Struggling with single parenting and Teaching - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 9 Old 09-23-2012, 11:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm curious if any of you know of any books, blogs, etc., that are out specifically geared towards single parents and finding a balance between everything, including your job.  I'm blessed not to have financial worries, but the rest of it is a struggle.  I have a job I don't "leave at the office", not to mention the sad state public education is in and all the extra things we're required to do that doesn't directly affect kids.  I feel like my own two get the shaft all the time...first day of school pictures came at the END of the day in my classroom.  Between keeping house clean, planning meals (not happening, so that creates stress), keeping kids nurtured and supported, keeping up with their activities (we do soccer and brownies..it's not like I've taken on a ton), and trying to stay ahead of the curve on my job (not happening)....I'm not getting to exercise, which, in turn, makes me exhausted.....

 

....and on and on....

 

it's not a complaint, but I do need to do something before I lose it, which might be close.  Any good resources out there?

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#2 of 9 Old 09-25-2012, 01:43 PM
 
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I'm not a teacher, but I know I'm not getting it all done.  It's bloody impossible!  My house is a wreck, and we're not doing any formal activities this semester because I just couldn't wrap my head around the idea of getting them done- plus it's our first year of public school after homeschooling before, and I felt they were used to unscheduled time and might need to be as free as possible.

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#3 of 9 Old 09-26-2012, 10:02 AM
 
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I am not a teacher anymore, recently switched careers, but I was for the first 7 years of ds' life.  For me, it was all about drawing firm boundaries (especially at work), putting self-care first and learning to be OK with not being able to do it all.

 

I don't know of any books, specifically for single working moms, as for blogs you might want to check out these links:  Top Single Parent Blogs & Top 25 Blogs on Single Parenting

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#4 of 9 Old 09-26-2012, 08:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you, both.  Sometimes, a decent night's sleep and a new perspective helps.  All of my friends are married, so I don't have anyone to commiserate with about the challenges.  I do need to draw firmer boundaries with work and not let my admin make me feel "less than"....SHE is having issues lately managing and I need to remember that in some cases it's her issue and not mine.  We have the lowest morale we've had in a long time on a big campus....so, it gets to be infectious sometimes.  Thanks, again, for the links.  I totally agree with not "overscheduling" kids...150%!

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#5 of 9 Old 09-27-2012, 07:21 PM
 
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I am SO with you!  It's my first year with my own classroom and it's SUPER challenging!  I work in a low-income school and have a really tough class that requires an insane amount of differentiation, which takes a lot of time to plan.  My ex does have my kids on Wednesdays and Thursdays, plus every other weekend, so I try to get most of my work done on those days so that I can be more present with my kids on the days I do have them.  I've also had to make it a priority lately to spend time with my friends.  They really keep me grounded and remind me that my job isn't my whole world.  I think as a teacher, it's really easy to get completely caught up in school and ignore the 'outside world' and I am totally guilty of doing that for the first month of school.  I feel a little more balanced now, but I need to allow myself the leeway to not get everything done.  It's just impossible.  A teacher will NEVER have everything done.  To keep my apartment organized and stay on top of meals and things like that, I have made sure to take a few minutes every day to put things away so it doesn't get crazy messy, and I also meal plan a month at a time and do a lot of the prep on the weekends.  I don't know that anything I've actually said can be of any help to you, but just know I feel your pain! ;)


Single mama to DD 10/18/03 and DS 9/15/05 

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#6 of 9 Old 09-28-2012, 06:58 PM
 
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I'm in a similar postion. I left. My husband in August, and went from being mostly a stay at home mom to being a single parent with two kids. The job keeps my mind off the devastation of Divorse. I have learned to think only one thought at a time and deal with only one issue at a time. But I'm far from perfect. The stress has made me louse at least 8 pounds. We are struggling finshaly. That will get better with time. I feel terrible but I am looking forward to the kids dad taking them next weekend. But I'm used to always having them, it isn't really that much different for me as their dad was never there on a daily basis when we were together.
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#7 of 9 Old 10-16-2012, 09:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for sharing, all.  I think, sometimes, it just helps to hear that you're not crazy.  We used to have 50/50 years ago, but it wasn't working, so I have them all the time except 2 weekends/month.  We had to do a little switching for a month and I've had them 3-4 weeks straight.  Makes me feel bad to want a break because they are wonderful kids...but, teaching 6th grade all day and coming home with my two (4th and 6th grade)....is exhausting...mentally and physically.  

 

Finding strength...I wish you lots of it and patience and taking care of yourself.  I'm 5 yrs post divorce and remember that stage like it was yesterday.  I don't have the emotional issues of divorce to deal with...and that is VERY draining.  I was in survival mode during that period for sure.  Special hugs to you during this time.

 

Everyone else...I appreciate the input.  I def need to meal plan in advance...did that this week and, Voila, a little stress removed.  I have report cards due Friday and no break from kids during the week...BUT we go off track in 8 days and I will be allowed to be human again! :)  

 

I need to spend November setting myself up for success for the 2nd trimester.

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#8 of 9 Old 10-18-2012, 03:43 AM
 
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Thank you. I'm working on finding my friends again. Somehow I literally lost most of them during the 12 year marriage. Lost, like I don't know where they moved or what. And make some new.
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#9 of 9 Old 10-20-2012, 06:43 AM
 
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The re-connecting with old friends and making new takes a long time.  I am 2 years out and it still feels like I am in the beginning stages of this.
 

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