So I'm maybe ready to sorta date - how to meet people? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 03-25-2012, 05:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I joined a church, among other reasons, for a safe, low-key place to meet a guy. Oops. The congregation is mostly over 60. Maybe someone has a son or nephew? lol.gif

 

I am mostly a sahm and when I do work, I clean houses, so not likely to bump into someone that way.

 

I joined okcupid for a second and it was a disaster. First, it was so much work to get a profile in decent shape. I had a few guys contact me. One was someone I had a date with last summer and in no uncertain terms told him at that time I was not interested in seeing him again. He thought maybe time had warmed my heart, which it has not. Another guy told me he liked to have at least three sexual relationships going on at once. Sounds fun, not what I'm into. Third guy was so obviously not compatable with me in any way. I deleted my account.

 

So, how do I meet people? My friends don't know any single guys that would be make a good match. I'm done with bars. I don't have much time or energy to put into this but I would like to have a date to events, see someone once a week casually, for fun. Not for getting married next week but not like an adult friendfinder thing either.


 Single mama to two wild and sweet toddlers 2/08
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#2 of 13 Old 03-26-2012, 01:30 PM
 
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Change churches to one with a larger membership.  Go visit a few and find one you like and fit into,

 

I don't know how many kids you have or their ages but get them involved in activities like boy scouts/girl scouts, If you have boys, put them in baseball.

 

Take a class or two yourself at a community college or take karate. 

 

None of these are guaranteed to get you a guy but you will meet people, other parents, develop a social network.  Hopefully you can make some friend and meet a guy that is for you.

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#3 of 13 Old 03-29-2012, 08:54 PM
 
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facebook, meetup.com, and the ymca have worked for me.  facebook is the best so far.

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#4 of 13 Old 03-30-2012, 10:41 AM
 
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Facebook? How does that work?
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#5 of 13 Old 03-30-2012, 04:48 PM
 
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Yeah, and the Y...how does that work? We all need the inside scoop. Details, please?


Mom to 11 y.o. lawyer, 9 y.o. actor, and 4 y.o. pilot. I believe 'em on those, too!

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#6 of 13 Old 04-01-2012, 04:49 PM
 
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well, my enormous 5th grade c r u s h who i've never forgotten friended me on FB, and i always posted on his threads if it was anything of general concern or funniness.  when he broke up with his girlfriend, i waited a decent amount of time and then posted on his threads more.  he lives a few hours away, but i got to hang with him when he visited his mom.  and then i got to have the best first time sex of my life...let's hope next weekend is better!

 

but you can use fb to lay the groundwork with guys, and then flirt with them in real life.  i was going to actually post for my friends to set me  up with people.  married friends have single friends they want to set up, they do!

 

look hot when you go to the Y to workout, but not in full makeup, that's ridiculous.  guys cannot take their eyes off you if you are in yoga pants and a tight but not sexpot shirt.  they just can't.  .and if you see them glancing at your wedding ring hand you know you can start a conversation. 

 

single dads are often at the playground with their kids or at the Y on tues, thursday, and EOW.  saturday morning is a good one.  look to see whose wearing a wedding ring, and talk to the kid first, or better, get their kid on the teeter totter or whatever with yours if possible. 

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#7 of 13 Old 04-01-2012, 04:50 PM
 
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i don't know about where you live, but where i live, the latinos enjoy more ample women and spending time with kids.  it's a racist stereotype, but sometimes stereotypes are helpful in negotiating the world.

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#8 of 13 Old 04-01-2012, 06:19 PM
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Hello,

 

I would strongly recommend giving meeting someone online another chance. Yes, it does take time / effort to set up a good profile, and yes, you will have to wade through some people who are not right for you, but both effort and having to wade through the losers happens no matter how you begin dating. I think that these days there are MANY people using online dating, so much that it's kinda the future (at least where I live - a pretty tech savvy place, Seattle).

Personally I have had great success with online dating and it how I met my fiance' who is the best man I have ever known. But before him, I also met a lot of great men, and had great experiences, some of whom I still consider dear friends. 

 

Also, Okcupid might not be the best because it's free. I think you'll find better on paying sites. 

 

If you're at all open to that I could think of some more specific advice about how to make it succesful and reply back. Wish you a tons of success and Love love.gif


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#9 of 13 Old 04-01-2012, 06:53 PM
 
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I'm on match.com, I was a bit freaked out at first too but I took down my photo and just emailed a couple of guys I like the sound of offering them my photo. I chatted to a couple but only one seemed interesting and harmless enough to meet. We've been dating for about a month and he's lovely, I haven't been on match since I agreed to meet him... I know meeting multiple guys is the preferred method but I'm just not up for that.

I only expected to go on one date as a kind of experiment ... Seems I lucked out with the guy I'm seeing, he just seems like a normal kind of guy that I could have met at work/ through friends etc

I think online dating is great when being a single working mum makes it hard to put yourself out there... But it does take a bit of courage!!

What about a night class is something that interests you? Maybe a different church with younger parishioners? Do you have friends who could hook you up?

I dunno really its hard isn't it
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#10 of 13 Old 04-01-2012, 06:53 PM
 
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Oops double post!
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#11 of 13 Old 04-01-2012, 06:56 PM
 
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I agree that a paid site is a better idea, I have a few friends on plenty of fish but I decided on match because I thought the guys on there would be more serious about meeting someone to date as opposed to just for sex ... I dunno if that's true or not though
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#12 of 13 Old 04-01-2012, 07:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kirstyandgirls View Post

I'm on match.com, I was a bit freaked out at first too but I took down my photo and just emailed a couple of guys I like the sound of offering them my photo. 


This is exactly what I did - I omitted my photo and only proactively reached out to men I found ineresting and then shared photos. I think this REALLY was key. Weeded out those only looking for sex. :)

 


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#13 of 13 Old 04-01-2012, 07:54 PM
 
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When I sent my pic to one guy his response was 'mmmmmm' ... I deleted his email!

Whereas when I sent my pic to the guy I'm seeing his response was 'wow, you're very pretty'

To be honest it's not that hard too weed out the guys that aren't worth your time smile.gif

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