Considering one bedroom apartment with 3 year old son - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 01-11-2012, 10:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am recently divorced and live in CA where rent is very high. Really all I can afford right now is a one-bedroom apartment, and I'm wondering about the ethics and do-ability of this living situation.

 

Any other single moms ever had to share a one bedroom apartment with their kiddos? How does that work? Things to look for? Suggestions?

 

Thanks!

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#2 of 14 Old 01-11-2012, 03:42 PM
 
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I have a one bedroom right now. My ds and I have lived in a 1br since I became single 2 years ago, except for a short time that we lived with family.
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#3 of 14 Old 01-11-2012, 04:25 PM
 
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You can share a room for now. As he approaches school age, give him the bedroom and get yourself a Murphy bed in the main living area.
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#4 of 14 Old 01-12-2012, 01:37 PM
 
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If you share with another mom, maybe you could afford more space. Check out coabode.com.

 

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#5 of 14 Old 01-14-2012, 01:43 PM
 
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When I was kid we live in a one bedroom for a while.  My mom, my brother and I.  It was kinda an emergency situation.  other than that we lived in a two bedroom until we were teenagers.  My brother and I each had a room and my mom slept in the living room.  Then when we were 11 and 13 we moved to a three bedroom.  

 

The only thing to consider is renting laws where you live.  We were in once city that would not rent an efficiency to two adults.  Even though we were married.  and many will not rent a one bedroom to a mother and child.  They are dumb rules but....


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#6 of 14 Old 01-17-2012, 02:35 AM
 
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#7 of 14 Old 01-17-2012, 10:00 AM
 
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There really is no ethical problem at all.  People all over the world live with full families in one bedroom accomodations.  You do what you have to do.   I think it's nice for kids when they get older (4th, 5th grade) to have their own "space" but certainly at age 3 this is not a problem at all.  I live in a very small 2 bedroom apt with my 5 year old, but most nights he prefers to sleep in my room anyway. 

 

You do what you have to do!


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#8 of 14 Old 01-17-2012, 03:35 PM
 
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I would call the state CPS and see what they say. Since it is California I doubt there would be a problem. I lived in Indiana when my boys were small and there mothers had to have a 2 bed room apartment in university housing and section 8. There could have easily been problems in most areas of Indiana with CPS just because a mother shared a one bedroom apartment.

 

I moved to Arizona and called CPS and they said that because of the influence of people from Mexico it was common for more people to live in multi-generational situations and for more people to share apartments. AZ didn't have any specific rules. When we moved to NV I called CPS and there are no CPS rules but there are city codes.

 

You might want to check with CPS and city codes.


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#9 of 14 Old 01-22-2012, 11:57 PM
 
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My ds is 9 months right now but I imagine we will be sharing a bedroom for quite a while!

I agree with the mama who said to check out coabode.com.. its a great resource. also, get on the waiting lists for all the low-income housing in your area (if that applies to you). sometimes the wait-lists are crazy long but by the time your name comes up you might be in the perfect position to move in. If you want any more info PM me :)

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#10 of 14 Old 01-26-2012, 03:52 PM
 
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I don't see any problems with it.  My youngest is 4 and she still co-sleeps most nights anyway so she wouldn't know what to do with her own room.  But I am mom to 3 ages 11, 7, and 4 and they all sleep in one bedroom.  It's all we can afford and honestly, I think it works well.  They do get on each other's nerves sometimes but for the most part I think they enjoy having each other around.


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#11 of 14 Old 05-22-2012, 11:34 AM
 
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just wondering if you found out for sure if you can rent a one bedroom apartment with your son?  

Im a single mother with a 9 year old son and i plan on moving to California next summer....I plan on giving my son the bedroom while I sleep in the living room.  

California is very expensive to find a decent 2 bedroom i will be spending thousands just in rent!!

 

Anyone know for sure if its legal?

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#12 of 14 Old 05-22-2012, 11:55 AM
 
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It's legal where I live. I share a 1BR + den with my 3yo ds (we share the BR, the den isn't appropriate for a BR)

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#13 of 14 Old 07-10-2012, 07:05 AM
 
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I am planning on sharing 1 bedroom with my son as well. It will be in a 2 bedroom apartment with my sister. I don't mind the space being limited- I lived in Asia for years and people are always sharing there. It's only cultural to feel weird about this, honest. (: 


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#14 of 14 Old 07-10-2012, 08:32 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iris8 View Post

just wondering if you found out for sure if you can rent a one bedroom apartment with your son?  

Im a single mother with a 9 year old son and i plan on moving to California next summer....I plan on giving my son the bedroom while I sleep in the living room.  

California is very expensive to find a decent 2 bedroom i will be spending thousands just in rent!!

 

Anyone know for sure if its legal?

 

My ds is 9 years old and shares a room with me.  I have a very large bedroom though, so we can easily fit both queen and twin size beds in there with lots of room to spare.  I also live in CA.  

 

Apartment complexes can deem how many people can live in an apartment and the 'general law' in CA is a 2 + 1 ratio (2 people per bedroom, 1 per living room), but it varies greatly with each complex.  And, unless the child is under the jurisdiction of the juvenile dependency court (such as foster kids), CPS doesn't care.   I work frequently with two local CA county CPS agencies and have worked with them on cases where the amount of people/kids in a room is significantly higher and they don't bat an eye.  

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