Moving to a very little place and my ex's worries - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-19-2012, 06:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi.I am still waiting to hear if i will be reassigned or let go at work...they say they should know in a couple of weeks... I'm doing a good Job not freaking out. But I am preparing

I am currently renting a 2/2 and the lease is due for renewal next month.
Not knowing if I will have the same income and wanting to save money anyway I found a safe, cute, efficiency, spacious for an efficiency, half the rent.

My ex is not really giving me much hard time but he is asking me what will I do to help our 3 yr old cope with the downsize. Besides making it a happy event, any other recommendations?
I have moved a lot with him and he never minds, but this is the first time we downsize.

Second, the neighborhood Is predominantly gay and my ex is concerned. I assured him it is a very safe neighborhood, but i think he is more concerned about our son to see the mannerisms eyesroll.gif

Any compassionate words of wisdom are appreciated.


Thank you!
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Old 02-19-2012, 10:08 PM
 
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He's only 3yo, I don't think he's going to have too much of a problem with it. I know that my 3yo wouldn't really care too much if a house was bigger or smaller. As for the gay community I don't see a problem.


It's complicated.
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Old 02-20-2012, 07:46 AM
 
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Well, aside from doing stuff like...painting and redecorating your DS's corner or room, and getting him involved in the project, I don't see what else your X could "require" of you, as this move is an economic necessity for you. Furthermore, you are not moving to an unsafe neighborhood, simply one that makes your X uncomfortable.

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Old 02-20-2012, 01:52 PM
 
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I'm curious about how one can tell that a neighborhood is predominantly gay.

 

My 3 yo didn't care about where we lived as long as mom was there, but of course YMMV.

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Old 02-23-2012, 12:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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If I can figure out how to store his toys I think he will be ok...he will have a corner where his table will be. I can put some wall stickers. Thank you halfasianmomma. I need to be creative with storage. I don't have "under the bed" space...

This is basically one room, a kitchen and a bathroom, no living room, no dining room, etc.
He has a tricycle and a then there is the stroller.... I gues I will need to hang a lot of stuff

Learning mum, I think you are right, he might just not care, as long as we have fun

Sparklefairy, This neighborhood is famous as a gay community. People just need to see the zip code to know.... But it is very safe, all the guys and gals are very nice (some prejudge me for being straight and assuming I will not be accepting of gays. But this is only while they get to know me. I know this because my church is in that neighborhood, and there a majority of gays attending)

My x will have to be accepting.

Any suggestion as to how to make the most of a small space. I was even thinking on getting a Murphy bed
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Old 02-24-2012, 12:48 PM
 
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How about something like this for the stuffies? Toys that are used less go up top and the other ones stay closer to the ground....

 

http://homeklondike.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/17-Ikea.jpg

 

Or there are these:

http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/50163264/#/70163263

 

Or you could hang a frame like this one on the wall and add those plastic baskets inside for more storage

http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/20114883/

 

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Old 02-26-2012, 11:14 AM
 
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Triangular corner hanging nets are great for stuffed animals and light toys.  We use shoe organizers for small toys.  I would get a bunk bed and create a storage area on top, and a play area where the bottom bunk would go.  You can reverse it when he's ready to play up high.

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Old 02-27-2012, 07:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Love the ideas! Thank you!joy.gif:joy
I thought bunk bed would be too much, but I saw a few used ones in eBay for less than 200 including the mattress and I guess I can sell mine?
My bed is just the box spring and the mattress on top. But my matress is queen, so I cannot use it on a bunk bed. I would use the bottom one to slepp and the upper part for storage. Love it!

What can I do with the big items?
Trycicle, stroller, I guess look for a way to hang them?
Closet space will be challenging my creative juices.

I guess whatever doesn't fit I'd sell, because I dont want to pay for a storage.
I don't have much, besides my bed is a desk and an ottoman which will not fit. I think my loveseat will make it. I don't have a dinning room st becaue we currently eat in the kitchen

This will be interesting!
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Old 02-28-2012, 11:26 AM
 
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Post pics of the place when you're settled. I'm sure other mamas will be interested to see how you've organized things :)

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Old 02-29-2012, 12:51 PM
 
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When I lived in a tiny apartment, I stored a stroller and park toys in my car.

As money allows, get stuff meant for small spaces. My biggest mistake was not doing that.
Check out Ikea if just for suggestions.

mom to 14yr dd and 4yr dd
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Old 03-01-2012, 05:20 PM
 
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I had to move to a small apartment after the divorce and the size didn't affect dd at all (she was close in age to yours). In fact when I ask about a bigger house she says she wants to stay in the small one.

 

I hide things anywhere I can. I have wrapping paper, art, and bags under the bed (it's only a few inches high), I hide things like my sewing box and extra blankets under the couch. I also use the area on top of my cupboards. Just gotta use every square inch of hidden space.

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Old 03-05-2012, 01:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi. I'm taking notes from everybody, thanks!
I am still waiting on the hoa to approve me...it is taking forever!
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Old 03-06-2012, 07:15 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NewMom0208 View Post

Hi. I'm taking notes from everybody, thanks!
I am still waiting on the hoa to approve me...it is taking forever!


Why does the HOA need to approve you?

This is raising red flags for me.


Mom to J and never-ending , 0/2014 items decluttered, 0/52 crafts crafts completed  crochetsmilie.gif homeschool.gif  reading.gif  modifiedartist.gif

Seeking zen in 2014.  Working on journaling and finding peace this year.  Spending my free time taking J to swimteam

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Old 03-15-2012, 06:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello!

Ita been crazy...I am moving in a week! The 24th
Good o bad, I'm packing everything but I haven't dare to touch his bedroom
Well, our bedroom as I sleep with him anyway. He doesnt mind to see packed things.

I have been telling him about the move, but not sure how much he gets, possibly more than I realize, buy with him having speech delays, not sure how he feels. I perceive he is curious.

Hoa approved, this is very common in this area that after the owner wants to rent it to you, the hoa needs to approve you before you can move in. I had to do the same when I moved to the 2:2 apartment I am leaving. Why is this a red flag?

The way I see it, I better have very good neighbors if all had to be approved as well.

He is spending the weekend with his dad, I get him Monday from school and I will take him to the new place

Then I plan to take him wednesday, still to the place empty, maybe greet some of the new neighbors. I have to admit I am getting a little nervous, we are downsizing after all... Big time!

The only thing he wont be able to do is to run around, so I will provide more outside running.

I plan to let him decorate the area around where his table will be. When we get there on move day.

When we move to this one he was "weird" for about 30 min and then like nothing happened...
Let's see now...I plan to make it about him and us having fun, I can unpack later

Oh, I am taking my bed, when money allows I'll switch to bunk bed if I see I'm too tight for space.

I finished packing my bedroom, the one item I'm not sure I can fit is my suitcase set, its a nice samsonite, I might ask a friend if she can provide foster home for it....soooo much to doo

I won't say it too loud, but I am hoping I can stay put for a couple years... But I said the same thing last time


I'll post pictures smile.gif
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Old 03-17-2012, 08:13 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklefairy View Post

 

My 3 yo didn't care about where we lived as long as mom was there



This.

 


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Old 03-17-2012, 08:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you... That re centered me ..

treehugger.gif

Moved the kitchen already! Now I'm going to buy some non toxic paint, I know the play area will be lavender, ...we will do yoga there too.
Haven't decided on the sleeping space... Or maybe the whole place lavender
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Old 03-21-2012, 02:51 PM
 
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they make really big hooks for hanging bikes and etc that would work for a stroller.  probably big hooks are cheaper in the hardware store than at the bike shop.  if you can find studs you can hang stuff from the ceiling.

 

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