And so the battle begins.... - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 12 Old 08-17-2011, 09:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
floss&ferd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,513
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 11 Post(s)

 

 

It is so difficult to give up the hope for an amicable divorce.  We are both adults.   There is no substance abuse issues.  We are both employed, etc.  But he has decided to make it as "difficult as possible".  

 

And plans to run up huge attorney bills because we are going to be "financially ruined so we might as well be in debt too".

 

Yes, I am the one who filed for divorce.  Yes, I understand that it is a very painful time for him.

 

But I filed the end of May.  It's been three months.  He decides to FINALLY hire and attorney and ask for a continuance 4 days before the court date.  He is going to change his mind on EVERY single item on the provisional agreement that I already paid MY attorney to prepare and file and that he willingly signed.

 

It's been three months and he still refuses to move out of the house that he has repeatedly stated he doesn't want and cannot afford to keep.

 

He sends me multiple text messages/emails every day about how I'm ruining his life, the kids life, etc.  He goes through all of my personal belongings including journals, computer history etc.  If he doesn't know where I am, he calls my family to find me.  He's convinced I am having an affair and tells other people that I am.  

 

It just sucks.  


Mama to three crazy kids and one crazier dog.  biggrinbounce.gif

floss&ferd is online now  
#2 of 12 Old 08-17-2011, 11:15 AM
 
sren's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: a woodsy place
Posts: 1,264
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

Sounds you like are approaching this practically while he is approaching it emotionally, using the legal process to kick and scream.  Which absolutely does suck.  My STBX has been doing some of the same things-- taking issue with details that he already agreed to, playing the victim with friends and family (which is priceless, because this is a DV case and I am literally the victim).  It is the last bit of control and power that he has over me.  It is frustrating and expensive (sigh) also really validating.  Through this process he is giving you more information about who he is-- even more than you had three months ago-- and has any of it caused you to doubt your decision? 

That part is a gift.

bananabee likes this.

and then when we get to the ocean
we're gonna take a boat to the end of the world

sren is online now  
#3 of 12 Old 08-17-2011, 03:53 PM
 
zoeyzoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 3,608
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 12 Post(s)

I felt the same way at one point as sren. My ex and I kept agreeing and then he would ask for something new and we would go back to square one.

zoeyzoo is offline  
#4 of 12 Old 08-18-2011, 04:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
floss&ferd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,513
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 11 Post(s)

 

It does help me get over any guilt/doubt issues very quickly!

 

I just keep trying to remind myself that it can't last forever.

 

He does the victim thing too.  He has contacted every single family member with whom I am close---and has now moved on to ones I never discuss personal issues with like my step-sister's husbandROTFLMAO.gif  Thank goodness, he is almost out of people.  Guess the next step is family members who I haven't talked to in years.  (I have a big family.)

 


Mama to three crazy kids and one crazier dog.  biggrinbounce.gif

floss&ferd is online now  
#5 of 12 Old 08-18-2011, 04:05 PM
 
Shiloh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: listening to kriping churckets
Posts: 6,796
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

sucks and blows.


8 might be enough
Shiloh is offline  
#6 of 12 Old 08-20-2011, 08:41 AM
 
crazyms's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Way down south
Posts: 887
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 18 Post(s)

Oh fun... I originally filed for divorce 2 years ago and although mine agreed to everything and signed he wouldn't give me the paperwork I needed to finalize it. I let him choose the child support and visitation and property agreement and yet he didn't want the divorce so he withheld all the documentation and made life difficult. I'm going to refile (since it got dismissed after all this time) in about a week and will hopefully get the divorce this time. It took some time checking out the rules to find a way around it all but I don't think he'll be able to stop me this time.


Michelle mom to DD , DS , & lil DD plus and spending my days
crazyms is online now  
#7 of 12 Old 08-20-2011, 08:45 AM
 
crazyms's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Way down south
Posts: 887
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 18 Post(s)

Oh and mine did the whole getting involved in my life thing too. He started coming out where I work all the time (I bartend and when we were married he hardly ever wanted to step foot in the place... not his scene) and going out with an old friend of mine. He also called or texted all the time and would sometimes just show up on my doorstep since I moved out. He ran around telling people how I was wrong for leaving him that all he did was work hard to take care of me and the kids and I was screwing him over too. Um... I left you the house property household items and all. Got my own place with all new stuff on my own and left because you were cheating and that working hard thing? Then why did I have to work 2 jobs to help take care of it all so that you could keep the job you 'wanted' making nothing. Hm.... okay sure buddy. Gotta love divorces.


Michelle mom to DD , DS , & lil DD plus and spending my days
crazyms is online now  
#8 of 12 Old 08-20-2011, 09:22 AM
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Cover letter he!!
Posts: 6,548
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Keep the text messages, print them out if possible, and document EVERYTHING.

Super~Single~Mama is offline  
#9 of 12 Old 08-21-2011, 07:19 PM
 
Shiloh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: listening to kriping churckets
Posts: 6,796
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

you would think the abusers would grow tired of it all.

the bar was on the ground, stbx is now excavating.


8 might be enough
Shiloh is offline  
#10 of 12 Old 08-22-2011, 07:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
floss&ferd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,513
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 11 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Shiloh View Post

you would think the abusers would grow tired of it all.

the bar was on the ground, stbx is now excavating.


ROTFLMAO.gif  "stbx is now excavating" is the funniest thing i've heard in days.   

 


Mama to three crazy kids and one crazier dog.  biggrinbounce.gif

floss&ferd is online now  
#11 of 12 Old 08-23-2011, 10:18 PM
 
Shiloh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: listening to kriping churckets
Posts: 6,796
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I think he's digging to china.


8 might be enough
Shiloh is offline  
#12 of 12 Old 08-23-2011, 10:42 PM
 
sren's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: a woodsy place
Posts: 1,264
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

BwahahahahahaROTFLMAO.gif


and then when we get to the ocean
we're gonna take a boat to the end of the world

sren is online now  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off