I'm looking for advice as my boyfriend and I are just in the process of blending our families. He's got an 8 year old DD and a 5 year old DS. I've got a 3 1/2 year old DD. We don't live together, but we spend a lot of time together with our kids.
So far things are going pretty well which is great. However, I'm getting more and more stressed out by how much bickering goes on between the 2 kids (and sometimes my boyfriend). Yikes! It seems they are always on each other about something. My boyfriend has a very different parenting style than I do and he is quick to jump in and 'make a ruling' about who was right and wrong. I often find myself thinking that I would do things differently, but they aren't my kids and it doesn't seem at all my place to get involved. However, now that we are bringing our families together, I'm worried for my DD. She's not used to bickering and so much stress. Plus, she is 3 1/2 and loves to copy everything big kids do. So she's already starting to pick up habits that I'm not crazy about.
I really have no idea how difficult it is parent 2 kids, so I'm not in much of a place to judge. He's really open to suggestions from me which I like - I just wish I had some to give. ha!
So I guess I'm looking for advice on how to influence their family dynamics without overstepping my bounds. Also, any advice that I can share with my boyfriend about his kids' sibling rivalry. And finally, how I can help my daughter to not be overly influenced by all of it. I'm hoping it's possible.
Thanks for trying, Cynthia!
I'm going to start looking for some books or articles on the subject. I'm sure there's info out there. Just was hoping for feedback from some folks on Mothering. Maybe I'll try again later.