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#301 of 312 Old 09-06-2014, 08:59 AM
 
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This morning I started bleeding and cramping, its for sure too. I already had the heads up with the ultrasound, so I can't say I am shocked. I am still bummed though, I liked the prospect of being pregnant, but honestly I had a bad feeling from the start. Instinct sucks sometimes.

Ok, heading to bed. I will be trying again the cycle after this one completes. Looking forward to everyone's updates!

38 year old hopeful to be single mother by choice!
IUI #1 - Chemical 11/2013
IUI #2 - MC @ 5w 12/2013
IUI #8 - Blighted ovum @ 7w 9/2014
Trying again! Come on good egg!
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#302 of 312 Old 09-07-2014, 06:17 PM
 
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angeebaby, I'm sorry to hear this. Get some rest and take it easy.. I hope that good egg is right around the corner!

single mama to dd (June 2011)
#2 due December 2014!
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#303 of 312 Old 09-08-2014, 01:23 PM
 
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girlspn - thank you, I stayed home from work today, hoping today is the worst of it and I will be back to my old self soon. Continuous cramping but at least the bleeding is subsiding. Hopefully I don't have much longer of this.

I did some reading about overly receptive uteruses, they aren't able to discern a good egg from a bad one, takes all of them in! I kind of wonder if that is my case. I also did some reading on DHEA for over 35 women and how it cuts miscarriages in half (by helping pop out better quality eggs). I bought some yesterday, going to start on that and coq10 along with my daily vitamins. The studies all say the best effects are after 4 months. My next IUI will be in 6 weeks, hoping that is enough time to have some sort of positive impact!

38 year old hopeful to be single mother by choice!
IUI #1 - Chemical 11/2013
IUI #2 - MC @ 5w 12/2013
IUI #8 - Blighted ovum @ 7w 9/2014
Trying again! Come on good egg!
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#304 of 312 Old 09-08-2014, 09:15 PM
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Sorry to hear that Angeebaby. Thinking of you.
Have you mentioned your next move, Prescottchels? I'm behind and my computer is acting up tonight so I'll review but anything on the foster care situation?
How are you holding up, girlspn?

AFM, we're in the final week of living in an apartment and then traveling begins so I can start throwing money at IVF and other stuff rather than rent.
I'll check back in soon. Have a good week, all.

Single mama by choice to sonbabyf.gif 2/2011.
I love showing my little sweetheart (now a busy preschooler!) the world!

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#305 of 312 Old 09-10-2014, 09:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Big hugs to you, Angeebaby!

It's O time for me. Donor & I were sposed to meet up this evening but I never heard from him and my texts to him kept saying they weren't going through. Perhaps we'll try tomorrow... My temps are pretty low, but I don't think I've gotten a positive Ovulation test so maybe I still have another day...

Foster care is off the table for now, probably until I move to a bigger (real) house... maybe in a couple years? sigh. She finally got back to me saying that the house isn't big enough (which she thought wasn't an issue initially) that the mobile home park I live in isn't up to their standards, that the house has too many issues to fix and that I don't make enough money... All lame excuses in my book, but what do I know? I just want to love on a kid. It's so disappointing. I feel like I keep getting thwarted at every turn.

And as you know I'm caring for my friend's baby and he has had such a challenging time with all the transitions. Screaming bloody murder a lot, no matter what I do. I've cared for A LOT of children over the past 25 yrs and he's giving me a run for my money for sure! I always was told, "oh caring for children is great birth control!" which I always sort of resented...it was the complete opposite for me. It always made me want my own even more, til this little one came along lol I'm starting to see that other perspective now, more clearly...
Last night my best friend said you know if you think you don't want to get pregnant now you probably will lol

ETA: right after posting this last night, donor got in touch w/me and we were able to meet up so here goes another TWW!

Former Nanny Extraordinaire, looking forward to being a Mama! treehugger.gif I love Organizing & being a Health & Wellness Coach eat.gif & I'm crunchy granola as long as it's organic and certified gluten free. GF since March '08 yummy.gif. Willoughby Nov '11  cat.gif TTC #1-still, again, some more, & seriously pondering adoption. 

Last edited by prescottchels; 09-11-2014 at 10:03 AM.
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#306 of 312 Old 09-11-2014, 01:52 PM
 
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Prescottchels - excited for you! I logged back in hoping for an update on your donor! Woohooo! Well, I think crazy crying kiddo is going to have a positive effect on your fertility too!

Sorry to hear about the negative feedback from the foster care lady. Sometimes it really isn't up to them, there is probably some rule that says rooms must be x sq ft. I'm sure its frustrating from her perspective too, knowing the faces of the kids that need a place to stay. Hang in there, I think things will work out!

Afm - I'm doing much better. Feeling very fertile! Skipping this cycle and aiming for October. I am contemplating two vials this time around, an ici at 12 hrs post opk followed by an iui at 24 hrs. I don't think it would make much difference, and I can only afford to try 2 once! But i guess I just want to experiment a bit. Who knows!

I have new dates lined up to distract me. So far only emailing but I will start the meetings this coming week! Gotta keep living! They seem very nice, so even a nice evening out isn't a waste.
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#307 of 312 Old 09-12-2014, 10:53 AM
 
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So I changed my mind again, hah! I will be trying another IUI next week. That will be my first ovulation after MC. I actually think its best to wait a month, but from everything I am reading, the whole debate about added fertility after MC vs waiting, I sort of don't think it makes that much of a difference. So in the thought of moving forward, I am going to go for it. My ovulation should be Wednesday, but it could be off this time around. After the previous MC, it got pushed out 3 days, not too different.

38 year old hopeful to be single mother by choice!
IUI #1 - Chemical 11/2013
IUI #2 - MC @ 5w 12/2013
IUI #8 - Blighted ovum @ 7w 9/2014
Trying again! Come on good egg!
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#308 of 312 Old 09-13-2014, 06:06 PM
 
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prescottchels, I'm sorry to hear about that foster care might not work out, but glad to hear you got in touch with your donor in time!!

angeebaby, good luck! I conceived my dd the cycle following an early m/c. Ovulation date was just later that's all. Doctors all told me to wait 3 months though.

esg, I'm holding up okay. I'm at 27w now and trying to figure out what I need to prepare before the arrival of baby this time, as I have to take care of my daughter too.

single mama to dd (June 2011)
#2 due December 2014!
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#309 of 312 Old 09-15-2014, 06:09 PM
 
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Hi ladies,

Well, I am feeling very tired! I had a friend visiting from California this weekend, so I played tour guide and was on my feet pretty continuously. On Saturday she sort of hinted that she wanted to do something in the evening, and I finally had to admit my body was just not back 100% from the miscarriage. I did so much that I started getting mild cramps again. Slept super early yesterday, so I feel much better today. I will hit the sack early again tonight.

I've begun OPK testing a couple days ago (although that would be early for me normally). I still have to test this evening (peed as soon as I got home, forgetting that I needed to test!!), normally it goes positive on day 12, which is tomorrow. My shipment arrives tomorrow by noon. Hoping OPK goes positive sooner than later so I don't have to keep testing so much. That's the part that stresses me out most! You would think the 2ww would be, but there's nothing I can do during that time. I generally will test positive only once, so I am always stressed that I will miss that one test and that would be my indicator!

I went on a super boring date on Sunday. Very very nice guy, but he talked about everything except what it is that he likes to do in life, and asked me all sorts of irrelevant questions, and not what I wanted/liked/etc etc. But that's ok, thats why I wanted to meet up anyhow. I have 2 other boys I have had some very deep interesting conversations with. One lives about 45 minutes away, I think about the day to day effort in commuting. BUT, he is divorced, and had 7 years of dealing with infertility (they never had kids ultimately). So he is not shocked or weirded out by my plan. Which is nice. I will probably meet him Saturday.

girlspn- I am so excited for you! Hmm.. do you still have a crib from your first? Is she in a big girl bed yet? That could be a good transition time if she needs to make the change! Is your daughter excited? I forget, are you expecting a girl this time?

prescottchels - How are you feeling? Hopefully, if my ovulation comes soon enough, we can share part of our TWW together!

38 year old hopeful to be single mother by choice!
IUI #1 - Chemical 11/2013
IUI #2 - MC @ 5w 12/2013
IUI #8 - Blighted ovum @ 7w 9/2014
Trying again! Come on good egg!
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#310 of 312 Old 09-15-2014, 07:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm only 5 days in to my TWW (which is usually more like 3), Angeebaby so there's plenty of time lol jump on board the crazy train ;-)

Former Nanny Extraordinaire, looking forward to being a Mama! treehugger.gif I love Organizing & being a Health & Wellness Coach eat.gif & I'm crunchy granola as long as it's organic and certified gluten free. GF since March '08 yummy.gif. Willoughby Nov '11  cat.gif TTC #1-still, again, some more, & seriously pondering adoption. 
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#311 of 312 Old 09-16-2014, 12:55 AM
 
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angeebaby, it's cool that you are meeting men who can accept your plans. How do you meet them? I can't imagine having the time or energy to date at this point, even though I wouldn't mind some adult company and conversations.

I've been co-sleeping with my dd since birth, so she never had a crib. I found it much easier not having to get up for night nursing. The second baby will join us on the floor bed. I'm thinking of transitioning dd to her own bed maybe next year if she's ready. We moved to a different country this year, she just started preschool, and with a new sister (yes, it's a girl!) on the way, that may be enough adjustments for this year.

single mama to dd (June 2011)
#2 due December 2014!
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#312 of 312 Old 09-16-2014, 08:13 PM
 
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Hey girlspn - I like your co-sleeping idea, I will probably do that myself. I understand all the stresses you have been through this year and totally agree with you about keeping your daughter close. We didn't grow up with the 'family bed' per se, but really, until we were much older (pushing 12) we all still slept with my parents when we needed/wanted to. I don't think there is anything strange about it.

As for dating, I have been trying to stay active (kickball this summer, going out to meetups and cultural events) but really I find the easiest and most productive ways of meeting guys is through online dating. I don't spend a lot of time and I am quite picky about who I will even email, but even relationships that haven't worked, or even turned into dating, have all been very nice guys, so I really can't say anything bad. At this point, yes, I am trying to get pregnant (and have!) but I really don't know how long it will be, if ever, that I get to have my own kiddo. So I feel like I just have to keep living life in the meantime. Even the few months of dating the last guy was really fun, sorry it didn't work out with him (but he was becoming an ass, so its quite alright), but it helped me be not so over focused on TTC.

The second guy I have been emailing I finally talked to on the phone last night. He is definitely higher energy and more talkative than me (and I can talk A LOT.. i mean, look at all this writing!!) and I am more of a mellow person at home, so we will have to see. But he has a little girl that he totally loves, and I think he will be very receptive to me having a kiddo of my own (although I haven't been as direct with him as the first one about it). I put in my profile that I am ready for a family, I am open to adopting, fostering or having my own and taking action on those right now. So, they know!

I know my energy level will change once I am pregnant, and again once I have a kiddo, so I am using the available time to possibly meet someone worthwhile. Once my kiddo arrives, my priorities will change. I would be willing to include someone who has made a positive impact on my life, but not bother if the right person isn't there.

Still OPK testing. So far negatives. Was really hoping I would get one tonight, but I guess I knew it could be a couple days later. I have an event at work Thursday night that I was looking forward to going to. That means my opk can go positive tonight, tomorrow morning or the following morning. But if it hits tomorrow afternoon or evening, I can't go to the event I of course won't miss my ovulation for anything though. This is where our way is just so much more difficult. Outside of us here, I don't think many people understand the hoops that we jump through.

38 year old hopeful to be single mother by choice!
IUI #1 - Chemical 11/2013
IUI #2 - MC @ 5w 12/2013
IUI #8 - Blighted ovum @ 7w 9/2014
Trying again! Come on good egg!
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