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#331 of 341 Old 10-06-2014, 05:09 PM
 
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esg, your son is adorable in that picture. How is the traveling going?

prescottchels, sorry about AF I'd just keep on trying... would you consider using those clearblue digital opk? They cost more but they worked a lot better for me than wondfros. My charts showed that I ovulated the day after I got smiley faces. I never got conclusive dark lines on the wondfros.

angeebaby, fingers crossed for you! The last days are the hardest. What kind of jobs are you looking for?

AFM, two of my cousins recently delivered their second babies last week. I've forgotten how small newborns are and the sleep deprivation in the early months. It's starting to hit home that I'm going into this alone this time and I'm getting anxious! Most of my relatives and family members think this baby is from my ex husband, and that I'd unfortunately conceived after we divorced, and I didn't bother correcting anybody who I'm not close to. Everyone is kind of tiptoeing around me.

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#2 due December 2014!

Last edited by girlspn; 10-06-2014 at 05:10 PM.
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#332 of 341 Old 10-06-2014, 06:44 PM
 
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Well, I still haven't gotten a BFP, it is day 14 today. I was looking at my calendar, and making personal observations, and I think my period is coming and my cycle is just really stretched out. Ovulation even came on day 17.. my usual is day 12 or 13! And honestly, I have perfect skin and no boob pain or changes. I do still have ab pain, but that could be my hormones/uterus still adjusting from the miscarriage. I am on cycle day *31*.. my cycles never go past 24-25 days. I think I just got over excited without thinking about my body needing to get back to normal. I am not really holding out hope for a BFP, just wish AF would arrive so I can mentally and physically move on.

girlspn - I understand about the family, and the unspoken words. My family doesn't know anything about what I am doing. I will just magically appear pregnant/with a kid and they won't say anything either. I am not close to them at all anyhow, so it'll be some time before they even find out. I wish I could be honest, but really I don't think they'd understand where I am coming from anyway, plus they aren't exactly an understanding bunch (all pretty negative). Which is funny, because I have been open and honest with other people in my life, even dates! Does your ex hb know about the donor? Let everyone assume what they want. Also,when I observe my friends who are married, I don't really see their husbands helping with the babies. I don't think doing things on your own will be anymore different than in a relationship. Only upside to the relationship is financial, and sometimes that isn't true.

As far as jobs, I work in IT, specifically information security. You'd think with IT work Id be able to find a telecommuting job or a flexible schedule, but it really isn't the case. They still want everyone 8-5, and really all the jobs are a good 45 minutes to an hour away. I am not looking forward to the job change.

I am wondering how I will be able to do inseminations once I am working. The one good thing is I've decided I will do insems anytime between +opk and 20 hours, so that gives me some flexibility. I did a bunch of charting and waiting til 24 hours is too late for me. I think I am ovulating just after my positive opks. Plus, aiming for exactly 24 hours drives me crazy, so I think this will be better.

prescottchels - how have you been doing? I still gotta make it up to prescott before it gets cold!! I hope you are feeling better, I am thinking of you.

esg - your travels sound pretty awesome to me, and what a treat to make memories with your little man

38 year old hopeful to be single mother by choice!
IUI #1 - Chemical 11/2013
IUI #2 - MC @ 5w 12/2013
IUI #8 - Blighted ovum @ 7w 9/2014
Trying again! Come on good egg!
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#333 of 341 Old 10-07-2014, 04:16 AM
 
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Af has arrived. I had a hunch it was coming and made peace with it yesterday. Question is now, with the layoff and then a nrw job, at what point do i try again. Gotta think on that one.
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#334 of 341 Old 10-11-2014, 08:46 PM
 
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angeebaby-- sorry about AF, are you trying again this cycle?

My ex-husband doesn't know that I'm pregnant. He was out of touch for some months, and nowadays calls dd on Sundays. We barely talk about anything except dd. The topic hasn't come up, although I'm sure it will soon since dd talks about her baby sister all the time now.

A couple of weeks ago, dd asked, 'who is baby sister's papa?'. I was surprised that she just knows her father is hers and not her sister's. She was satisfied when I confirmed her sister's father is not her papa, and left it at that. I realize I'm going to need to have some explanations or story ready soon.

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#2 due December 2014!
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#335 of 341 Old 10-12-2014, 09:09 PM
 
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girlspn - It's ok, its funny, as much as I have super anxiety about AF arriving, as soon as it does, I seem to get over it quickly. Now, considering the layoffs coming at work, I will be skipping any cycles until I get a new job. It will be hard enough being a single mama, but being pregnant and trying to find a job wouldn't be good either (of course companies discriminate, even though they say they don't).

There is a book I am going to get, I think it is good for all families, not just us single mama families. But it talks about how all sorts of families are different, some families live close together, some live far apart, some only have a mom, some only have a dad, some have 2 mamas, or 2 daddies, or just aunts or grandparents. It is nice and simple and helps kids know that every family is different, but that they all love each other. It might be a good way to introduce things to your daughter
Amazon Amazon

One idea I read about, and I like and may use myself (if I happen to be single) is to explain that most mama's get a papa and then get a baby, but I wanted a baby so bad, that I couldn't wait for a papa. Maybe I will find a really good papa later on. Then they feel very special and wanted, and clearly understand there isn't a papa yet and why.

People are so confused by what you can do or not do anymore medically, that I just refer to what I am doing as "fertility treatments." You can tell only a few people understand what it means, most people are immediately lost and skip to, how long have you been trying? It is like they are instantly on the hoping it works bandwagon. If you have to bring it up w your exhusband, you could even use that avenue. If he wants to know the details, and you feel comfortable, you could be super technical so that his mind spins hahah. But I think fertility treatments tends to end the conversation (unless they are interested or really do care, in a positive sense).

Well, I had an almost date earlier in the week. On my dating profile, I very very clearly mention that I am working to be a single mother either by fostering, adopting or having my own. It is front and center, no missing it. Well, almost date guy and I had great email exchanges, i mean really great. Then we are making plans to meet up and im looking through all his questions (theres a few hundred, so I hadn't gotten to them all yet), and suddenly in spots where it asks if you are ok if your partner has kids from another relationship, or would you feel comfortable being a step parent, anything related to kids, he answers, I do not have and do not want any kids. I do not want a relationship with anyone that has kids. So i then ask him about that, considering my statement is front and center, and he says, oh yea, I was waiting to talk about that. Puh-leeze.. jerk. He explained that he was so excited talking with me that he didnt want it to end. I am hardly his freaking entertainment.

The other weird thing is, the same day I got his email, I got an email from another guy who clearly said he was fascinated by my wanting a family, and hes sort of in the same spot now too. He asked me lots of questions and I just put it all out there, what made me want to try and why I wanted a kid of my own and how I really felt ready to just have my family. He was just so sweet and interested. Well we met up for lunch today and ended up talking for almost 4 hours (my voice went out and he said his butt fell asleep, so we had to finally get up to leave) We had a good time. It is really hard for me to gauge whether someone is really interested or not. And I think i have been doing so many first dates lately, that I can't even tell how I feel myself. But the conversation was super interesting and I had a good time. Who knows!! If we have a second date, cool, and if we don't, I am going to hang the dating hat up for a bit. I am tired and overwhelmed with everything (TTC, dating, finding a new job, selling my old house, just too much)!

Can't wait for your baby girl to get here!!! I am so excited and happy for you

Last edited by angeebaby; 10-12-2014 at 09:10 PM.
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#336 of 341 Old 10-13-2014, 12:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey ya'll!
I'm in another TWW. My BFF made me power through to keep trying ;-) AF is due around the 25th so I'm still just at the beginning. I have no sense yet about this cycle-really haven't been giving it much thought.
I've been knitting up a storm the past few days and watching lots of tv lol I love that shows are coming off hiatus!!
For kicks I searched the MLS for 3 bedroom houses for sale here and found one close(r) to my BFF that I'm fantasizing about buying. I'm thinking about calling to get an appointment for a walk through tomorrow! I need external motivation to get my biz going more so I really can move in the next year or two. This place is just too small.

Angeebaby-sorry about AF! Poooooo, but glad to hear that it sounds like you're in an ok place with it. You do have a lot on your plate!!
Your most recent date sounds like my last partner lol He was super interested in my story about wanting to be a SMC and really wanted kids too and we came up with this plan that backfired big time because he secretly wanted it to be different than what we talked about and angled for me to change my tune, which obviously didn't work cuz we broke up a year ago this summer and I had to unfriend and block him on FB cuz he was so heartbroken he was getting a little stalkerish. oy. Soooo not to scare you from chatting, cuz it is nice to be that open, but beware...
It's perfect temps up here, btw ;-) And the leaves are changing...

Girlspn my family doesn't know I'm TTC either, except my dad who is pretty supportive and sweet about it. I wish I could talk to my aunts on my mom's side about it, but they can't keep their lips zipped unfortunately and my mom SO does not get to know until I'm a few months along so I have my close friends IRL and you guys Of course, everyone knows that I intended to start trying back in '09, but they don't know any of the story leading up to now... I've been blogging about it ever since I started trying but no one has the address lol It's more so it's all in one place for me (so far) and not a bunch of scattered journal entries in 5 different notebooks! It's kinda fun to go back and read through it and add new chapters as they arise.

Just for fun... this is one of the projects I finished yesterday! Baby hat for one of my acquaintance friends and her partner who's a co-worker.

Former Nanny Extraordinaire, looking forward to being a Mama! treehugger.gif I love Organizing & being a Health & Wellness Coach eat.gif & I'm crunchy granola as long as it's organic and certified gluten free. GF since March '08 yummy.gif. Willoughby Nov '11  cat.gif TTC #1-still, again, some more, & seriously pondering adoption. 

Last edited by prescottchels; 10-13-2014 at 12:40 AM. Reason: Pic didn't attach
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#337 of 341 Old 10-13-2014, 10:23 AM
 
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prescottchels - yayyy!!! so glad you moved forward with another cycle! I'd take advantage of the opportunity, definitely! Less than two weeks in the tww, yippeee!!

I am not worried about being open or sharing. If I wanted to just settle for a guy and get knocked up, I could have done that anytime over the last 20 years (including during my marriage). I just never felt like any guy I was with was good dad material. However, regardless of how a child comes into my life, I am looking for a man that would be an excellent partner, and male role model for my child. I wouldn't be opposed to having a kid with them either. Enthusiasm definitely isn't a negative to me. I am not worried if the right guy doesn't come along and honestly, not worried if my TTC plans don't even pan out. It is one avenue in life that I would like to experience, but there are many facets about me that are just as great that I can move forward and be fulfilled with.

I stayed home from work today so I could clean my office. Of course, it is now 1030, and I have yet to begin. Damnit. Going to use my stationary bike super quick so I can get my exercise time in and then get in the office!!
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#338 of 341 Old 10-14-2014, 01:21 PM
 
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Angeebaby: So sorry to hear about your last pregnancy and AF. good luck for next time.


prescottchels: good luck with tww!


esg: enjoy your travels sounds exciting.


girlspn: hope your doing well not long till dec now.


afm: I'm OK up and down emotionally. still sick sometimes but pleased to be past 12 weeks.


I've told most people and it's fab how excited everyone is for me. I'm also surprised by how uncurious everyone has been. Very few people have asked me about the babies father (except at work). I don't know if everyone assumes it's my ex's or what.

Missing my dh everyday candle.gif and hoping there is a brighter future for me out there

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#339 of 341 Old 10-15-2014, 07:09 AM
 
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silverbird, when are you due?

prescottchels, glad to hear you're continuing on! That's nice that your dad is supportive. The family members that know about the donor think I should have waited to find another husband, lol.

angeebaby, what you are saying makes so much sense to me now after my marriage ended. I grew up in a traditional family that believed women's only goal in life is to get married, and always wondered why I couldn't meet the right guy. Now that I'm past 30 and single, and feel like I'm at a better place now than ever, all that anxiety seems so silly. Your attitude towards it all is awesome.

I have insomnia these days and am a zombie in the daytime. I have forgotten how sleep deprived feels like..

single mama to dd (June 2011)
#2 due December 2014!
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#340 of 341 Old Yesterday, 09:08 AM
 
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Silverbird - so excited for you! I am glad you are at the point where you can share with people you know, makes it so real and exciting! I think the news of babies just makes people happy, only the nosy ones ask too many questions.

Girlspn - the more I'm dating lately, the more disappointed in finding a partner I get, hah! It is making it easier to let go of the idea. Everyone has been super nice, but I cant help thinking, really? This is the best you have to offer me?

Afm- just waiting around for a job. Really am wondering if I shouldn't do a temporary contract position until I have a kiddo, then just go find a full-time job after I have a kiddo. I put in about 9 job applications this week, so I might as well wait to hear back. So far I've only heard from the job that is the furthest drive away, of course!

I tested this morning, positive opk. Feels like a such a wasted egg and cycle. My timing is back to normal after this past mc though.
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#341 of 341 Old Today, 06:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ahhhh Silverbird! You've hit a great milestone in your pregnancy! Congrats!!

Girlspn-are you getting exercise regularly and/or daily sunshine? That should help w/the insomnia as well as a magnesium supplement like natural calm before bed.

Yesterday I was convinced I'm pregnant lol and today not so much. AF is due Saturday ish so as always we shall see...

Former Nanny Extraordinaire, looking forward to being a Mama! treehugger.gif I love Organizing & being a Health & Wellness Coach eat.gif & I'm crunchy granola as long as it's organic and certified gluten free. GF since March '08 yummy.gif. Willoughby Nov '11  cat.gif TTC #1-still, again, some more, & seriously pondering adoption. 
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