What to do with the "Stuff"? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 11-30-2012, 11:08 AM - Thread Starter
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So, what did you do with your wedding stuff?  I have photos, my rings, the guest album, momentos in a box.  I just don't know what to do with them.  I probably won't throw anything out until we go through divorce.  Until it is final, I just don't think I could bring myself to toss stuff.  But even then, would my daughters want to have some of it one day when they are older?  It is a symbol of the marriage that created them, but on the other hand, it wasn't a marriage that lasted.  


Maybe if I was the one that left, it would be easier to let it go.  Somehow, being the one that didn't make the decision to end things makes it harder.

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#2 of 8 Old 11-30-2012, 12:52 PM
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I was the one who left and I haven't gotten rid of any of it.  I figure those albums are meaningful to our children, heck, they are still meaningful to me because of our children.  As painful as the marriage ending (and the reasons behind the end) has been, I still want to honor the marriage that created them.  But I still have pictures of the kids with their dad on my family room walls 1.5 yrs post-split, so maybe I'm a little weird.  Now the ring I am planning to sell at some point-- it wasn't very expensive so I won't get much for it, but I don't see any point in holding on to it.

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#3 of 8 Old 11-30-2012, 12:59 PM
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I've saved all the pictures for the kids.  But it was small non-fancy wedding so there isn't a lot.  Ex stole my wedding band so no idea where it is but I would have saved it for dd.


I actually have my parents' wedding album and I'm glad my mom didn't throw it away.

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#4 of 8 Old 11-30-2012, 01:53 PM
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It's been 5.5 years for me. The ring was put on consignment in the first 6 months because I needed the money. Unfortunately, I waited too long to check back with the jeweler and forfeited it =(  Sometimes that makes me sad, because I loved that ring (and actually paid for it myself), but I figure it's for the best and just hope it ended up with someone who loves it even more.


I've done nothing with the pictures, though I have recently considered packing them away for the kids instead of having them in the cabinet with other family pics.


The cake topper (which I also loved - it was a Hummel figurine, similar to the one my parents had on their cake) went to the Goodwill last year along with some random wedding gifts/ photo frames that I didn't want around.


I have an ugly set of metal toasting flutes that my sister gave us for the wedding. They're engraved with our names and the date so I don't know what to do with them. I need to find out how to remove the engraving and then I'll send them to the Goodwill, too.


I'm keeping my dress, since I'm a designer and keep most of my big creations. It's in a bag somewhere. I haven't looked at it since Big Kid was a baby and I prepped it for cleaning (removed the metal parts), but then never got around to getting it cleaned, so the stains might be impossible to remove. My headpiece hangs in my closet, again, because of the fashion aspect. It's funny, but the dress and headpiece both have almost no emotional hold for me regarding XH or the actual wedding. Because I made them, they have memories of my own private time back then, and the care I put into them to make something beautiful for myself.

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#5 of 8 Old 12-01-2012, 02:00 PM
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I still have a few photos in frames of the two of us, but mostly because I am trying really hard to not be an angry ex wife and don't want the kids to see me as being that. I gave the dress to good will when ex and I first seperated 6 months after we married. Wedding album is put away. I will throw it out at some point I am sure, but I want to talk to my mum first, seeing as she was the one that paid for all the wedding  etc. (Ex and his parents didn't pay for anything!)

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#6 of 8 Old 12-02-2012, 08:00 PM
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I am recently separated (Sept) and filed for divorce immediately.  DH was always verbally, emotionally, and financially abusive, and had just crossed over into the physical realm and I got a PFA.   Right now, my wedding picture is down in the unfinished basement scaring away the rodents.  My wedding ring broke years ago, so I haven't worn one in at least a decade.   As for the dress, it is a foofy early 90s style and I will probably let my daughter wear it for Halloween or something once she gets older.  I will save the photos though, as there are so many of my grandparents and great-aunts who are now deceased, and my cousin took them, so those photos are very precious to me.  Our wedding was small and simple, so there was really nothing else I had to save/keep. 

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#7 of 8 Old 12-03-2012, 11:24 AM
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I sold my rings as soon as the divorce was finalized.  As far as pictures/"stuff", most of that ended up in my parents' basement once I moved out of the house I shared with XH.  Slowly, I've been throwing away most of it.  I had intentions of giving the dress to a seamstress to re-use the fabric/trim, but haven't so far.  I also thought about selling the Waterford toasting glasses (not engraved) but never got around to it.


I didn't do a formal album so I will probably remove the family photos and put them in an envelope for DS in case he wants to see them when he's older. 


Now that I'm thinking about it, I have a lot more purging to do...I've put it out of my mind the last couple of years!

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#8 of 8 Old 12-03-2012, 12:22 PM
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Save it for the kids.  My parents split when I was 7yo but I have my mom's dress and veil and a lovely professional album and I'm glad I have it, especially now that both of parents are gone.


I saved my wedding ring and ex's for my ds.  Their sterling silver and not worth a dime, and as a boy he probably won't care one bit that I have them, but I'm still keeping them along with the pictures for him.

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