Can we altr our custody arangement without court - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 9 Old 02-15-2012, 09:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My X and I originally agreed in mediation for primary custody for me with bi-weekly visits for him and monthly support of $200 since he lived out of town.

Now he is back and we both want to have joint custody, no child support.

Can we write up a contract, haveit signed ad notarized and call it the end, or do we HAVE to go back to court?


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#2 of 9 Old 02-15-2012, 12:09 PM
 
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you can do whatever you want but if you have a fallout or disagreement it wont be enforced without a court order. the court order is basically the "default" agreement. 


  

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#3 of 9 Old 02-15-2012, 12:58 PM
 
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Originally Posted by thatgirliknew View Post

My X and I originally agreed in mediation for primary custody for me with bi-weekly visits for him and monthly support of $200 since he lived out of town.
Now he is back and we both want to have joint custody, no child support.
Can we write up a contract, haveit signed ad notarized and call it the end, or do we HAVE to go back to court?


you can do that, but he should WANT to go to court, so that he isn't held in arrears for not paying child support. You can just write up an agreement and have it signed by a judge most of the time, it doesn't have to be a big thing in court.

 

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#4 of 9 Old 02-15-2012, 01:05 PM
 
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what do you mean by joint custody?  to not have child support you need to have an even 50/50 division of time.

If you don't need the money by all means- but I would go back to court just to have a judge sign it.

 


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#5 of 9 Old 02-16-2012, 06:09 AM
 
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We have written up on our agreement and filed it with the court.  We both went to the court house together.  They notarized it and gave it to the judge.  She signed it which made it an order.

 

If you both agree to no child support then my understanding is the court will let you .


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#6 of 9 Old 02-16-2012, 03:10 PM
 
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The main reason to get the agreement amended would actually be for his protection. Is he paying through an agency or directly to you? Either way, without the agreement change, he could technically be on the hook for arrears. Otherwise, it should be very simple to bring the signed order in, get approval from the judge and get it filed. The only issue would be if you were getting public assistance -- they would want him to be paying child support.

Also, in the new agreement, you may still want to consider how you'll handle expenses related to medical care, child care, and extraordinary or unexpected child-related expenses. Good to have that sorted out ahead of time.

It's really great that you have a cooperative parenting arrangement!


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#7 of 9 Old 02-16-2012, 07:19 PM
 
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It's not legally binding without the judge signing off on it.  To be blunt, he would be stupid to just have the agreement outside of court.  Not saying you would do this, but should there be a falling out, you could go after him for the child support amounts that he has not been paying and the court will go with the court order over the agreement. 

 

The flip side, your ex moves back, you get a judge to sign off on it and he doesn't exercise all of his parenting time.  He would not be legally obligated to pay you any child support at all per the court order. 

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#8 of 9 Old 02-17-2012, 07:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Basically, we are back together.

 

BUT, even if we weren't the issues we HAD regarding parenting are no longer a concern and I feel he now should have shared custody.

 

He pays me WELL over what child support standards in the state are.  He is not paying through the state, but the state wants him to because my daughter is on state insurance? Apparently they can take part of his child support payments and apply them to pay for back medical costs?


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#9 of 9 Old 02-21-2012, 10:10 AM
 
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If your daughter is on state insurance that may be the case.  You probably need to talk to an attorney/legal aid or he could find himself in court for back support in a few year's time.   


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