Totally fed up with the system,is there anything I can do?? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 06-07-2012, 04:51 PM - Thread Starter
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My exh hasn't paid child support in over 3 years,probably closer to 4 now.He owes over $30,000,part of which will go to me for the kids,and the rest to the state as we receive help from the state. At the begining of January we had a cs court date.He didn't show up,so a body attachment was issued.He turned himself in a few weeks later,the judge let him go with the stipulation that he would return to court the following Monday.Of course he didn't show,so they issued another body attachment.This time the police picked him up a couple of months later.He spent 2 nights in the ACI,then was released.We have another court date on the 26th,and I doubt he will show.I am fed up with this.He's an alcoholic,and is now living with his girlfriend.A mutual friend has offered him a job with his construction company many times,exh never shows up.He will never be offered the job again,as he stole things out of our friend's yard recently.He's always played the "poor me,I'm a homeless alcoholic and no one will give me a job" in court.Well he's not homeless,and he's been offered a job.I just don't know what I can do.


Also,he hasn't seen our kids since new year's day.He has their cell phone numbers,so he doesn't need to talk to me.It's really hurting our almost 14yo dd.She's even started sleeping in my bed,which she hasn't done since she was about 7.She's very attached to me,she's been hanging out with me almost constantly(not complaining at all!! I love that she's with me).It's like she's afraid I'll leave her too. :( I know she knows I would never do that,but she's still scared.Ds,almost 11yo,is glad he doesn't see his father.Exh always favored dd,I think because of ds's issues.He always blamed me for ds having heart defects and autism.He blames me for everything that went wrong,he was very abusive to me,especially when he was drunk.I don't allow him to take the kids anywhere alone.I really don't want him seeing them at all,but dd was very close to him.


Is there anything at all I can do about the cs?He always told me if we broke up,he wouldn't pay cs.He always begged me not to keep our kids away from him,but he's the one staying away,so he cannot blame me.

Student mama to one awesome,talented and unique dd,15 and one amazing, sweet and strong ds,12(born with heart defect Tetralogy of Fallot,also on the autism spectrum),9 cats,and 2 gerbils.
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#2 of 2 Old 06-07-2012, 08:35 PM
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Do you have a case filed with the state support agency.  If you are getting state benefits/or did at one point you probably do.  Call the state office and find out who your worker is,  there are steps the state can take on your behalf to start collection processes. However the process is long and slow.  No one can 'make' your ex get a job but they can file IRS attachements, wage liens, property liens, license revokations etc.


(sorry for the spelling, its late)

Mom to J and never-ending , 0/2014 items decluttered, 0/52 crafts crafts completed  crochetsmilie.gif homeschool.gif  reading.gif  modifiedartist.gif

Seeking zen in 2014.  Working on journaling and finding peace this year.  Spending my free time taking J to swimteam

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