I'm pregnant I want to have the baby, daddy wants nothing to do with it... can I adopt the child fully? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 01-11-2012, 04:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm 6 weeks pregnant, I'm a single mom already, I have decided I really want to have this child but the father wants nothing to do with it.  Can he be absolved of his responsibility (and rights) and I adopt the child fully.  This sounds odd to me, but I have a rocky relationship with my 4yo dd's birth dad and I think it would be easier for both of us at this point to just let this be me decision.  Has anyone ever heard of this being done?  

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#2 of 11 Old 01-11-2012, 07:46 AM
 
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I would think you could do that if the father is willing to give up his rights.  The law varies from state to state, so you might want to get in touch with a family law attorney.

 

Good luck with the pregnancy and the legal stuff.

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#3 of 11 Old 01-11-2012, 07:54 AM
 
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Are you married to the father? If not, then don't put his name on the birth certificate, and then he has no responsibility or rights to the child. If you put him on the birth certificate (automatic if you are married, if you are not most states will require an Acknowledgment of Paternity be signed by both parents), then the state will be HIGHLY unlikely to allow him to terminate his rights voluntarily. This is a policy issue that recognizes the right of the child to receive monetary support from each parent, and if parents are allowed to voluntarily terminate parental rights then the child does not have that monetary support (basically, the govt doesn't want to pay for kids whose parents just terminate their rights). Now, if your ex goes on the BC, but then you get remarried and that person wants to legally adopt the child, the birth father can terminate his rights concurrently with that occurring.

 

Come on over and check out the Single Parenting board! You will get many more responses over there, since this is not an adoption issue (you can't adopt your own child!).

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#4 of 11 Old 01-11-2012, 08:02 AM
 
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Come visit us at the single mom forum!!!  You do not need to adopt your child but you can not put him on birth certificate- tho he will still be required to pay child support if you tell social services( if you get those services) who he is. You don't have to tell them tho

It is not up to him whether you have this baby or not and his interaction if he does not want it will be up to him and you in the future.

You do not have to adopt your own child!!!!  CONGRATS on the pregnancy hope everything works out great for you.

Please come see us on the single mom board.


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#5 of 11 Old 01-11-2012, 08:02 AM
 
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lol i did not see ssm posts lol. :) we basically said same thing


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#6 of 11 Old 01-11-2012, 08:03 AM
 
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OH this is ONLY your decision- it is NOT his. DO not terminate a pg because the dad wants you to!!! You will regret it for the REST OF YOUR LIFE!


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#7 of 11 Old 01-15-2012, 11:24 AM
 
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Each state has different ways of handling this, but yes in general you can simply opt not to put his name on the birth certificate and that will generally absolve him of financial responsibilities. However, that's not a sure-fire method of reaching your goals.

 

Things to consider:

- Who provides for the child if something happens to you?

- Will the father's mind change after he sees the baby? Will he want partial custody or visitation rights?

- Are there other parties whose rights may be affected (paternal grandparents, for example)?

 

You may want to speak to a lawyer to figure out all the details. He should also speak to a lawyer.

 

Update: why is this in adoption/foster parenting? This issue belongs elsewhere unless you're interested in making an adoption plan for your child. If that's the case, it's best to get the father's approval, though it may not be strictly legally mandated in every state.

 

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#8 of 11 Old 01-15-2012, 01:45 PM
 
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You do not need to adopt your own child. I am moving this to Single Parenting for the best advice.


 
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#9 of 11 Old 01-17-2012, 04:25 PM
 
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If you can support youself then all you would need to do is not put the father's name on the birth certificate and give your baby your last name. If you can't support yourself it gets difficult. The state doesn't want to give a mom benefits for her child if they could collect from the dad. They make mothers disclose who the father is. He would probably request a paternity test. When it was determined he is the father; support, visitation, and custody would become involved. A state wouldn't want to let a father terminate his rights if they want him to pay support.

 

If you know you don't want the father involved it is important for the child that you don't name them after the father (Jr.) or give them the father's last name. You can give the baby your last name.


: Grandmother , 3 Adult Sons

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#10 of 11 Old 01-18-2012, 04:30 PM
 
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Please remember that someday this child will want to know who his/her father is.  Even if they are not involved from a young age.


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#11 of 11 Old 01-18-2012, 04:51 PM
 
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My mom knew that my father wouldn't be a good father and he agreed. She never put him on my birth certificate. He asked her once if he could see me, she said yes, he never came around anyway. When I was about 2 1/2, 3 years old, my dad adopted me with absolutely no fuss. I'm happy my my mom didn't try to force my bio-dad into being a father to a child he didn't want. I know my life was better without him. If he's not on the birth certificate, then he's not legally the father and has nothing to do with your kid. 

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