Ok, and here is my book on my first day of foster class. I'm actually reposting from a diff forum (I'm on my phone, so I hate to retype! ), so there is a little bit more about infant adoption mixed in here:
The infant foster/adopt is not a special program here. Unfortunately there are over 17000 kids in foster care in Az, I believe its either the #1
state w the greatest % of children in out of home (foster, group home, kinship) care. The state has only 6 million residents, so that is an exceptionally high number. About 20% of those kids are infants. You think they'd go quickly, but there's more time/energy investment and daycare costs after adoption, so they actually dont place as quickly as toddler/older kids. They often stay in the hospital, group home or homeless shelter until they can find infant homes. That just kills me.
Class was uncomfortable. They packed 40+ people in a room with too many seats for the tables, It was hot, a bit unorganized. it felt like torture the whole time.
Then talking to some people, like the young m/f couple who aren't married but want to adopt together, but the prospective dad keeps mentioning how he has no interest in letting this cut into his video game time (no joke, he was very serious).
Mostly sad though, a whole lot of relatives that just got a knock on the door one night, and a year later, they are adopting 5 kids.
They had a game where some people got a parent card w a description. Mine said I was able to take a special needs child who could someday live independently. Then you find people with kid cards that are your match. First I found a guy that had a card for a kid w aspergers. So I thought we were a match, but then a girl had her card that said specifically, special needs but able to live alone someday. So I "switched kids".
Well at the end of the activity, there were 3 people w kid cards that couldn't find a match. One of them was the guy w the aspergers card. Then the speaker asked how that felt, and they said lonely, like they had been rejected, that they don't belong anywhere. So of course you know everyone is empathizing w that emotion, the room turned very sad.
I certainly hope I get a bfp, this cycle or sometime soon, but this has turned into more than a backup plan for me (I can admit, that's what it started off as). Regardless of me being able to get pregnant, I am going to follow through w this. If anything, I can help an infant have a good safe start to life, and be there for them forever if they have no one else. if i decide on any siblings, I will go through this adoption program.
Hoping all the classes don't just make me feel bad/sad, I'm hoping for some positives from it! 5 more Saturdays to go, its 30 hrs total.