Just signed my paperwork to file for divorce - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 01-06-2013, 09:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi everyone- I've been browsing posts for the past few months (after a long absence from MDC) and wanted to say hi. After several years of struggling to make a decision and take steps, I finally told H in July that I wanted a divorce. And said that repeatedly for the past 6 months. He's in denial and has refused to see a mediator or discuss next steps. He tells me he's not getting a divorce and I can move out if I want- he'll have the house and the kids. He has also threatened to go after full custody and lock me out of the house. I have a good attorney so I feel prepared for these possibilities and not worried about the outcome. I feel very sure about what I'm doing, which is a relief after so many years of trying to make a decision.

 

On friday I signed the paperwork to file a complaint for divorce and my attorney is filing it on Monday. Woo-hoo! I'm a little worried about serving him. He's been so deep in denial that I don't think it's going to be good. He's been emotionally abusive over the years, and recently made some vague threats about not pushing him too far. I want to keep the house and have stability for the kids, so I've stayed (in a separate room). He won't move out, so I'm stuck with this situation for now. I have considered moving out with a friend who is also recently a single mom, but don't want to give up my leverage with the house.

 

I'd be interested in any btdt stories or advice. Thanks!

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#2 of 4 Old 01-06-2013, 09:53 AM
 
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Agree. Don't leave the house that can look bad in court. But strongly consider if you really want it in the end. It is a bargaining tool but can be a big burden for you in the end. Are the payment something you can afford. Is the size and location what you will want in the end

mom to 14yr dd and 4yr dd
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#3 of 4 Old 01-06-2013, 01:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I do really want the house because it's perfect for renting out space (there's an in-law apt), which will make it affordable for me. It will actually be cheaper than renting a 3 bedroom for me and the kids in the area where I live. And realistically, I can refinance with a co-signer but H doesn't have that option. I'm pretty sure when it comes down to it that I'm the only one who can afford the house. So I just have to wait it out. It's really tough living here with him though- I constantly have to enforce boundaries. He always wants to give me a hug which can turn into a grope session greensad.gif I would love to move out and put some space between us (and have even looked at places at times when it's gotten really uncomfortable in the house), but I want to do what's best for the kids in the long run.
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#4 of 4 Old 01-07-2013, 08:45 PM
 
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I hope all goes well for you, that isn't an easy situation to be in, being in the same house. 

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