I need to get this out because it is burning me up and I am a peaceful person, but OY!!! My husband died over two years ago. I didn't date until this fall. I met an amazing dude. It was really whirlwind and serious. I thought I had met a life partner. Our relationship was fantastic. A month ago he went away for five days to present at a conference and came home with a total change of heart. It was like a light switch. I was really hurt, but I was under the assumption that his reality wasn't my reality and I completely understood. We're a heavy package, I get that. Kids, animals, a mortgage, dead husband, etc. Also, he has some emotional baggage of his own that he needs to address. We remained on friendly terms and started gardening together at my house amicably and had frequent communication. That was all fine until he came through my line at the Natural and Organic Food Coop where I work with his new and much younger lady. I knew they were friends, but I felt the vibe when I was checking them out. She babbled on to me in a very familiar way about my garden and kids, which kind of threw me, but when she suggested I buy compost from a mutual farmer friend of ours who uses fish guts, things took a seriously icy turn. I thanked her for the info, and told her, you know, I would pass it on to my other friends, but I'm not down with fish guts (my family is vegan). I swear the temp dropped fifty degrees and she says to me in a cold, snide tone, "Yeah, I guess you wouldn't now, would you." I was looking at my computer screen when she said that, I turned and looked at her and she was looking at me with such loathing it chilled me. I looked at my ex gentleman friend and he just shrugged. I was like, WTF. I am used to people hating on my veganism, but what in the hell was this all about. Awkward. I talked to him that evening and learned they are indeed in a complicated and casual relationship. He assured me nothing happened while we were together. Whatever. I'm a lady, but I was like, let me get this straight -- we have been done for less then a month, you still have belongings at my house, and you're fu*king someone else?! OMG. We were going to get married, we were actively involved in each other's families, etc, etc, etc. Not even one month and you're on to someone else. Mind blowing and heart breaking. He picked up the rest of his stuff soon after that conversation. We are still facebook friends and I saw a couple nights ago that he is "madly in love" and FINALLY found "satiety" for the first time in his life. Seriously. My heart is so heavy. I'm a pacifist, but I saw them yesterday together walking into my brother in law's brewery, laughing and holding hands, hair whipping in the wind (the whole nine yards) as I was driving the kids to Grandma's to watch while I worked. It felt like a knife to the gut. My hands tightened on the wheel and I really wanted to run them over. I'm not kidding. A woman scorned, right?! Jeez. I don't like feeling this way. I am so easy going and these emotions are really messing with me. Honestly, I'm not unreasonable, if he really found his true love, I am happy for him. Really and truly. Matters of the heart, right. That being said, I still can't help the way I am feeling. I am so hurt. I still really love him. I don't have much in the way of experience in love. I married young and we were together for a decade. This just blows me away! UH.