I am the only one making an effort to sell joint assets - advice? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 01-24-2013, 01:10 AM - Thread Starter
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In my separation agreement my XH and I agreed to make a joint effort to sell a plot of land we bought together to build our family home. Now I'm at a point where I am the only one in touch with the real estate agency, over the phone/email, meeting with the realtors, providing documents, all the bureaucracy...I emailed XH to read the contract and give me feedback - no reply. I followed up with a phone call - he did not send the reply he promised he would send. Now I have asked him yet again to call me, as I have arranged an important meeting with the realtor - no call. This is VERY frustrating. What do I do? Do I go ahead and do the whole thing on my own and then give him have his part of the money at the end and swallow the bitter pill? Or do I continue trying to get the (jerk) to get involved as agreed? I feel really taken advantage of, I'm doing all the work, and he's getting the benefits. How do I get the message across in an assertive way?

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#2 of 4 Old 01-24-2013, 06:15 AM
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I would swallow the pill but make it sweeter by sending him an email saying you are going to charge an hourly rate for your time involved in the process. Simply set an good hourly rate ($50/hr) and document all the time you work, divide the time by two and bill him for his half of the time!!!Send him frequent updates of progress, time accrued working and billing amount. He has to pay (in cash) moneys owed before he can receive his half of the proceeds from the land sale.

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#3 of 4 Old 01-24-2013, 04:31 PM
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Hi Anon- that sounds like trouble b/c what if he disagrees with the sale price?  Also don't you both have to sign?  You are doing a lot of work - that is one thing.  And you could be doing it all for nothing if he refuses to sell - that is the second thing and the reason you should work with him.

I would absolutely wash my hands of it and have the realtor call him directly, tell realtor to explain the details of what is happening to xh.  The price you are asking, the time they expect to take to sell it - the bottom line price, etc.  Get his input/ get him involved - make him a part of it.  Make it seem like it is necessary to involve him not by YOU insisting it be so but by the realtor asking that he be involved since his signature will be required.  You could send him an e-mail stating that THE REALTOR (not you) need his agreement on all the details and so you will have the realtor contact him directly. 

I think hillys suggestion is creative and if it weren't your xh - it would be correct.  you are working - you should be paid.  but the reality is that you asking him for an hourly wage or demanding it - that is just not a real possibility and will only cause war.   Any action you take that makes you look bitter (and demanding a wage would do that) is not going to serve your purposes.

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#4 of 4 Old 01-24-2013, 11:46 PM - Thread Starter
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This reply came just at the right time - I was thinking the same thing last night! I WILL DEFINITELY ask the realtor to call him and deal with him. They already know we're selling because of our separation. In the meantime I have called our architect and she will be coming to this important appointment with me. (and BTW, XH also doesn't pick up calls from the architect either! She told me last night! How crazy is that?!). He will reply to the realtor though, at least the first time, because he won't recognise the number and will think it's work-related (I hope).

I appreciate Hillymum's advice but XH would NEVER agree to pay me for my time, NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS.

Thanks you guys!

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