How long before you were ready for a serious relationship? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 07-31-2011, 11:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Background: I am 25, was married 5 years and separated right after my son was born (he is just over 2). I have been separated/divorced for 2 years. I am not "needy" (as in, I am financially stable and my son already has his grandfather as a father figure).

 

I am curious... how long after your separation/divorce did you feel "ready" to be in a serious relationship again? What helped you determine your readiness? I am currently dating for fun without commitment, just to get to see what I like (or don't like) in a man. It seems the less available I am, the more and more dates I get asked on and they seem to want me to commit pretty soon even when I am BLUNT and say I am NOT getting into a relationship! I don't feel ready for the next man I meet to be my last relationship for life, but I also know I probably want at least one more baby and I have some time...

 

So how do you know? I wish I could make myself feel ready because I have met some great guys...

 

 

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#2 of 5 Old 07-31-2011, 12:13 PM
 
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For me, it was about 2 years after separation (and 1 1/2 years before divorce 2whistle.gif) I felt the same way as you, I started dating to see what it was like and have some fun... when I met DH, things changed. When you meet the right person, you just know... dating will lose it's shiny, you'll be having more fun with him! You will just sort of evolve into the relationship.

 

Being true to yourself is important, if someone is willing to step beyond expressing their feelings to pressuring you to commit, that's not right! If you think your past is stunting you in new relationships, then some counseling sessions might help, but it sounds more like you know what you want and someone is trying to make you doubt yourself.


~Teresa, raising DS (Jan. 02) and DD1 (Jun. 04) and DD2 (Dec. 11) with DH.

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#3 of 5 Old 07-31-2011, 07:44 PM
 
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1 year.  This is for many many reasons which I won't get into online, but definitely a year after he left I have been ready to do this.


fambedsingle2.gifnovaxnocirc.gifHappy to be a mommy and teacher to D fencing.gif, born 1-17-06 via waterbirth.jpg  and A  blahblah.gif, born 10-6-08 with a homebirth.jpghomeschool.gif

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#4 of 5 Old 08-01-2011, 02:30 AM
 
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When I met the right guy. I wasn't really looking for a relationship, I was just kind of dating, but then I met my guy and that all changed.

 

Time wise it was just over a year, almost a year and a half after we separated before I started dating again.


It's complicated.
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#5 of 5 Old 08-03-2011, 07:10 PM
 
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It's been 4 years and 5 months and I am still not ready.

We tried to work on things, it didn't work.

I really want my divorce before I start something new.

Maybe next year.  Or tomorrow if I fall in love.

I am so glad I waited, it wouldn't have been pretty to drag some dude through my divorce drama.

and there's always drama.


8 might be enough
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