Christmas gift for your ex? - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 6 Old 12-12-2011, 06:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
mamatoemily's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 47
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

My husband and I have been separated since April and will be getting a divorce.  Lately he has been indirectly trying to win me back, even though he lives with his new GF.  He bought me an expensive gift for Christmas (which he already gave me), under the guise that it is from our DD to me.  I am not sure what the etiquette is on gift for Christmas for your ex's.  His GF does not know he bought me anything because she would not approve (she doesn't even want us talking...but that's another issue).  I had some professional pictures done of my DD for her 1 yr birthday, so had planned to get one of the pictures printed off and put it in a nice frame for him "from her."  But, now that he gave me this gift I feel like I am supposed to do more?  I feel conflicted...part of me would like to be nice and guy a nice gift, but the other part wants to be appropriate and doesn't want to give him the wrong message.  My BF says that just the picture is enough.  I know I shouldn't compare money spent, but I suppose I am.....Thoughts?

mamatoemily is offline  
#2 of 6 Old 12-12-2011, 07:54 AM
 
doubledutch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 4,600
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

you should stick to your plan.  when your dd is old enough, you could also let her pick out something small (like under $20).

doubledutch is offline  
#3 of 6 Old 12-12-2011, 08:52 AM
 
DCMama01's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 480
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I think the picture (or nothing at all) will suffice. He lives with his new GF. She can worry about buying him a gift. Buy yourself something nice instead!


First-time mama due on Dec 3rd 2009!
Update: Baby girl born Nov 19th!
DCMama01 is offline  
#4 of 6 Old 12-13-2011, 03:34 AM
 
mamatoady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Western Michigan
Posts: 1,924
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Your daughter is 1 year old?  I wouldn't worry about it.  The picture is enough (without a frame).  When she is a little older you can do your part as parent to help her come up with gifts for others...this might include making something or a low cost item (as you might do for a school friend).  You can encourage your daughter to come up with something to give as you would for friends, aunts, uncles etc., but NOT NOT NOT your responsibility to make sure your daughter has something amazing (or anything at all) for her dad for Christmas, his birthday, father's day etc....start now what you want to carry out for the next 17 years.

 

Sarah


Mama to girl (11), boy (7) and girl (4).  "Can't we all just get along?" joy.gif
mamatoady is offline  
#5 of 6 Old 12-14-2011, 10:51 AM
 
captain optimism's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Good Ship Lollipop
Posts: 7,462
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 19 Post(s)


It occurs to me that if he decides he's not interested in winning you back, he might try to claim that the expensive gift is part of child/spousal support. Please keep the gift receipt, if there is one, in case he attempts this. 

 

Do not buy him a fancy present. You can see yourself how confusing it is to get an expensive gift from your ex who is living with a new partner. 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamatoemily View Post

My husband and I have been separated since April and will be getting a divorce.  Lately he has been indirectly trying to win me back, even though he lives with his new GF.  He bought me an expensive gift for Christmas (which he already gave me), under the guise that it is from our DD to me.  I am not sure what the etiquette is on gift for Christmas for your ex's.  His GF does not know he bought me anything because she would not approve (she doesn't even want us talking...but that's another issue).  I had some professional pictures done of my DD for her 1 yr birthday, so had planned to get one of the pictures printed off and put it in a nice frame for him "from her."  But, now that he gave me this gift I feel like I am supposed to do more?  I feel conflicted...part of me would like to be nice and guy a nice gift, but the other part wants to be appropriate and doesn't want to give him the wrong message.  My BF says that just the picture is enough.  I know I shouldn't compare money spent, but I suppose I am.....Thoughts?



 


Divorced mom of one awesome boy born 2-3-2003.
captain optimism is offline  
#6 of 6 Old 12-15-2011, 05:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
mamatoemily's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 47
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Thanks ladies....I am just going to continue as planned and give him the photograph :)

mamatoemily is offline  
Reply

Tags
Single Parenting

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off