Telling kids about relationships and s*x when you are single - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
Thread Tools
#1 of 5 Old 12-15-2012, 03:22 AM - Thread Starter
MittensKittens's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,058
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)



I'm wondering how other single parents have dealt with this or are planning to deal with this. My kids are aware that many other kids have dads, living with them or not. They know that people who love each other may choose to live together and in some cases get married. They don't know anything about s*x yet. We have talked about bodily autonomy, and discussed that people should not touch certain parts of the body or ask kids to touch their bodies.


I feel it would be good to introduce these topics gently, for their own safety now and also to make sure s*x does not turn into some huge taboo. I'd welcome your thoughts or experiences.



I'm Olivia. I blog about physiological childbirth, homebirth, and unassisted homebirth!
MittensKittens is offline  
#2 of 5 Old 12-15-2012, 05:30 AM
Findingstrength's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 60
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The same way as when their dad and I were together. I think the earlier the better. I got this book ' it's not the stork' from my libary and a few others by the same author and read them to the kids. They weri e embarrassed. I wish I'd gotten them when they were younger, toddler age and just checked them out a few times a year. STBXH was not happy and thought. Should of waitedi and let 6th grade health cover it but it was only new a novel to them for a few weeks and they stopped singing those rap ones that drove me crazy. My kids wer 7 and 8 when I first read it.
Findingstrength is offline  
#3 of 5 Old 12-15-2012, 10:17 AM
Holland73's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Urban Jungle on the Bay
Posts: 2,755
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

With my ds, who is currently 9 years old, he initially started asking about how a baby got in a woman's belly, etc.  Slowly, with his growing development, influence of friends and insatiable curiosity, the questions became more about sex.  Around 6-7 years, he became a bit obsessed about naked bodies and sex.  It was around this time that I introduced him to the book, It's So Amazing!It's Not The Stork is a great start for the younger ones, ages 4+.  He still reads his It's So Amazing book and ask me questions for clarification or when he wonders about something.  


I am of the belief that children only ask questions they are ready to know the answers to.  The key is to answer ONLY the question they ask... never more, and make sure your answer is developmentally appropriate and understandable to them.  As adults, we tend to give them too much information too soon.  If anything, it is better to answer less, because they will always come back with more questions or for further clarification.  Their questions will help to guide you in what they are ready to know. 


Dr. Berman also has a good, *free* little handbook you can download that can guide you on what is developmentally appropriate for each age group.  How to Talk to Kids about Sex Handbook

Holland73 is online now  
#4 of 5 Old 12-16-2012, 02:47 AM - Thread Starter
MittensKittens's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,058
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Thanks for your replies. I actually came across Berman's PDF yesterday, and it was very helpful. 


I feel I should clarify. Once we start talking about conception and sex, it is possible that this will open a pandora's box of questions about fathers - a concept my kids are not intimately familiar with. Once they know about the sperm, my kids may want to know everything about the man who provided it. This is slightly complicated in our situation. 


At the same time, I think this is the time to bring these topics up. Leaving it too long will probably do damage. I know now is the right time to discuss the basics of conception (with or without talking about actual intercourse), but I am wondering how to handle that, and all the questions about their "dad" that will follow. 

I'm Olivia. I blog about physiological childbirth, homebirth, and unassisted homebirth!
MittensKittens is offline  
#5 of 5 Old 12-17-2012, 08:11 AM
contactmaya's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,031
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 10 Post(s)

Im a single mother by choice. I have the book 'Just the Baby for Me'  which talks about conception for a single woman using a sperm donor. 

contactmaya is online now  

Quick Reply
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off