how did your kids handle transition to 50 50 things to make it easier? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 2 Old 06-09-2013, 07:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My kids have been cared for by myself in every single aspect of their lives since birth.

DH and Iare getting divorced and he is insisting on 50 50. In MA he will get it.

 

I need ideas on how to make this ok for my kids. They are 7 and 10.  VERY attached to me.

He is only the fun guy to them. and even that is recent. Most of their lives he has spent in front of his computer or out.

 

How did your kids survive this transition?

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#2 of 2 Old 06-10-2013, 05:48 AM
 
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Would your stbx be willing to do a step up plan?  Let's say that it is eow for 2 months with a dinner during the week. After two months, the dinner becomes an overnight, after two months you to to a 2/2/5/5 plan or something similar.  Eventually, you will get to a week on week off (WOWO) plan with a dinner for the other parent during the week.  What you can do now, if the two of you are still living together, is have him take over some of the day to day care. 

 

Also, will he be living in the same school district?  If he is going to live over  30 minutes away, I would discuss with your attorney how you can fight to keep your kids from having that long of a commute to school on his days.

 

I would also address how days off from school, whether from illness or snow, etc.., are to be handled.  Here is how I would handle it:

 

He wants them 50% of the time, on his days, if there is no school for whatever reason, he is the one who has to take off from work (this is going to be hard for you because you want to take care of your kids, but he's going to have to step up if he wants them 50% of the time).   This may actually make him think twice about his position.

 

Clothing, since he is going to have them 50% of the time, he will need to provide a wardrobe for his place.  No packing bags to go back and forth.  He's going to have actually go out and buy clothes for them at his place. 

 

Obviously, any prescription med will go back and forth. 

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