Ten years ago, I adopted 3 children from the state of Florida. At the time, they were as follows: a boy (6), a girl (4), and a baby that was 6months. Then, little things started happening like her knowledge of giving me head lice at age 4! She began smoking in 6th grade, she is experimenting with drugs of all kinds from marijuana to blues and roxies! I believe she is still doing all of these and now adding drinking into the equation. I am looking to the courts for either the Marchman Act or the Baker Act but don't know which one to use. if anyone can give me some direction, I would greatly appreciate the help!! Thank you
Your local community behavioral health center should be able to do a screening eval for her to determine what services would be best for her, either mental health or substance abuse, or likely both. If you need referral info united way usually has a hotline for local resources, I think it's usually 211. But if you are genuinely afraid she will hurt herself or others I would contact the police and not worry about the difference between marchman or baker acts. Although I believe it's much more difficult to get a marchman order. You might also still be able to get some help if she was adopted with the help of an agency.
I'm sorry you're in such a tough situation and I hope you can get your daughter the help she needs.
What kind of counseling/treatment options have you looked into? There could be lots and lots of reasons for her behavior. As parents, regardless of how our children come to us, we must often face difficult situations with mental illness, physical illnesses or just bad behavior. as soon as egg meets sperm there are a million and one potential life changing defects lining up waiting to attack our dreams of blissful parenthood. Writing her off as a sociopath seems harsh. As for getting her help she doesn't want, she is a minor. It should not be hard to get her some inpatient help if that is what she needs even if it is against her will.
The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it. We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.
Do you really think a four year old intentionally gave you head lice? Or even knowingly?
Holly and David
Adaline (3/20/10), and Charlie (1/26/12- 4/10/12) and our identical twins Callie and Wendy (01/04/13)
I can totally see a 4 year old giving someone lice but I don't think it sounds sociopathic. I'm sure the op has other reasons but I wonder if she is considering anything other than her dd being a sociopath.
I am sorry you're having these issues with your daughter. However, for you to walk out on her at a time in her life where she needs a stable parent is definitely not the answer. I would suggest you seeking help from professionals on how to handle her during this rough time would be far more advisable than trying to find a way to give her up.
As Adaline'sMama said, I was into drugs, smoking and drinking at a young age as well, but that doesn't make me a sociopath by any stretch of the imagination. On the contrary, I did these things to try and escape my intense emotions, and did not do them as a result of having none. I outgrew it. I'm guessing that with help, she can too.
And as another poster mentioned, if you're truly afraid she is going to hurt you, herself or someone else, call your local mental health authority for advice.
Certified Crazy™ Wife to my Spiderman husband (Aug '01)
Super proud Momma to DD (Jan'00), DD (Apr '02) and DS (Jun '04)
Always loving and missing our Baby James born sleeping at 19 weeks (July '03).
OMG. I just have to pipe in here that I have two freshmen and a 7th-grader and I absolutely do not think smoking cigarettes, much less pot - or taking pills - is normal behavior for a 6th grader!
I'm not saying the OP's daughter is necessarily a sociopath because she does these things. Nor am I necessarily advocating her giving up the child.
But I do not think it's fair to dismiss her concerns altogether, by saying it's normal behavior. Although various members may have done these things when they were young, their parents may have been quite distressed by it...and if their own children wind up doing these things, they may find themselves distressed about it, too. I definitely would be upset about this!
Moreover, her post was very short. We don't know what other details contributed to her use of the word "sociopath". Technically, the term refers to someone who ignores society's rules and shows a lack of concern for the effect her actions have on other people. In general, this applies to plenty of teenagers. Therefore I prefer the term not be used lightly, but I do sometimes see it used to refer, in general, to lawbreakers. And a 6th grader using illegal drugs is breaking laws - not to mention disobeying her mother.
OP, I certainly hope you explore every possible avenue for counseling or even inpatient treatment, if appropriate, before relinquishing your parental rights. I can only try to imagine how upsetting it would be, to be in your shoes and have such a child on my hands. But it is easy for me to imagine the life-long detrimental impact for a girl in 6th grade (12 or 13 years old?) to have lost/been taken away from/been abandoned by her parents as a toddler, to be adopted...then to be "given back" - especially knowing you kept the two other children you adopted. I think she would never fully recover from that, emotionally. Whereas, there's every hope in the world that she can recover from awful behavior she's exhibiting during puberty.
One woman in a house full of men: my soul mate: or... twin sons:(HS seniors) ... step-son: (a sophomore) ... our little man: (a first grader) ... and there is another female in the house, after all: our.
Holly and David
I hope the OP didn't give up on her daughter, although it seems she has her mind set on her view of her. I tried to smoke a cigarette in the 6th grade, and a lot of my friends did weird stuff too. And being a teen girl is definitely a roller coaster that not all handle well. Hormones, boys, identity issues... be her support.
mama to (09/11)