My exh didn't show up for child support court in the beginning of January.There was a body attatchment issued,and the court told me they would call me to come back when he was found.He's homeless.About a month later he turned himself in on a Friday,the judge let him go with the stipulation he would return the next Monday.I was called to come back that day,and I went and spent most of the day there.He didn't show up,so they issued another body attatchment.He has made one $40 payment in over 3 years for our 2 dc,dd,13 and ds,10!!I have full custody,he has unlimited visitation if he is sober.I'm just so sick of this.Anyway,up until January he had been seeing our dc often.He has not seen them since before the 1st court date,didn't even try to contact them,and he has both their cell numbers.He's always told me if we ever divorced(our relationship has been hell since the beginning,he's an abusive alcoholic) that he would refuse to pay child support,because it would be my fault.Ds is glad he's not around,but dd misses him and is worried about him. :( He's always treated dd better than ds,because ds has special needs(heart defects,chromosome deletion,and Asperger's) that he can't deal with.He blames me for ds's issues,he blames me for everything that has ever gone wrong.He was the one who was always out getting drunk,not coming home,or coming home so drunk he would yell at me,hurt me(he's had a few domestic violence arrests),or pass out drunk on the porch and pee himself,to the point where I would have to call a rescue to take him to the hospital.
A few weeks ago my friend was at the Department Of Human Services for an appointment,and he walked in with a woman.She took a picture of the woman and called the police and told them where my exh was and what he was wearing so they could try to find him.He took off when he saw her and the police couldn't find him.The woman he was with stayed to talk with a social worker,which happened to be my friend's worker as well.I had a feeling he was staying with that woman,and a friend confirmed it a few days ago.He's apparently dating her,and using her for a place to stay.He's still drinking and in and out of the hospital,he tried calling our friend for a ride home from there a couple of weeks ago,but our friend didn't answer the call,he doesn't want to deal with exh and I don't blame him at all.
I am upset.Up until the court date exh was still telling me he loved me,wanted me back.I figured it was all an act for a place to stay,and now I know it was.I wonder how much of our relationship was a flat out lie now,and I am hurt.But I am glad he is out of our lives.
I also heard that exh was telling his friends that he wasn't even going to try to contact our dc for at least a year,and then he would turn himself in and deal with the child support.Yeah,that'll look great to the judge!I don't know how to deal with this with my kids.Dd is very hurt. :( Thankfully she's doing extremely well,and so is ds.The best they have ever been! Dd made the high honor roll,won the lottery to attend a charter arts high school in the fall,and made student of the quarter! Ds was moved out of the self contained special needs class to a regular 5th grade! I am SO proud of them.
I don't want exh to see them at all,ever.I don't think that'll be an option though,at some point he's going to try to see them.I just know it will open up scars the kids have from this,and I do not want that.They are happy and thriving right now,and I want to see them stay that way.Can I just tell him to take me to court when he tries to see them and make the judge decide?I hope the most he'll get is supervised visitation,since I know his refusal to get help for his alcoholism,his refusal to pay child support,and him just cutting all visits with the kids will look very bad for him.
I'm wondering if I can somehow help the police find him with that woman's picture and knowing who her social worker is.I'm not out to get her in trouble,but I want exh to be found and made to pay child support.Thanks so much for reading.
|Single , Single Parenting|