Unmarried custody battle... - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 5 Old 08-17-2011, 03:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello,
So I have a 3 month old DD. We(her and I) just got back from visiting my family out of state, and my boyfriend got upset (I'm not even sure why anymore) and told me to move out. He has also told me to be ready for a court battle for custody which probably upset me more than him breaking up with me. I am assuming I can't go home with her without it being abandonment, but does anyone have experience/advice for me since we aren't married? I am living in Texas now.
We are still in the same apartment now, and going to see what we can do (stay together), but I don't have a lot of faith that will happen. :/
Also I am still an out of state resident. Does that make a difference for me getting custody/being able to move her closer to my family?
Thanks for listening, I feel so lost right now, and I am about to take boards and my orals for my masters. greensad.gif
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#2 of 5 Old 08-17-2011, 03:42 PM
 
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I'm not familiar with Texas but one of my first questions is he named on the birth certificate? If not he will likely have to go to court and prove paternity before he could apply for custody/visitation. I would also keep records to things like who does the parenting (i.e., me 70%, him 30%) because in some states that would have some weight on the custodial parent and the time split.

 

Many judges won't see giving an infant huge amounts of time to the father but if that is the case they will expect a visitation schedule that increases with age.

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#3 of 5 Old 08-18-2011, 11:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, he is on the birth certificate. She even has his last name. I REALLY didn't see this coming :/ the part that confuses me is he doesn't do anything to help me with her. I would say we are split 99/1, but to be fair/generous for the occasion that he does hold her for me so I can make dinner I'll say 90/10. He doesn't change diapers or give baths, I'm bf so he's given her a bottle I pumped maybe 10x. I'm a SAHM now which worries me with custody and no income, but I have an interview this week for an actual registered dietitian job, but it is 2 hours away. (and he just told me if I interview for it then he's not sticking around) could he then say I left him w her on my own, and would that affect anything custody wise? I have found a lawyer I'm going to try to talk with this week to determine my rights, and what I can/can't do.
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#4 of 5 Old 08-18-2011, 12:30 PM
 
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The attorney consultation was exactly what I was going to suggest because the courts are all so different. Contact them and get to know your basic rights and what you should be doing now. I know in my situation whoever had more parenting time could have come into play.

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#5 of 5 Old 08-18-2011, 01:47 PM
 
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Find another babysitter for that interview, even if you have to grab a teenager or granny from the neighborhood to bring her along and walk the baby in the stroller outside the building.  Seriously, I would have a hard time trusting that a guy who threatens you like this wouldn't just pick up and leave with her.  Do not leave her with him.  Period.

 

He wants you to skip the interview so that you remain beholden to him and don't have the means to get your own place and leave.


mama to Joey (1/04) and Teddy (4/08) :
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