I have a sociopathic child & I am afraid - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 13 Old 01-18-2012, 08:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ten years ago, I adopted 3 children from the state of Florida. At the time, they were as follows:  a boy (6), a girl (4), and a baby that was 6months. Then, little things started happening like her knowledge of giving me head lice at age 4! She began smoking in 6th grade, she is experimenting with drugs of all kinds from marijuana to blues and roxies! I believe she is still doing all of these and now adding drinking into the equation. I am looking to the courts for either the Marchman Act or the Baker Act but don't know which one to use. if anyone can give me some direction, I would greatly appreciate the help!! Thank you

 

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#2 of 13 Old 01-18-2012, 09:13 PM
 
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Your local community behavioral health center should be able to do a screening eval for her to determine what services would be best for her, either mental health or substance abuse, or likely both. If you need referral info united way usually has a hotline for local resources, I think it's usually 211. But if you are genuinely afraid she will hurt herself or others I would contact the police and not worry about the difference between marchman or baker acts. Although I believe it's much more difficult to get a marchman order. You might also still be able to get some help if she was adopted with the help of an agency. 

 

I'm sorry you're in such a tough situation and I hope you can get your daughter the help she needs. 

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#3 of 13 Old 01-19-2012, 07:57 AM
 
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What makes you think your child is a sociopath?  Has she been evaluated for bipolar or anything else?

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#4 of 13 Old 01-19-2012, 02:35 PM
 
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What kind of counseling/treatment options have you looked into?  There could be lots and lots of reasons for her behavior.  As parents, regardless of how our children come to us, we must often face difficult situations with mental illness, physical illnesses or just bad behavior.  as soon as egg meets sperm there are a million and one potential life changing defects lining up waiting to attack our dreams of blissful parenthood.  Writing her off as a sociopath seems harsh.  As for getting her help she doesn't want, she is a minor.  It should not be hard to get her some inpatient help if that is what she needs even if it is against her will.


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#5 of 13 Old 01-19-2012, 05:01 PM
 
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I think this should be moved to Foster/Adopt.

none of that seems abnormal to me, but maybe I'm missing something?

It's not ideal, I'll agree, but it's not abnormal either

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#6 of 13 Old 01-19-2012, 06:05 PM
 
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I'm pretty sure I smoked cigarettes in the sixth grade. I know I was smoking pot and tripping on LOTS of acid at 14, but I have no idea what "blues and roxies" are. Your kid is experimenting with drugs, that doesnt make her a sociopath. If you are worried about her mental health, I would take her to see a counselor. If you are worried about her substance abuse and her behavioral problems, I would try to be as open as possible and see if she will talk to you about what she has been doing. Where is she getting the money to buy the drugs (or how is she getting them?). My concern would lie in that realm of thought (the how or what is she doing to get drugs given to her) more so than the idea that she is a sociopath. Im pretty sure that if my your description you think she is a sociopath, you would think about half of every teen I know is a sociopath.

Do you really think a four year old intentionally gave you head lice? Or even knowingly?

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#7 of 13 Old 01-20-2012, 10:16 AM
 
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I can totally see a 4 year old giving someone lice but I don't think it sounds sociopathic.  I'm sure the op has other reasons but I wonder if she is considering anything other than her dd being a sociopath.  

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#8 of 13 Old 01-20-2012, 10:28 AM
 
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I am adopted and extremely offended by this post.

 

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#9 of 13 Old 01-23-2012, 12:48 PM
 
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I am sorry you're having these issues with your daughter. However, for you to walk out on her at a time in her life where she needs a stable parent is definitely not the answer. I would suggest you seeking help from professionals on how to handle her during this rough time would be far more advisable than trying to find a way to give her up.

 

As Adaline'sMama said, I was into drugs, smoking and drinking at a young age as well, but that doesn't make me a sociopath by any stretch of the imagination. On the contrary, I did these things to try and escape my intense emotions, and did not do them as a result of having none.  I outgrew it. I'm guessing that with help, she can too.

 

And as another poster mentioned, if you're truly afraid she is going to hurt you, herself or someone else, call your local mental health authority for advice.


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#10 of 13 Old 02-12-2012, 06:45 AM
 
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Are blues and roxies some kind of pill?

 

Sounds like normal teenager behavior.  Are you leaving out any details?  Is she killing animals? Hitting you? Stealing your credit cards?

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#11 of 13 Old 02-12-2012, 04:43 PM
 
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OMG.  I just have to pipe in here that I have two freshmen and a 7th-grader and I absolutely do not think smoking cigarettes, much less pot - or taking pills - is normal behavior for a 6th grader!  

 

I'm not saying the OP's daughter is necessarily a sociopath because she does these things.  Nor am I necessarily advocating her giving up the child.

 

But I do not think it's fair to dismiss her concerns altogether, by saying it's normal behavior.  Although various members may have done these things when they were young, their parents may have been quite distressed by it...and if their own children wind up doing these things, they may find themselves distressed about it, too.  I definitely would be upset about this!

 

Moreover, her post was very short.  We don't know what other details contributed to her use of the word "sociopath".  Technically, the term refers to someone who ignores society's rules and shows a lack of concern for the effect her actions have on other people.  In general, this applies to plenty of teenagers.  Therefore I prefer the term not be used lightly, but I do sometimes see it used to refer, in general, to lawbreakers.  And a 6th grader using illegal drugs is breaking laws - not to mention disobeying her mother.

 

OP, I certainly hope you explore every possible avenue for counseling or even inpatient treatment, if appropriate, before relinquishing your parental rights.  I can only try to imagine how upsetting it would be, to be in your shoes and have such a child on my hands.  But it is easy for me to imagine the life-long detrimental impact for a girl in 6th grade (12 or 13 years old?) to have lost/been taken away from/been abandoned by her parents as a toddler, to be adopted...then to be "given back" - especially knowing you kept the two other children you adopted.  I think she would never fully recover from that, emotionally.  Whereas, there's every hope in the world that she can recover from awful behavior she's exhibiting during puberty.

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#12 of 13 Old 03-13-2012, 08:12 AM
 
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I know this is old, but just to clarify the kid is 14, not in 6th grade. The OP stated that she smoked cigarettes in the 6th grade, but everything else is happening now. I do think it is pretty normal for 14 year olds to experiment.

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#13 of 13 Old 03-21-2012, 04:06 AM
 
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I hope the OP didn't give up on her daughter, although it seems she has her mind set on her view of her.  I tried to smoke a cigarette in the 6th grade, and a lot of my friends did weird stuff too.  And being a teen girl is definitely a roller coaster that not all handle well.  Hormones, boys, identity issues... be her support. 


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