when to date with kids? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 07-25-2013, 10:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Do you guys ever feel like there's no time to find the 'right one?' My son has high functioning autism. He's 5. A ball of tantrums and anxiety. My other one is 2. Do you even get out of the house? I feel busy and im tied up with kids that i cant think of relationships. No family close.. Spouse died 1.5 yrs ago so I don't get the joint custody time away from my kids. They say a man will fall into your life when least expected. Yet my kids are always around me and kids make men turn into the fastest head turners....away from me. Lol. Jk. So how is it done?
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#2 of 7 Old 07-26-2013, 04:49 AM
 
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Well.........I've been separated from my exhusband for 6 years......and I've had one encounter with someone.  So yeah, it's not easy for me either.  I have 3 kids and I do have down time when they are with my ex.  I imagine you need to make it a priority to find a sitter and go out in order to meet people though.  I know how difficult that probably is.  I'm sorry.  I wish I could say someone was going to find you and give you everything you desire in life and make you blissfully happy.  But I've lost faith in that myself.


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#3 of 7 Old 07-26-2013, 12:38 PM
 
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it's all about on-line dating for me. Kinda like catalog shopping =)

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#4 of 7 Old 07-26-2013, 04:57 PM
 
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Online dating is terrifying. I have been divorced for 8 months. I made a profile on match the day the last bit of paperwork was sent to the judge, and went on my very first date in over a decade the day the judge signed the order. I've had my fair share of experiences in that time. This last one turned out to be a bit of a stalker (for real). Now I'm of the mindset that if I'm intended to meet someone, it will happen naturally. Privacy and safety are paramount, and online profiles have NOT helped in that area...like...at all.

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#5 of 7 Old 07-27-2013, 12:35 PM
 
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I worry a little bit about this too...I'm not nearly ready to date now, but can't really foresee how it will all work later either.  I have the kids most of the time, but when they are with their dad I'm pretty much working constantly to catch up. and I work from home, so it's not like I get out a lot :) 

 

I'm kind of of the opinion that if it's meant to be, it will be and somehow our paths will cross if I'm meant to be with someone, but ask me that again in a year or two....! 


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#6 of 7 Old 07-30-2013, 04:40 AM
 
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I said that too but here I am six years out from separation with I'm not with someone or even actively dating.

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#7 of 7 Old 08-04-2013, 02:29 PM
 
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I don't have time or money to date atm. I have my kids 6 days usually and no grandparents or anyone to take them off my hands so I can go out and date or do much of anything. When I first separated and the divorce was filed I was all gung ho on socializing and dating, signed up for online dating etc and meetup groups to get out, and met a few guys in real life and a couple from online dating, I dated someone seriously from a meetup group for a couple months right after the divorce, I broke it off with him due to drama etc. And it was so much work trying to get to see him. X and I had a morality clause so no partners were allowd to meet the kids for 6 months post divorce, and xdh and I both feel strongly about that and it is a verbal agreement we have about our kids, to protect them from getting attached to someone too quickly, crazy, creepers etc. Anyway, I then thought of getting back with the ex a couple months after that 1 relationship ended and that was when i realized i needed to walk, no, run from men! That was back in march, and now I can honestly say I am really feeling single and liking it. I am spending more time with the kids and that void for a man is kind of, gone. Funny though, I seem to be like a hawk about any guys that i find out are recently divorced that make come through in real life, but I AM DONE with online dating, something about it just rubs me the wrong way. I had a couple strange occurances where i had recognized guys profile pictures through OLD and meetup, and it is like they found out who I was and then made a point to find me on the other site or something, which is why i don't keep a picture on OLD sites, like, ever. I have scaled back on meetup as well. I only am active in a group or two, one is single parents but has a no dating 'rule' not sure if it is enforced or not. One thing about dating for me, is I am not working, I am student parent atm and living on spousal/child support, I hate having to explain that to dates, I don't want them thinking I am just lining up another man to pay my bills or something I was a sahm for my entire marriage, so finding a job to pay for my bills was not easy after that so I am back in school. I sometimes think there is a guy out there for me, I think he may not be ready for me, as I am not ready for him right now either, maybe in another year...when I am ready.


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