current husband and I are basically incompatible. We got together when we were 18 and I got pregnant with my oldest dd less than 6 months later. Fast forward 14 years and two more kids and here we are. He basically makes no decisions in our lives and gives me no opinions but then blames me when things don't turn out the way he wants. I believe he is clinically depressed, but he blames me for all of his unhappiness. Our relationship was never really great, but it seems to be awful lately. It all came to a head very recently when I found out I was pregnant despite having an IUD. He freaked out telling me I was ruining his life because I wouldn't terminate. Basically he said he wanted a divorce and he was really ugly about the whole thing for days. It turns out a week later I miscarried from the IUD removal and of course he was really happy and went back to normal life as if nothing happened. I feel like this was just the last straw in what feels like a lifetime of relationship crap. I can't get over the way he acted and that his first impulse was to leave. Its stifling to think about him in my future. So I told him I think we should go ahead with the seperation anyway and I would like him to leave by April 1st.
The problem? I am a SAHM with a special needs dd and I can't work. I rely on his income. He saw a divorce attn who basically advised him to give me 50% of his income, savings, and all bonus etc. So thats what he suggested. I don't know how to tell the kids, or how to make this transition easier for them. One one hand I am relieved but on the other I am terrified of what comes next. Is there any advice you can give a mom just starting out on this journey?
Proud mom of three! Special needs teen princess , 7 year old happy girl , and my flower toddler
Google a child/spousal support calculator for your state/province. It's really helpful to see what the courts will give you and then you have a starting place. You can run different scenarios accounting for various visitation schedules.
Rally all the support you can get from your family and friends. Start putting together support networks with other parents. Read everything you can here =)
I'm sorry you're going through this, but life will be good on the other side =)
Robin~ single, work-at-home momma to my Wonderboys
BigKid (6/00) & LittleBoy (6/04)
You need to talk to your own attorney. It's also important to get all your financial information gathered up, copies saved etc. so you don't have to rely on him for this info.
Mama to three crazy kids and one crazier dog.