Need advice, going through a custody battle - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 10-10-2012, 07:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Back in june of 2010 I gave my ex husband custody of our oldest son due to behavioral issues and to try to prevent my son from endind up in a state hospital. He suffers from adhd, bipolar, autism, severe outbursts, etc.

Over the last year, he has went downhill. He cries, wanting to come back home. His dad was suppose to keep all the services that I had in place going and he has not kept his promise. We even had a meeting with my sons therapist to go over everything and where we had his records packaged up so nothing was out of place and that all services could continue without change. He has taken my son off of all his meds except one for adhd.

My son has also said how his dad and stepmom both mistreat him. My other son says the same thing. They have been hit with a board for punishments, they have been left alone with the two younger kids, at the time were 2 years old and 2 months old while they go to the store or wherever for an hour or more. My kids are only 10 and 11. They don't know how to care for kids that young. They did have their step brother there that is 12, but even he can't handle my oldest boy if something was to set him off.

I recently petitioned the court for a modification of child custody to hopefully get my son back. Now my ex has also put in his own petition to try an get my younger son. We go to our second court hearing where we actually go in front of the judge on Monday. If anyone has any advice or any supportive comments, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
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#2 of 5 Old 10-10-2012, 01:27 PM
 
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I hope you have a good lawyer. This sounds like a horribly painful situation for you and your kids. I don't have any advice other than be sure to remain calm and collected - women are often automatically presumed to be crazy and irrational, so don't let them think that's true (even though we know that crying does not mean we're crazy and irrational!). Please let us know how it goes. I'll be thinking of you.

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#3 of 5 Old 10-10-2012, 02:11 PM
 
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So sorry you and your children are going through this. I would also suggest getting a good lawyer because you might have an up hill battle considering he was given custody once. It does not say in you post, but, I assume the courts gave you custody initially? Did you legally give him custody or was it a verbal agreement with your XH to assume custoday in 2010? I think I have read that you have to have proof that the circumstance has changed to have the courts even consider a change in custody if it will be contested. I could be wrong here - I am new to this entire process myself. Best of luck to you!   

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#4 of 5 Old 10-10-2012, 02:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for replying. I do have a good lawyer, thank goodness. At first, I was going to fight this on my own, but when my XH actually got himself a lawyer, I got one too. I gave him custody in court. It was mutually done. And I was wrong about the year, it was june of 2011 when my son went to live with his dad. I've talked with his therapist now and know what services he is getting and my therapist that my son also had while living with me, is going to testify on Monday ad well.
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#5 of 5 Old 10-10-2012, 09:18 PM
 
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If your son's therapist will testify your son telling her of physical abuse, and she can testify that necessary medication has been with held then I think you probably have the upper hand Good luck!

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