Newly separated, need advice about access of 7 month old please! :) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 08-17-2011, 10:27 AM - Thread Starter
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I need access advice for my 7 month old, can you help??

Bit of background...
I'm 27 years old and have and my partner and I have just decided to separate.

We met and became best friends when we were 11. Over the last 16 years, we have spent 9 years on and off as a couple. Even when we were seeing other people we remained the very best of friends. He is a lovely, lovely man who cares for me very much, but unfortunately we decided we are better off friends than a couple. It is very amicable and all that matters is our daughter. They are very close, he is an amazing, hands on father, I have spent a weekend out of town and he is able to look after her perfectly on his own.

After struggling with post natal depression, I am back at work part time to get some "me time" back. I love my job and the intellectual stimulation is critical for me. My daughter is at daycare while I work and loves it! She will go to anyone, sleep anywhere (12hour nights since 10weeks), and just loves being around people.

We've decided I will move to a 1 bedroom flat at my mother's (temporarily) and my ex will move in to a five bed, three lounge house
with my brother, his partner (a very close friend of mine) and her 2year old. The houses are a 10 minute drive away from eachother.

He has offered to pay for whatever we need and we both want eachother to see our girl as much as possible. We've discussed him having her the night that she's been at daycare seeing as I have tues/thurs with her, "family day" one day a weekend, dinner at their place to feed, bath, bed her with us both there, alternate weekend nights and the freedom to text or call to visit whenever possible.

Due to our history, I know things will remain open, honest and friendly. We've discussed seeing other people and have ground rules for that in relation to our girl.

I welcome all comments and/or suggestions about how to work out access with our baby. Does anyone know what is best for this age? What should we not do? Any sites or books I could look into?

Thanks! smile.gif
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#2 of 2 Old 08-17-2011, 10:45 AM
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I just wanted to say I have a similar relationship w/ my now 'ex' spouse and our 22 mo old. A lot like that. DD goes to his house ON on Sunday's and stays all day Monday (I work M-F and he works evenings sometimes).


R is one of my best friends, and he is awesome. As a partner, there are issues I can't get past. So I have NO fears or concerns about his ability to care for DD. He will grab my other two kids, run them to appts, etc. He comes over one night a week, stays the night and hangs w/ us, DD goes to his house for weekends, etc


I know my DD is older than yours but the overnight is SO nice for me once a week to sleep ALLLL night long. And then 3 weekends a month she goes Sat am - Mon on my way home from work.


I am happy that you two are able to get along so well. It makes life so much easier.

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