I don't believe on forcing children to eat, especially because in my case I was and it is very possible it was a factor for the anoxeria I suffered on my 20's
I was never diagnosed, but noe i know I had it.
With that said, when my son started to only eat 4-5 items, refusing to eat anything else and opting to go without eating for 2-3 meals at a time, I decided to be a little more sterner and it paid off almost instantly
Instead of putting down food and leave it up to him whether to eat it, and ignoring his request for anything else, of course. ,,, I tried something different, coached by my pediatrician, who is a chinese medicine dr.
I would set, let's say banana, and he was not allowed to leave the table or eat anything else until he had 2 bites of banana.
He would cry, roll on the floor, screech you would have thought I was kill ing him.
I would be there, dying inside, but saying " sorry Santiago, I know this is not what you want, but the rule is two bites and then you can eat cheese"
What would happen is that he would finally, start with the two bites, and continue on his own and eat the whole banana!
With this I was able to get him from eating only 4-5 different things, to 10 things
Well, his dad is now trying to be stern with him with "regular" food. Rice, chicken, soups
But what I described above Was not enough, so he forces it on the first 4-5 bytes
He forces the spoonful, and uses two fingers to cover his mouth. And says "no spitting" and offers a toy.
My son plays with the toy and keeps the food for several minutes on his mouth until he ventrally swallows and my ex repeatts again.
Eventually, my son eats a full meal in about 40 min
I haven't try it that way, I keep on just giving him multiple snake on each meal. Apple, cheese, rice cakes, cereals, rice and rice pasta.
Do you think my ex's approach is too harsh, or I am too softy?
Yes, I think his approach is too harsh. I also, however, think your approach is too harsh. How old is your son? Is he still breastfeeding? He sounds quite young and young children sometimes eat best when they have food offered many times per day and available as needed. I believe that children know (usually better than us) what is full and what is hungry. Hope this helps.
Doesn't sound good from ex's side. It doesn't seem like what he's doing would help your little one develop healthy eating habits or associations.
I have a very effed up relationship with food because of how it was presented to me as a child. I try to be very hands off about it with my little one. As long as what I give her is healthy, she's growing ok, I try not to worry too much. Good luck with your little one. Sounds like what you are trying is working. Maybe try to get your ex on board with it?
It sounds like he is being a little harsh. I have found, through my experiences, that the harder I try to get either one of my kids to eat, the harder they resist and push away. The hands off approach works for us, but it sounds like what you are doing is perfect.
None of the ideas expressed above are actually mine. They are told to me by Luthor and Ferdinand, the five inch tall space aliens who live under my desk. In return for these ideas, I have given them permission to eat any dust bunnies they may find under there.
My ds is 4 I have to admit I like it that he now asks for chicken, but hate the way it happened.
And I think I will softly try to get my ex to understand
Lorena, I too have trouble with my relationship with foods.
I had to rebuild and create new habits, I will not force him, it is not my thing....