How did you tell the kids? DH moving out - Mothering Forums
Single Parenting > How did you tell the kids? DH moving out
mamefati28's Avatar mamefati28 07:23 PM 11-07-2011

My DH and I are splitting up, he is moving out at the end of the month. We are headed towards divorce.

I am handling everything as well as can be expected but feeling sick to my stomach when I think of my sweet 5 yr. old DS and what this means for him.

So, how did you tell your kids?

Any advice on the initial conversation, etc. is super appreciated.


NolaRiordan's Avatar NolaRiordan 11:57 AM 11-09-2011

So sorry. This was one of the toughest parts of the whole process for me. Will your STBX participate in the talk with your DS? Everything I read said it's best if you can do it that way. In my case my X refused to participate so I had to do it alone. I chose to take them to a park to have the talk. They played first and then we sat on a bench and talked. Mine were 5 and 8 at the time. I said that daddy and I had not been getting along and that we had decided the best thing for our family was for the 2 of us to live in separate homes and that they would spend time with us in each place. I had read to keep it simple and age appropriate and not to use the word "divorce" because that's the legal term, but to keep it in terms of how their lives would be effected. My DS immediately said he wanted to live with me and I said they would be spending time with both of us. My DD asked if daddy and I loved each other any more and that's when I lost it and when I started to cry they started to cry. Anyway as time went on they asked some more practical questions like would they have a room at each place, what toys. furniture, etc, would they have a the new place, could we get a pet. All in all it went as well as could be expected. There are some kids books on divorce that might be good to have after the fact as well. Good luck. This is a HUGE hurdle to get over.