New Single Mom, Wondering about custody and child support - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 2 Old 12-22-2012, 04:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
AllisonKaty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 10
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I have just left my son's father (not married) and moved out of state. Currently looking for employment, have great support system. 

 

My song is 20 months, still breastfeeding, attachment parenting, very strong bond with me.

 

His dad and I are trying to work out an agreement out of court. Is that a bad idea? Is there an agreement that we can just get notarized? 

 

He initially wanted 50/50 custody and joint legal custody, I told him I don't think that 50/50 residential custody is in his best interest especially at this age. He is a good guy, care for my son was 100% my responsibility. He provided financial support, but was not away from the home much. He yells for discipline. Has sole custody of his 10yo daughter.

 

I am trying to find an agreeable custody arrangement. I don't feel comfortable having my son stay for long periods of time (a week) without me at this age. 

He does not want to only travel to me to visit. 

 

He has also been asking about support. As of now I have no job and we are staying with my parents. It is hard for me to come up with what I will need. He has been great about it so far, paying for medicine when my son got sick, etc.

 

Any helpful suggestions?? Thanks!!!!!! 

AllisonKaty is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 2 Old 12-25-2012, 08:08 AM
 
Goodmom2008's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 720
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I want to preface what I am about to say with the fact that I am not an advocate for the presumption of 50/50 physical.  It doesn't take the individual child into consideration.  I also think that the younger the child, the less it should be used.  With that said, let's get on to the other parts of your post.

 

Especially the part that may cost you custody should your ex realize that he can use your move out of state against you.  Moving out of state, without a court order firmly in place was not a smart move.  Unless it's just over the state line and the distance is actually less than a 30 minute drive.  He can file to bring the child back to the state of residence.  The fact that you are not married may muddy this a little.  But probably not much considering that you were together until recently.

 

And given that you don't want your child away from you for long periods of time, well, moving out of state wasn't the way to accomplish that.  A long distance parenting plan usually involves large chunks of time away from either parent.  Typically, the NCP gets the majority of summer, most of the school breaks (this may work out a little differently since your child isn't school age yet but it will eventually).

 

There are state guidelines for child support.  And if he files before establish residency in the state you are currently in, you will have to go there for all issues until your ex moves out of the state.  And given that you moved away, if the courts agree with you moving (that's not set in stone, I have a friend who wanted to move once state over, her ex refused and the judge agreed with him so she's stuck here), you may end up having to either provide all transportation or pay all transportation costs.  You may want to consider moving back.

Goodmom2008 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off