That sounds so stressful! But CONGRATULATIONS! What a great achievement!
You can do this, but I wonder if there is any way you can get some extra help. Do you have family or friends that could come and take care of the kids on the weekend? Or someone to come and be with you and help once the kids go to bed on the weekends? Is stbx still there? Can he take the kids? It sounds like you're in nasty limbo-land like me - not physically separated, but emotionally done. I know I'm still super affected by stbx and where he goes and what he does and I think this will change once our stbx's move out. My stbx has been leaving massive messes in the kitchen too. I don't know if it's a rub or just his regular carelessness. What if you left it for him?
You can do this!
Is there any reason why your husband can't be the one to move out? You have the children.
(My STBX was also happy to leave and also completely failed to pack his stuff. Just because he's happy doesn't mean he's going to do any work, KWIM?)
Divorced mom of one awesome boy born 2-3-2003.
CONGRATS !!! I know it's stressful...BTDT. I packed up a house with no help from XH. I did the yard sale. I made the donation runs. I got the rental house all cleaned up to move out. I took all the pets. I then got a job 12 hours away. Repeat process in reverse. Pack up household. Move household. Unpack household All alone.
You can do it!! Make lists. Enlist friends. Be focused. You're better off without someone who takes no responsibility.
XH left the first time with mostly just clothes. He really didn't want much of anything he brought into the marriage except for golf clubs and stuff like that so I left those out for him. Otherwise, gone.
Not your responsibility to "mommy" him anymore!
You will feel a sense of accomplishment from this, and congrats on the job! Onward!!!!!!!
Mom to two terrific kiddos, affirming every day that the Universe is unfolding as it should and all is well...
We are doing good. He still hasn't lifted a finger to help sort anything. He tried to cook, notice the word tried. Another point of disagreement for years, we have very different ideas about what makes a decent meal. He could and does live on potatoes and red meat and bread. All things I try to eat as little as possible of. But I am making progress sorting. And I have two leads on places to move to. I have to move. My job is 90 minutes away and he is going to do a deed in lue of forclouser on the house. Right now I really need to concentrate on just packing and sorting. Next week I have to concentrate on reading IEPS and lesson planning. Once it's moved, I can take as long as I need to sort it out.
You sound so much better here. I hope one of those two places pans out for you to mive to. You're doing it!!
Congratulations! That's wonderful about the job. I have to agree, do not waste your precious time and energy packing his things or worrying about messes in the house. Get what you need and leave the rest behind. I am so happy for you.
Remember to be prepared if he tries to make things difficult for you right when you're about the take the last box out of the house. If you can do it while he's at work that would be best. The "happy" thing sounds a little like a game he's playing, trying to upset you. Do you know anyone close to the job you can stay with while you're looking for a place? Sometimes it can take a month or more just to get in somewhere and unless things are pretty mellow in the home, it's probably best to live apart as soon as possible.
Please tell us how the new job is going so far. You're doing an amazing job!
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