, 09:31 AM
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I wouldn't expect the AG's office to enforce visitation, but if you have a custody agreement that has parenting time specified, the police will likely enforce it. I've known people  to involve the police in custody exchanges here with success.


I realize that this wasn't exactly the question that was asked, but if the paper work says that one parent gets, for example, Memorial Day weekend and the other parent won't release the child, the police *can* get involved.

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#4 of 5 Old 07-25-2011, 09:47 AM
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I remember before you actually left. You knew it was a possibility he would do this. I would file to modify custody and contempt of court. You were the moving party and you did leave him with physical custody which is not on your favor. However him being unreasonable with visits and phone calls will be in your favor. Are you almost done with job training? When is the court meeting?
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#5 of 5 Old 08-29-2011, 07:36 PM
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My lawyer gave xdh temp custody and it took me over 2 years to get them back... it was heart breaking... Good luck mama.




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