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#121 of 250 Old 03-12-2014, 12:48 PM
 
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girlspn, Have you had your hormones checked? I've heard of REs saying stop breastfeeding and others saying that it makes no difference. I'm not sure either way. Yep, a double IUI is two inseminations, one is done the next day. I requested the second. There's a very small increase in chances but I thought it was worth it so I went with it. Its no extra charge at my clinic.

 

 

No, I haven't...my doctor is an ob/gyn and that's the best I can find in my isolated area. I had my dd with ex-husband, and we had infertility issues. Back then I had PCOS and very irregular cycles, but all my hormones were fine. 

 

My dr is neutral on the breastfeeding... he thinks my follicles growing slowly is related to that, but he didn't say I should wean. My dd is just not ready to wean, and I take the fact that I'm having monthly cycles as a sign that I'm fertile/ovulating. I even have EWCM, which I never had before dd was born. Anyway, I'm working to cut nursing sessions, especially at night. She's almost 3 already. 

 

Did you use a sperm bank? I didn't go with double IUI because my doctor is sure that 1 is enough. The topic of a 2nd IUI didn't even come up. I'm meeting my dr next week on CD 10, and I want to ask how I can increase my chances this round. 


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#122 of 250 Old 03-12-2014, 12:53 PM
 
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@readergirl925, Mikki's book discusses those issues re known donors. The way she wrote seems to me that she prefers known or openID donors so the child has options for knowing the father, even though she makes all the parenting decisions. 
 
I don't know any known donors in my area, and the one I do know would be fine has too many partners for my liking. Given the potential issues, I decided on donor insemination.

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#123 of 250 Old 03-12-2014, 12:56 PM
 
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prescottchels, good luck to you!! I want to be more chill about the 2ww, the one that just passed was stressful.

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#124 of 250 Old 03-12-2014, 01:33 PM
 
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Knock yourself up was the first SMC book I read. Really got me thinking. There's a tiny clinic with willing to be known donor semen but everything there seems to be 10+ years old. So the donors will be older now and not necessarily in the same place in his life being available to be available. I was going to go with the willing to be known donor until I learned of the time lag. Part of my reason for wanting known though is previous children with their father.
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#125 of 250 Old 03-12-2014, 06:16 PM
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No, I haven't...my doctor is an ob/gyn and that's the best I can find in my isolated area. I had my dd with ex-husband, and we had infertility issues. Back then I had PCOS and very irregular cycles, but all my hormones were fine. 

 

My dr is neutral on the breastfeeding... he thinks my follicles growing slowly is related to that, but he didn't say I should wean. My dd is just not ready to wean, and I take the fact that I'm having monthly cycles as a sign that I'm fertile/ovulating. I even have EWCM, which I never had before dd was born. Anyway, I'm working to cut nursing sessions, especially at night. She's almost 3 already. 

 

Did you use a sperm bank? I didn't go with double IUI because my doctor is sure that 1 is enough. The topic of a 2nd IUI didn't even come up. I'm meeting my dr next week on CD 10, and I want to ask how I can increase my chances this round. 

 

I don't think you should wean either if she's not ready. My son wasn't ready till he was just over two. It doesn't sound like its wreaking havoc on your cycle to continue nursing if you're ovulating.

 

I did use a sperm bank - CLI. If I can find the links I read on the increase of a double IUI, I'll post them.


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#126 of 250 Old 03-13-2014, 11:40 AM
 
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Thanks esg.

 

I only have 1 vial left for this upcoming IUI. The shipping costs almost a thousand dollars to my location, so trying to figure out how many vials to order is a little tricky. 

 

How has it been being an SMC for you? Does your LO ask about daddy?


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#127 of 250 Old 03-13-2014, 01:13 PM
 
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girlspn, that sucks that shipping is so much.  I hope you're able to figure out a way to get the vials to you without it costing too much.

 

Am I the only one who goes through days of "I can do this!" and days of "Crap.  I can't do this."  I'm still in the thinking stage, is that normal?


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#128 of 250 Old 03-13-2014, 07:21 PM
 
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readergirl925, I think it's normal to have those days. But I would say those feelings are similar in marriage and those big life events. If you know in your heart it is the right choice, you'll go through with it despite of the challenges. Because you know it'll be worth it. 

 

I started the process already for a few reasons. First, I'm not in my 20s anymore, and I know that fertility treatment success rates is age dependent. Second, my dd from my ex-h is already almost 3, and I hope the age gap between kids would not be so many years. Also, it wouldn't be too late for more if it came down to that.


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#129 of 250 Old 03-13-2014, 07:23 PM
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Thanks esg.

 

I only have 1 vial left for this upcoming IUI. The shipping costs almost a thousand dollars to my location, so trying to figure out how many vials to order is a little tricky. 

 

How has it been being an SMC for you? Does your LO ask about daddy?


Wow. Where are you? With shipping being much less than that, I still can't think of how many to order for next time. How did you have your first child?

 

It's good so far. I thought it would have been harder or at least a little different but its been good for us. What about you?

My son is in the stage where he identifies each person's role so he talks about dads and moms and girls and boys but not so much about having a dad of his own. He used to be in the stage where he was figuring out who had what role and for a while I was dad which I thought was funny but nothing I'm concerned with. Have you had that question yet?


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#130 of 250 Old 03-14-2014, 02:20 AM
 
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Wow. Where are you? With shipping being much less than that, I still can't think of how many to order for next time. How did you have your first child?

 

It's good so far. I thought it would have been harder or at least a little different but its been good for us. What about you?

My son is in the stage where he identifies each person's role so he talks about dads and moms and girls and boys but not so much about having a dad of his own. He used to be in the stage where he was figuring out who had what role and for a while I was dad which I thought was funny but nothing I'm concerned with. Have you had that question yet?

 

I live on an island in the Micronesia. I felt really lucky there's a clinic here, and that a sperm bank actually shipped here, vs having to fly somewhere for the procedures. Still, the shipping cost is steep.

 

My first child was from my ex husband. He doesn't live here anymore, but my daughter still remembers him and asks about him. All the books we have also reminds her of her father. It's not the same as having never met the father, which would be the case for my next child. Do you talk to him or his teachers about how he was conceived? 


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#131 of 250 Old 03-15-2014, 08:42 AM
 
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Am I the only one who is figuring out what kind of car seat and co sleepers and cloth diapers I want to use before I even get pregnant?  LOL I must have spent 3 hours last night looking around amazon and the internet in general for info on cloth diapers, car seats etc.  I'm not crazy, I swear.


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#132 of 250 Old 03-15-2014, 10:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Readergirl-the only time I think I can't do this is after AF comes & I'm so bummed I can't imagine wanting to try again after so many tries. But I think many thinkers go through that waffling back & forth. I never did, but I'm fiercely independent & confident in my ability to parent AND to ask for help and support when I need it from supportive friends.  

I do the same thing-shopping and learning about baby products and I'm not pregnant yet either lol Been doing that for years and I even created a private Amazon wish list for baby stuff that I want to remember to get or ask for when the time comes :wink  I think it helps make it feel more real or attainable or something... 

 

girlspn-there was just a thread in the yahoo group about talking to teachers regarding the child's family/conception and that it'd be great if the class is doing something dad centered to make it more about who their closest male influence is whether it's grandpa, uncle, friend, whoever... 
 

AFM-I'm out :(  banghead.gif  AF started last night-grrrr


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#133 of 250 Old 03-15-2014, 12:14 PM
 
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So sorry Prescottchels.
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#134 of 250 Old 03-15-2014, 12:18 PM
 
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Am I the only one who is figuring out what kind of car seat and co sleepers and cloth diapers I want to use before I even get pregnant?  LOL I must have spent 3 hours last night looking around amazon and the internet in general for info on cloth diapers, car seats etc.  I'm not crazy, I swear.

 

I was like that before my first pregnancy. I'm not doing it too much before I get pregnant... fear of jinxing myself, lol. But I like to discuss with other like-minded mothers/pregnant women for ideas. I had my dd outside the US, so there are supplies I would need to get for #2 that dd didn't have. 


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#135 of 250 Old 03-15-2014, 12:18 PM
 
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prescottchels, I am sorry :(


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#136 of 250 Old 03-15-2014, 02:27 PM
 
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Readergirl-the only time I think I can't do this is after AF comes & I'm so bummed I can't imagine wanting to try again after so many tries. But I think many thinkers go through that waffling back & forth. I never did, but I'm fiercely independent & confident in my ability to parent AND to ask for help and support when I need it from supportive friends.  

I do the same thing-shopping and learning about baby products and I'm not pregnant yet either lol Been doing that for years and I even created a private Amazon wish list for baby stuff that I want to remember to get or ask for when the time comes :wink  I think it helps make it feel more real or attainable or something... 

 

girlspn-there was just a thread in the yahoo group about talking to teachers regarding the child's family/conception and that it'd be great if the class is doing something dad centered to make it more about who their closest male influence is whether it's grandpa, uncle, friend, whoever... 
 

AFM-I'm out :(  banghead.gif  AF started last night-grrrr

I'm so sorry, :(


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#137 of 250 Old 03-18-2014, 08:59 AM
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I live on an island in the Micronesia. I felt really lucky there's a clinic here, and that a sperm bank actually shipped here, vs having to fly somewhere for the procedures. Still, the shipping cost is steep.

 

My first child was from my ex husband. He doesn't live here anymore, but my daughter still remembers him and asks about him. All the books we have also reminds her of her father. It's not the same as having never met the father, which would be the case for my next child. Do you talk to him or his teachers about how he was conceived? 

 

Oh wow. How do you like it out there?

Now I see why shipping is so expensive but compared to having to pay for multiple cycles and flying out then yea I guess that's cheaper option.

 

It will be different for your next child. I'm not sure how much easier though. I explain our family structure to him and I've told him about his donor but he doesn't have any questions yet. He hasn't started school yet so no one else other than family really talks about it. He just hasn't gotten to the point where he questions it yet. I'm kind of wondering when he will just so I can start figuring out exactly how to handle it with him.

 

Have you started working towards your next cycle?


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#138 of 250 Old 03-18-2014, 09:10 AM
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preschottchels, I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm crossing my fingers for your next cycle. Do you do anything special to prep yourself for a cycle? Herbs or anything?

 

Readergirl1925, I did that before my son was born. It may be feel like I was actually working towards something. Made me very hopeful. For this next child, I have only gathered cloth diapering supplies mainly because I want to be able to do that from the start which I couldn't with my son and because I saved a few things already. I feel more set and even more hopeful this time around but I'm sure I'll sneak in some more things as I get closer to trying.

 

AFM, I got my blood test and ultrasound results on Friday. The theory that I'm going with is that my viatmin D levels are involved with me having an odd string of periods. Its kind of involved with insulin resistance but I have an appointment to get a second opinion this week. Here's hoping that with supplements I can get myself ready in a few months.


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#139 of 250 Old 03-18-2014, 01:13 PM
 
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Oh wow. How do you like it out there?

Now I see why shipping is so expensive but compared to having to pay for multiple cycles and flying out then yea I guess that's cheaper option.

 

It will be different for your next child. I'm not sure how much easier though. I explain our family structure to him and I've told him about his donor but he doesn't have any questions yet. He hasn't started school yet so no one else other than family really talks about it. He just hasn't gotten to the point where he questions it yet. I'm kind of wondering when he will just so I can start figuring out exactly how to handle it with him.

 

Have you started working towards your next cycle?

 

I like it out here because of the fresh air, lots of sunshine, nature, and lifestyle is simple. People are down-to-earth. However, I don't have family here, so I need to make a lot of effort to make friends. I'm quite introverted so it's been a challenge. My family has been pushing for me to move back to their city. Lots more family there but city living is stressful. 

 

I wonder how much being donor conceived matters to a child if the parent has been open about it from the beginning. I can understand if they have issues because the parent didn't tell them. Is your son's donor open ID or anonymous?

 

I just had my first ultrasound for this cycle yesterday on CD 10. I have a dominant follicle this time so there's no need for Clomid, which I'm happy about. Ultrasound again on CD 13 just to make sure the follicle is growing, but dr doesn't rule out that I can get a + opk on Thursday.  I'm a bit wary of OPKs though. Did you chart your cycles prior to IUI?


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#140 of 250 Old 03-18-2014, 01:14 PM
 
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AFM, I got my blood test and ultrasound results on Friday. The theory that I'm going with is that my viatmin D levels are involved with me having an odd string of periods. Its kind of involved with insulin resistance but I have an appointment to get a second opinion this week. Here's hoping that with supplements I can get myself ready in a few months.

 

What are your periods like?


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#141 of 250 Old 03-20-2014, 05:58 PM
 
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CD 13 for me on an unmedicated cycle, and the second ultrasound shows a dominant follicle. Dr says I should get a positive opk in 2-3 days. I'm really anxious about missing the surge (I never get dark lines on opk), so he suggested doing ultrasound every day. I'm so relieved. 

 

I also visited the Fairfax forum and found a same sex couple who are pregnant with my sperm donor! I was really happy to know 1. that his sperm works, and 2. that any potential child from this donor would have siblings out there. 

 

How's everyone doing??


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#142 of 250 Old 03-20-2014, 07:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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girlspn that's cool that you found a family that's using your donor. Do you know about the donor sibling registry? It's an online community where people go to find each other or their child's other sibs. I would totally do that if I was using a sperm bank donor. 

 

It's CD 7 here today and I'm over my pity party and sort of begrudgingly planning for the next round of donations lol I think I'll start on Sunday, CD 10. I usually take Maca, though I ran out and finances are tight... Also started researching what essential oils help w/fertility so I used a couple of those last time and will probably start again (Frankinsense and cypress).  I have an appt Monday w/my new PCP so I'm sort of interested to see what she has to say about any fertility testing...


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#143 of 250 Old 03-20-2014, 08:11 PM
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I like it out here because of the fresh air, lots of sunshine, nature, and lifestyle is simple. People are down-to-earth. However, I don't have family here, so I need to make a lot of effort to make friends. I'm quite introverted so it's been a challenge. My family has been pushing for me to move back to their city. Lots more family there but city living is stressful. 

 

I wonder how much being donor conceived matters to a child if the parent has been open about it from the beginning. I can understand if they have issues because the parent didn't tell them. Is your son's donor open ID or anonymous?

 

I just had my first ultrasound for this cycle yesterday on CD 10. I have a dominant follicle this time so there's no need for Clomid, which I'm happy about. Ultrasound again on CD 13 just to make sure the follicle is growing, but dr doesn't rule out that I can get a + opk on Thursday.  I'm a bit wary of OPKs though. Did you chart your cycles prior to IUI?

 

Hi.

 

I asked because I'm tempted to move my son to Hawaii. Not at all related or close to you but I do wonder about how life would change if I changed our surroundings. I'm an introvert as well and I have second thoughts about too much change and having to get out more but anyway that's not for right now anyway. I just think I'd do better in a slower pace with more water. I definitely wouldn't move back to a city either.

 

I did a lot of reading about how donor siblings feel and the majority of them are better adjusted if the parents are honest from the start. It doesn't do away with questions and the desire to know but it does make it easier on them than if you spring it on them when they're older. My son's donor is an ID options donor but even if he doesn't want contact, we'll at least get all his current contact information including his name so it would be a starting point.

 

So glad you don't need clomid this time around. I imagine its nice not to have to do anything extra. Are you going to do both OPks and ultrasound? I did charting and loved it. I was attempting to do it this time but no go. Besides my current issues, my son doesn't sleep in his bed very long so he'll come into mine and wake me up then want to cuddle or move so close to me at night that I always fear I wont have a good enough temp result. Does your little sleep with you? I've been working on my son in his own bed but its not going too well.

 

Is this your first donor sibling find?

 

Prescottchels, have you said how many donations you do per cycle? I don't know if I asked you that. Though I've never used a ND, that's one of the main reason I would go for it. The ability to try multiple times per cycle.

 

AFM and my periods, I met with a new PCP and loved her. She thinks like I do that my vitamin D is influencing everything. I'm to the point of having cycles that have gone from 31/30 days down to 24 with an actual period of 1-2 days every month. Before I even mentioned it, she said that with my cycle and what I told her, I'm probably not ovulating and then I mentioned not being able to get a good positive OPK. It made sense to her. So unlike with the doctor I saw not too long ago, I feel like I understand a little better what I'm dealing with. I'm on prescription strength vitamin D to get my levels up quickly and then hopefully that will get me back to ovulating. If not, I'm definitely screwed and will have to resort to meds for the next kiddo which isn't the problem, the meds. Its the not ovulating that is.

 

Follow up in 6-8 weeks. There's not much I can do as far as another child goes right now. I wasn't going to attempt anything till June/July but still its frustrating to go from very regular to totally confused.


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#144 of 250 Old 03-20-2014, 08:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Last cycle we did 3. Insems on Day 9, Day 11, pos OPK Day 12, insem Day 13. So technically we had good timing/coverage, but for whatever reason it didn't work. Aiming for something similar this time too I guess....  My BFF who's super intuitive thinks I need more but we haven't talked about when she thinks it might be beneficial. It's so tricky because really your body can shoot an egg out any ol' fricken time it wants/thinks is good especially if it's been a long while since you last DTD. It's this crazy biological imperative that say we must create new life now! There's been studies on it and the instance that comes to mind most readily is when an army guy comes home from a long tour away and the woman gets pregnant even if it's not the "right" time in her cycle cuz her body senses it may be another looooooong time before the opportunity arises again. 
 

esg I would freak out if my cycles were that wacko! Yikes! Here's to the Vit D working it's magic!


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#145 of 250 Old 03-21-2014, 10:57 AM
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Prescottchels, maybe try another day after the positive opk? I think what you do already is in good timing but I would add another day afterward if your donor is okay with that.

 

Yeah, I'm freaked out but I'm going to do the vitamin D and research my fertilitea for side effects or reactions with my multi and just get those going.


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#146 of 250 Old 03-22-2014, 04:32 AM
 
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The island I live on is similar to Hawaii, but much much smaller. In fact, people from here who live island life end up in Hawaii eventually. Do you have family in Hawaii? Right now as a single mom, I'm struggling a bit with having no family around. 

 

I only found one same-sex couple using the same donor I'm using, and they got pregnant this past November.  He's Sri Lankan so I can understand why not many. Still it was really exciting. Have you found any of your son's donor siblings?

 

I am so happy to not need Clomid this cycle... just because it means it's a normal cycle and my body is ready. I've been using OPKs since CD 10, ultrasound on CD 10, 13, 14.. finally got a positive tonight at CD 14! OPKs drive me crazy because I'm not sure how dark is positive. I use them together with the Clear Blue digital, and sometimes when the CB digital gives a smiley face, the regular ones would be considered negative. Anyway, going with the CB result, and IUI is scheduled for tomorrow morning. My dr doesn't think doing more than one IUI helps. 

 

I'm temping this cycle as well, just to see. My dd sleeps with me and I do wake up a few times at night. Once I've slept more than 3 straight hours I take my temperature. So far the temps don't vary that much.. I hope I'll see the thermal shift in a day or two. 

 

How do you know that vitamin D is the main issue for you?

 

 

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by esg View Post
 

 

Hi.

 

I asked because I'm tempted to move my son to Hawaii. Not at all related or close to you but I do wonder about how life would change if I changed our surroundings. I'm an introvert as well and I have second thoughts about too much change and having to get out more but anyway that's not for right now anyway. I just think I'd do better in a slower pace with more water. I definitely wouldn't move back to a city either.

 

I did a lot of reading about how donor siblings feel and the majority of them are better adjusted if the parents are honest from the start. It doesn't do away with questions and the desire to know but it does make it easier on them than if you spring it on them when they're older. My son's donor is an ID options donor but even if he doesn't want contact, we'll at least get all his current contact information including his name so it would be a starting point.

 

So glad you don't need clomid this time around. I imagine its nice not to have to do anything extra. Are you going to do both OPks and ultrasound? I did charting and loved it. I was attempting to do it this time but no go. Besides my current issues, my son doesn't sleep in his bed very long so he'll come into mine and wake me up then want to cuddle or move so close to me at night that I always fear I wont have a good enough temp result. Does your little sleep with you? I've been working on my son in his own bed but its not going too well.

 

Is this your first donor sibling find?

 

Prescottchels, have you said how many donations you do per cycle? I don't know if I asked you that. Though I've never used a ND, that's one of the main reason I would go for it. The ability to try multiple times per cycle.

 

AFM and my periods, I met with a new PCP and loved her. She thinks like I do that my vitamin D is influencing everything. I'm to the point of having cycles that have gone from 31/30 days down to 24 with an actual period of 1-2 days every month. Before I even mentioned it, she said that with my cycle and what I told her, I'm probably not ovulating and then I mentioned not being able to get a good positive OPK. It made sense to her. So unlike with the doctor I saw not too long ago, I feel like I understand a little better what I'm dealing with. I'm on prescription strength vitamin D to get my levels up quickly and then hopefully that will get me back to ovulating. If not, I'm definitely screwed and will have to resort to meds for the next kiddo which isn't the problem, the meds. Its the not ovulating that is.

 

Follow up in 6-8 weeks. There's not much I can do as far as another child goes right now. I wasn't going to attempt anything till June/July but still its frustrating to go from very regular to totally confused.


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#147 of 250 Old 03-22-2014, 04:36 AM
 
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Last cycle we did 3. Insems on Day 9, Day 11, pos OPK Day 12, insem Day 13. So technically we had good timing/coverage, but for whatever reason it didn't work. Aiming for something similar this time too I guess....  My BFF who's super intuitive thinks I need more but we haven't talked about when she thinks it might be beneficial. It's so tricky because really your body can shoot an egg out any ol' fricken time it wants/thinks is good especially if it's been a long while since you last DTD. It's this crazy biological imperative that say we must create new life now! There's been studies on it and the instance that comes to mind most readily is when an army guy comes home from a long tour away and the woman gets pregnant even if it's not the "right" time in her cycle cuz her body senses it may be another looooooong time before the opportunity arises again. 
 

 

Lol, I always hoped for this scenario back when I was married, but nope. Had to plan and pinpoint it down to the day. Whenever people tell me, 'oh, it'll happen, everyone gets pregnant eventually' I just laugh. 


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#148 of 250 Old 03-22-2014, 04:37 AM
 
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prescottchels, have you started opk and inseminations yet?


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Yeah people still tell me not to worry that I still have plenty of time (cuz I'm not 40 yet) which makes me want to scream cuz they don't know how many opportunities my body has had to get pregnant and it still hasn't! I wish the random pregnancy scenario had happened for me too! 
I'll start opk's and insems tomorrow.


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#150 of 250 Old 03-22-2014, 01:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by girlspn View Post
 

 

I don't have family in Hawaii. We're all Texans but my mother isn't interested in staying much longer so a move isn't out of the question. Its the nerves that stops me. Well that and money.

It got a little harder when my family moved a half hour away so I bet its even harder for you and will be for me too. I don't know what I would do in Hawaii without them but I really want to go.

 

It is very exciting to find half sibs. Have they found out what they're having? Are you planning to keep in touch? I have been in contact with four families. I just started a Facebook group this week for all of us. There doesn't seem to be many of us even from the bank's numbers at 5-10. They found you in the family forum? There is a post on babycenter with people posting their donor numbers and that's how I was found by most of the families. If you want the link, I can send it to you. Just let me know.

 

Its so awesome that you're not having to use anything this cycle. I'm planning to use a fertility monitor because I have the same issue with OPKs not. They don't seem to work for me. I'm excited for your IUI. It sounds like you're ready too with not having to use anything extra. Fingers crossed for you. I'm never really sure I sleep three hours without waking up :/ but I have to get back to it so I can have multiple sources to go by (OPK, monitor, temps).

 

We don't know if that's my problem for sure but with vitamin D having a hand in most of the body's functions and with my D levels being so low, we're assuming that that may be the cause. I wont know for another 8 weeks if that's doing it or not. I really hope it is so I can be back on track or else I will for sure have to see my RE again for more than just the IUI. I'm going to start with the OPKs and stuff this week.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by prescottchels View Post
 

Yeah people still tell me not to worry that I still have plenty of time (cuz I'm not 40 yet) which makes me want to scream cuz they don't know how many opportunities my body has had to get pregnant and it still hasn't! I wish the random pregnancy scenario had happened for me too! 
I'll start opk's and insems tomorrow.

 

I hate it when people say anything about having time left. 

 

Prescottchels, I really think that second insem after the OPK could work.


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