My son (just turned two years old a month ago) has recently started biting children at preschool. He has not done this in front of me ever so I am confused about what is going on with him. Today he bit THREE different children-all female strangely-and I was contacted by the school and now must meet with his teacher and the school director to discuss it. One of the poor girl's parents are extremely upset about it. Many months ago he used to bite me sometimes, and it wasn't meant as a mean gesture-normally would happen when he was expressing his tiredness close to bedtime/or when I was being preoccupied with watching a show on the internet instead of giving him 100% of my attention. However, this behavior has subsided and he does not bite me anymore-and like I mentioned earlier-I've never seen him bite another child.
Any suggestions about how to nip this in the butt or what may be causing it? I am very worried that he will continue and they'll ask my son to leave the school. As a single parent who's current temporary visitation schedule with son's father is extremely sparse-I cannot afford for him to lose his place at this preschool. It's my lifeline. As far as I'm aware, he was not provoked directly prior to him biting the child last week. There must be Something going on that I'm not seeing or that I'm not being told about.. right?
Thanks for your help.
Not sure this will be helpful but I would try:
To see him interacting with other childre, maybe at a playground?
I had a similar problem but with pushing
I took him to playgrounds, libraries and bookstores and I was able to see it. He would do it even when another kid was not fast enough to get out of the way.
By seeing it first hand I was able to teach him an alternative
When someone was on his way, he could go around or ask an adult for help
If it was about someone taking a toy, he could lift his hand and say "no"
The other thing is to keep on saying "remember, no hitting " they understand more than we think, even at two
Also, what is the preschool proposing?
At home, butting should never be allowed, even if the frustration is granted...it's a no-no
They say they don't even know butting hurts if they have not been bitten themselves.
i did actually take him to a very crowded childrens place yesterday and he was completely fine with me. in fact he was incredibly polite to the other children playing next to him. the really troubling thing about this whole situation is that the biting came out of nowhere. two weeks ago-no biting. last week he bit the same girl two days in a row. then today he bit three different girls! its escalating and i feel like i've got no grip on it. i have definitely talked to him a lot about it and suggested to his teacher today that i should come in the mornings to see if i can catch him doing it. she didn't think that was a good idea because it seems to be a random event with no particular trigger-however i really doubt that is the case. i cant imagine a child biting another for no reason at all. even if the reason is as simple as he wants their attention (which is my chief suspicion), there still IS one : )
i am still waiting to meet with the director of the school. last week she left me a biting message and i emailed her and she never replied to me. today after receiving the biting call i emailed her again but never heard back from her. so supposedly tomorrow we are sitting down with her and my sons teacher. i will suggest that i try to sit in one morning so i can catch him. and other than that the only thing i can think of is to do what you were talking about and take him in public more often and try to catch him in the act...however i wonder if its really a good idea to take my son near what could be his next chomping victim? i feel so bad and embarrassed about it.
thanks for the tips new momma! hopefully i'll get it all sorted and his classmates wont have to fear the chompers anymore ; )
Can I ask you how do you react when he bites you?
What worked best for me the one time he bit me was start to start crying, but not as an adult, but as if I am a little girl and I totally overdid it very dramatic.
Later in life with the pushing, I would say " I love you, but if you push me, I will not play with you" and left the room. Or "
First BREATHE. I had a biter too, not fun for the momma. I used to watch a little girl who hit and pushed my kid every chance she got, but the first time he bit her back her mom was all over it!
All kids do something anti-social, but biting seems to bring out the worst reaction with everyone.
If you are threatened with getting kicked out of pre-school, ask them what they are doing with the hitters because I can guarantee most of the kids are hitting at some time. Biting is worse b/c it breaks the skin (sometimes) but it is the same impulse.
If you can't see what leads to it tell the teachers that. Put it on the people who are paid to watch your baby to tell you exactly what they see happening right before he bites. At this point I assume they are keeping a close eye on him so they should know what is provoking it.
(You can preempt a lot of the kicking-out threats my talking to the parents your kid bites directly and letting them know that you are working on it, and listening to their suggestions) At this point, with my third school-aged kiddo, when I hear he was hit/bit/hair pulled at pre-school I just empathize that it must not have felt good, but don't think of it beyond that. If it is a first child, the other parents may need to know that you are interested in stopping the behavior.
Good luck, and I really do feel for you--those days were no fun for me~
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