Ever feel like you're banging your head agains the Wall? - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 3 Old 05-11-2012, 04:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
newmomlearning's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Between here and there.
Posts: 184
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Hi,

 

I am down today as I'm at a crossroads about our housing situation.  A house I own (needs work!!) is not in the right school district, but is in a beautiful area.  I've been renting the lovely house I'm in...   but, it will no longer be available at the end of this school year.  Have been searching high & low for a new place and am striking-out on finding something in our school district.

 

So, I'm freaking out. 

 

Wondering if this inability to find a new house for us is some kind of cosmic sign that I'm not in the right place.  I moved to this area by default.  We'd built the house (needs work) my ex-H wanted to build in the town he wanted to build in.  I preferred another State.  When I first moved here upon separating from ex-H, it felt right.  Now, I think that "rightness" was more about the good decision to get divorced than the town I ended up in.

 

The past two years have been such a struggle to get a foothold in building a new Life.  Is it supposed to be this hard??  I don't know.  I'm thinking maybe it is not.  I'm thinking maybe things aren't working out because they're not supposed to.  This isn't the right thing. 

 

On a gut level, I don't even know.  I don't have that feeling like everything will "be okay" any more.  I don't have that feeling that "this is it," headed in the right direction.

 

So, I'm letting go of my need to be here.  I'm putting my things in storage and when the kids get out of school... I'm going on a road trip with the kids to Maine.  I'm going home to see if it feels "right" to me.  I'll be there for about a month.  If nothing else, maybe it will help me remember who I used to be.  If I decided to come back, or I decided to stay in Maine...  it will be because I decided... not because I owned a house in a town I never wanted to live in.

 

I've been banging my head against a wall to make things work.  Mainly to give the kids stability of school systems.  But, I need to be able to breathe.  To feel like it is working.

 

Yes, it is time for a road trip.
 

newmomlearning is offline  
#2 of 3 Old 05-13-2012, 11:27 AM
Una
 
Una's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Lambertville
Posts: 202
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

A lot of my life lately feels like driving full speed into a brick wall. And then having the screen writers from Ground Hog Day work their magic, reset it and force me to repeat it until I get it right.

 

 Whatever happens, I think it's the journey and not the destination that matters. I can't tell you that everything will be okay, but for your sake I really hope that it will be, and that your journey in getting there will help you find that okay place. And do enjoy Maine! I've never been but the photos I see always look stunning!

Una is offline  
#3 of 3 Old 05-19-2012, 07:11 AM
 
hillymum's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Louisville, Ky
Posts: 3,463
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

What a wonderful plan! I am right there with you on looking for a new home in a good school district. I live in a relatively wealthy part of the city right now, but once I move out of the marrital home I will not be able to aford a house here, or apartment. Ever place I have looked at has really bad schools near by. It's gut wrenching! Friends are trying to help, but they suggest places that do not alow animals, and I really can't face giving our dog or cats away! How can I abandon them, the same way ex has abandoned me? It's got to the point that I just want to go back home to England, but I can't rip the kids away from their dad, not until I really have no choice.

hillymum is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off