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#1 of 6 Old 01-29-2013, 09:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'll try to shorten this as best as possible.

2007 - Met B

2009 - Had DD with B & then married B

Jan 2011 - Huge, messy, bitter break up; he moves 300 miles away

Feb 2011 - I filed for divorce

Aug 2011 - divorce

Oct 2011 - He moves back to be around his daughter. We make amends and become amicable

Dec 2011 - We started "dating" again

 

In all of this time, we've had maybe a year cummulaltive that we were happy together. We've tried *everything* to make it work.

 

Finally came to the realization it's just not going to work. His MO is to get stressed out or angry and yell and punch objects (never has he laid a head on me though); my MO is to cry when stressed.

 

He said in anger about a month ago "How long do you stay with someone before you realize it's just a waste of time?" and I've realized he's right.

 

Cut to tonight when we both just realized. It's over. And instead of yelling and crying, we just had an amicable breakup jaw.gif

We just talked about who's paying what bills, who's going where, what we're doing in regards to our daughter. Talked every possible thing out. We're great, as friends, just being together is a heartache. I was sooooooo  dreading splitting up because I figured it would be like last time. I'm just in shock that it went smoothly....


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#2 of 6 Old 01-30-2013, 09:15 PM
 
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Things were like that with my ex. Until he got a GF. She loves the kids but hates me and things are no longer amicable. Forewarned is forearmed!


It's complicated.
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#3 of 6 Old 01-31-2013, 06:58 AM
 
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I agree with Learning_Mum. Things were great and amicable for us until the first girlfriend. The girlfriend moved in much sooner than I expected as well, so be warned and prepare for the worst, but hope for the best. It can get ugly fast, I know ours did.
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#4 of 6 Old 01-31-2013, 10:10 AM
 
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Its pretty much a roller coaster ride here.   Although in my case, he was much nicer when he had a girlfriend.   She kicked him out two weeks ago and he's been a raging idiot ever since.


Mama to three crazy kids and one crazier dog.  biggrinbounce.gif

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#5 of 6 Old 02-04-2013, 07:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm hoping for the best, preparing for the worst.

The only thing I'm worried about is that he's never been an adult, by himself. I have to drive him everywhere, do all his paperwork, wake him up or he'll sleep through his alarms. I'm like his mama. The last time we split, he had a live-in girlfriend take care of Kira. I already know I have the best custody the state will grant me at the moment (he legally only has vistation, but if he gets it together he's not a bad person and I would let him have half-time), so I'm not going to press for more.

I'm almost hoping he gets a girlfriend soon, or he's going to keep expecting me to do everything for him or alternatively, never get anything done. I love him enough to want good things for him, I just don't want to be together and neither does he. We are polar opposites and our ideas of success and happiness are never going to mesh. he thinks $ = :).  I could careless about money as long as I can take care of my kids.

The one good thing he has going is that he is one heck of a worker.


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#6 of 6 Old 02-07-2013, 08:55 PM
 
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Totally feel you on this one. My (about to be ex) husband and I broke up and then got back together (prior to married life), and just recently we have realized that things just do not work. It was amicable, as other have stated, then things started to explode (within the past two weeks). I hope that things remain amicable for you and your ex. Mine is also (basically) a man-child. He doesn't know how to pay any of his bills, he doesn't even know how to long onto our bank account. Over the course of our entire relationship he's been growing as a person - we just really want different things. I hope the best for you.

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