is it me? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 06-16-2013, 06:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am a lone single mom to a very energetic, funny, smart little dude, my 5 year old son's father is completely absent, my family lives in the uk, where I moved from ten years ago. I am 33 and a student and artist. I have lots of friends who are single parents but they have 50/50 custody with their ex, they have such fun lives, getting best of both worlds. I am feeling lonely and lately bitter and jealous. None of mu friends seem to understand how hard it is to not have any freedom for grown up time, they regularly ignore my invitations to come over after my son goes to bed to watch a movie or sit on my deck. I had a rare opportunity last night for a babysitter (money is impossibly tight) and my friend cancelled on me right as the sitter got here, so I went out feeling like a bit of a loser, had one glass of wine and came home. Then I end up feeling like I am overreacting in my hurt that this happens. I think my friends feel too much pressure on the importance of their company
for me so they avoid me. I would love some thoughts from others, I am just feeling sad, cornered and I'm beginning to think I'm going crazy.
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#2 of 4 Old 06-16-2013, 07:30 PM
 
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No, I totally hear you on that one. That was incredibly rude and selfish if your friend to cancel, especially since you had hired a babysitter!

Rebecca, mother of one beautiful girl born May 9, 2008, wife to Ben since June 30, 2007, and angel1.gif July 9, 2011.

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#3 of 4 Old 06-17-2013, 07:27 AM
 
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You're definitley not going crazy! Unfortunately it goes with the territory...it's hard not to feel a bit jealous when you see other friends sharing 50/50 and having the best of both worlds, but it may be a bit tough for you for a couple more years until your son might start going to sleep over birthday parties and stuff like that. Keep inviting your friends over for a chat, don't give up on trying! Do the most you can do to socialise, it's healthy for you to want to do that, but don't waste time comparing your situation to other people's, the grass in not always greener!
 

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#4 of 4 Old 06-17-2013, 04:27 PM
 
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Agreed.  I'd be pretty peeved if that were me but I applaud you for still going out and having a glass of wine.  Maybe next time(hopefully there won't be a next time) you should have your wine and then maybe take a trip to the bookstore to read by yourself for a while or maybe hit up Redbox for a movie.  Don't go home early just because someone bailed on you.  Enjoy your time away from your child so you can feel refreshed and recharged.  Going solo is tough work.  I've been there.


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