What did you do with your wedding band, if you had one? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 02-26-2013, 10:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My ring is sitting in my jewelry box.  My oldest wants it to play lord of the rings with, lol.  It's pretty but I obviously am not going to wear it again.  What did you do with yours - is it worth trying to resell it?


In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you." Buddha

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#2 of 18 Old 02-26-2013, 05:14 PM
 
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I thought I'd save my for my children with some of the wedding stuff, though I'm kind of on the fence about it.  I just don't know how meaningful it will be since the marriage didn't last.  But then, they were one great gift from the union, so it was significant.   Just not sure. I found their dad had left his on the top shelf in the bathroom (on purpose or forgetting, who knows).  So I have both rings.  

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#3 of 18 Old 02-27-2013, 08:25 AM
 
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I also ended up with both rings...I sold them both.  XH's was white gold so I sold his at a "We Buy Gold" type place.  I figure that $45 was better spent going out for dinner or something than sitting around perpetuating bad memories!

 

Mine was white gold with channel set diamonds.  In a weird kind of kharma, I ended up selling it for more than I paid for it!  I figured I paid for it originally so I might as well get some type of money back.


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#4 of 18 Old 02-27-2013, 11:20 PM
 
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There was a period where I wanted to smash it with a hammer.

 

At the moment it just sits with my other jewellery. I think. I haven't actually looked for a while! It's actually funny because though it's been three and a half years since we separated I am oddly sentimental about it now, even though things pretty much suck between us and have for a long time. 


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#5 of 18 Old 02-27-2013, 11:34 PM
 
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I put mine in my lock box, and put his there too. As far as I know, they're still there, but I haven't checked. They were cheap silver (~$20), so no real point in trying to sell them.


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#6 of 18 Old 02-28-2013, 02:09 AM
 
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I used to take mine off to do the dishes and put it on the little dinosaur statue by the sink  -  for now, it's still there. My ex is still wearing his, but on his right hand now. That hurts me a bit. And my hand looks very bare.

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#7 of 18 Old 02-28-2013, 09:07 PM
 
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My parents are divorced, and their marriage was very dysfunctional. I am in my late 30s and they divorced when I was very young. I wish I had one f their rings. There is one picture from their wedding day, a snapshot. I don't know who has it, but I would love to see it again. I would love to have anything from their marriage. I have no memories of them together.
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#8 of 18 Old 03-01-2013, 03:29 AM
 
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Jewelry isn't worth much resale.  I think I'll give he diamond ring to ds one day. It's not the real ring. Their dad traded it in for a bigger one that would compete with the co workers. The red ruby one I plan to give to dd. I love that one, but it has to many feelings tired up in it. The rest of the diamonds, I think I'll just keep.  But I admit I miss my ring.  It was a habit to tap the palm side on my coffee cup or rub with my thumb when nervous. I find myself going through the motions.

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#9 of 18 Old 03-01-2013, 09:48 AM
 
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I have given this much thought as we seperated nearly 3 years ago....and I was thinking that my engagement ring stone was real....found out when I went to sell it the 1 carat stone was fake, along with the tons of other jewelry he gave me.....another lie but anyway...here were my ideas please don't judge them...

 

My first idea was to take me and the kids away on a nice tropical vacation which is what I ultimately did try and sell them to do.

 

Another was to get a tattoo....a big floral one...as a sort of transformative process.

 

And lastly was to hire a male escort....not just sexual, not even sure it would have went there although it had been years ....but I wanted to be taken out for a whole night and truly be treated like a lady all around....a night of all about me.  I am sure you can understand the thought process on that one.

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#10 of 18 Old 03-01-2013, 06:22 PM
 
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Isn't it interesting how much wearing that ring just became a part of us?  I find it so strange to not wear mine either.  I actually didn't take it off for a while, just moved it to the other hand.  His came off the day he moved out.  That was really painful.  I used to turn it around my finger and find that I still do that even though it isn't there anymore.  I've thought of buying myself a really nice ring to replace it.  Maybe that would be something worthwhile to sell the other rings for.  

 

I don't think ours are worth much at all.  I had a tiny diamond but a beautiful design in the engagement ring.  It was hand engraved with my favorite flower.  I really loved that ring.  The funny thing is, I could hardly wear it because it would trap dirt and soap in a way that caused a skin reaction.  Seems kind of symbolic in a funny way.  I mostly just wore the wedding band without the diamond ring.  

 

Swede, I appreciate your thoughts on this as a child of divorced parents.  I think that is why I hesitate to get rid of the rings.  I'm hoping to create a positive picture for my girls around the marriage, even though it didn't work out.  I don't know what that story would be, but somehow really honor the marriage simply because they came out of it.      

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#11 of 18 Old 03-01-2013, 08:12 PM
 
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I don't usually post in this forum, but thought I'd share. I thought I'd keep mine for my girls. I kept it for six years. When I found myself remarried and pregnant, it felt odd to be holding onto my old ring. At that point I sold it. It wasn't worth too much, and I used the money to buy a few things for the new baby.

I speak well of the time I was married to their father, and I kept my wedding album. I completely understand holding onto things. I want them to know that they came from love even if we are no longer together.

Amanda, mom to dsd (16), dd (11), dd (8), and ds (born 11/12/11).
 

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#12 of 18 Old 03-03-2013, 08:06 PM
 
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I kept mine (and his) on a necklace for the 2 years we were separated, and then put it in my jewlery box after the divorce was finalized.  He screwed me in the last minute of the divorce settlement with some tricky wording and false promises (pretended to be on friendly terms, then stopped any and all contact with me as soon as I signed the divorce papers), so the following Christmas, instead of him helping me with Christmas like he promised, I sold the two rings for $120 and bought presents for my children, otherwise, they would have had no Christmas.


I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#13 of 18 Old 03-08-2013, 09:47 AM
 
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I sold mine and put the lump sum towards my new Jeep. :) $1200 is a huge payment.

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#14 of 18 Old 03-08-2013, 10:40 AM
 
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I just took my rings (4 in total) to a store. They are valued at over $11,000 total and they offered me $1,100. Does that sound right? I held onto the rings! I thought I would get at least $3,000 for them. If you sold yours, how did you sell them? To a jewelry store, a pawn shop or on ebay/Craigs List?

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#15 of 18 Old 03-11-2013, 11:33 AM
 
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Originally Posted by hillymum View Post

I just took my rings (4 in total) to a store. They are valued at over $11,000 total and they offered me $1,100. Does that sound right? I held onto the rings! I thought I would get at least $3,000 for them. If you sold yours, how did you sell them? To a jewelry store, a pawn shop or on ebay/Craigs List?

 

Yeah, that sucks sometimes.  My rings were valued at probably $5,000 and I was offered $450 (trade-in only) at a jewelry store.  angry.gif

 

So I held on to them, hoping some other option would turn up.

 

I got lucky though.  When DH bought my ring, the jewelry store offered $1,000 as a trade-in on the diamond band.  They didn't want the ring with the emerald so we sold it at an auction.  We made close to a $1,000 on that one as well.  However, this was in Europe...the supply / demand dynamic might be different for pre-owned jewelry there.


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#16 of 18 Old 03-20-2013, 07:18 PM
 
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I gave mine to him.  He kept them for years doing nothing with them until recently when he pawned everything for Christmas money for the kids, which is as it should be I suppose.  Still I'm kinda sad.  In a way I wish i'd kept them.


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#17 of 18 Old 03-26-2013, 12:15 PM
 
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When my first marriage ended, I gave mine to my ex to pass on to his mother, to hang on to for our daughter when she got older.  I wanted her to have something to remind her that we were happy and in love at one time.  They never even got to his mother before he claimed they were stolen.  He sold them.greensad.gif  I always swore that I would keep any jewelry for myself in the event of my second marriage breaking up, but as it turns out, I had to sell everything when he dug us into a massive financial pit.

 

To sell rings, I would suggest looking in the phone book or online for private jewelers.  They give the list price, or close to it, on both the metal AND the gems.  Pawn shops and similar places just pay by overall weight.  A pawn shop would give me maybe a hundred dollars if I begged, for a ring that cost a few thousand.  The private jeweler gave me over $600.00.  I've learned that jewelry is a terrible investment.  The jeweler gave me some good advice on buying and selling, and his number one rule was, NEVER buy retail, because you'll be paying the enormous markup price, and won't get a fraction of what it was bought for if you do have to sell it.


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#18 of 18 Old 03-27-2013, 12:48 PM
 
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I guess you could say I was wary of my marriage from the get-go - my wedding ring was a cheap $45 thing. It lasted the whole 12 years and got all bent and never re-shaped after a door fell on it. I'm sure I would have broken my finger if it weren't for that ring. That's one good thing about it. It's in the bottom of a plastic basket under my bathroom sink. I think.

 

If yours is worth anything, I'd sell it for sure. 

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