Lost friends and family in the breakup... feeling down - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 12-05-2011, 01:39 PM - Thread Starter
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In the process of this long and contentious breakup, I've lost most of my friends and family. Mostly, it's been because XP has been badmouthing me to everyone we know (then the next day tries to get back together with me, go figure). I've been able to make a couple new friends and am supported by my parents but it's still really hard! Being the "bad guy" with everyone I used to consider close has been really tough too! I guess I just need to complain a bit and commiserate. It's great to know other mamas are out there going through similar things. TIA!

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#2 of 8 Old 12-05-2011, 02:34 PM
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hugs. Quite honestly if they are silly and shallow enough to listen to your ex, ot look at what they know, they are not worthy of being called friends. Now is when true friends come out of the woodwork, or are made, and your ife will be better off for it!

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#3 of 8 Old 12-05-2011, 07:15 PM
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That happened with friends in my previous state (where ex still lives and the venue in which he sued me).  I have repaired a few of the relationships, but many bought into my ex's exaggerations and outright lies.  Sux.

Mom to two terrific kiddos, affirming every day that the Universe is unfolding as it should and all is well...

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#4 of 8 Old 12-07-2011, 02:23 PM
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SAHM to DD born 12/09 
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#5 of 8 Old 12-15-2011, 07:50 AM
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Yeah, me too.  Friends of 20 years bought his lies.  idk, it is really hard to make new friends at 40, everyone is so wrapped up in their own lives...

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#6 of 8 Old 12-15-2011, 10:00 AM
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It's so hard to be the bad guy, especially when you're not.  In my experience, the people who are talking will eventually see the truth.  The difficult part is waiting for that to happen, but it always does!!  Hang in there!  smile.gif

Carol Lozierjoy.gif

Author of "The Adoptive & Foster Parents Guide: How to Heal Your Child's Trauma and Loss"


Find more information and support at www.forever-families.com

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#7 of 8 Old 12-29-2011, 11:39 PM - Thread Starter
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Thank you so much mamas! I feel so much better having the support here :) It IS hard to be the bad guy, especially when my only motivation is the health and happiness of DS. True friends have been coming out of the woodwork and the rest, I'm finding, weren't real friends to begin with. Thanks again, your support is huge! :)

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#8 of 8 Old 01-05-2012, 09:57 PM
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Hang in there. Trust what your gut is telling you is true about yourself. I went through a similar thing in my divorce, and know how hard it can be without your usual support network. Trust that you will get through this, it sounds like you have your parents. Those other friendships may come back overtime. Focus on taking care of you and your kiddo. Stay on your path to health and happiness, and things will get better.

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