s/o how far apart do you live from your ex? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 8 Old 10-19-2013, 01:00 PM - Thread Starter
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Curious how far others live from their ex's and how involved, uninvolved ex is with the kids?


Me: I live 1 mile from the ex. Did that mainly to keep things as the same as possible for the kids. Ex has a strange schedule and really unpredictable with the kids and his parenting time.


Pros: save on gas, easy for both of us to be involved with the kids functions etc, couldn't move back closer to family so being close to ex is good in emergencies


Con's: ex likes to show up spontaneously. When I was dating someone and he found out, he drove past my house to see if my boyfriend was here (while kids were with him)


I really like my town and the neighborhood, but sometimes feel like a 5-10 mile distance may have been better for me. 

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#2 of 8 Old 10-19-2013, 04:28 PM
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I am a ten minute drive away. He sees them 11 out of 14 days for 3 to 7 hours depending on the day. I am hoping the hours will be consolidated into fewer days post mediation.
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#3 of 8 Old 10-19-2013, 05:26 PM
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My ex moved about 40 minutes away, to be closer to where he goes to school. I stayed (for now) in the apartment we got to be close to his job at the time. Go figure. He comes to see our daughter here for a few hours on his day off (with me here). Today we all went to the children's museum. I work 4 days a week and he comes over and watches her for 2 hours in the morning until my mom gets here. Basically he just gets in bed and they cosleep, she rarely wakes up while he's here. He refuses to get a car seat and has no interest in taking her alone or having her at his place. I'm fine with that. She'll be 2 next week.

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#4 of 8 Old 10-19-2013, 06:30 PM
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Ex and his wife just rented a house around the corner from me.  I'm totally ok with it.  For various reasons, ds is not really allowed to over there  more than the court ordered minimum, but his step-brother/bff is allowed to come over pretty much as often as he wants to.  He just rides his bike over.


Right now, one of ds's little brothers is in the hospital, so I have the other half-brother and three of the four step-siblings at my house overnight.  I'm not close or even really friendly with my ex, but his wife is my friend and her kids are like nieces and nephews to me.

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#5 of 8 Old 10-19-2013, 06:41 PM
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3.5 hours away, until he PCSs at which time it will be farther. He's pretty uninvolved so I'm good with it. 

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#6 of 8 Old 10-19-2013, 07:13 PM
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3 1/3 hours by car, but since he doesn't have a car, it's 6 hours on bus/train for his supervised visitations every 1 1/2- 2 months.  He's not very involved except when it fits his needs, so I'm fine with that, in fact, I'd prefer more distance between us.

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#7 of 8 Old 10-20-2013, 09:24 AM
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My ex lived in the house next door for more than 6 years, just moved almost 20 miles away last month (45 min with no traffic, usually WAY longer than that).


It was very good for the kids when he was right there and I didn't have to be so far away from them. He started dating his now-fiancee about 2.5 yrs ago and then he'd spend any time he didn't have the kids up at her house (in the city he just moved to) He's got the kids about 30% now, down from 40% that he used to have them before he started dating her. Next year it will have to be even less because my Oldest will be in HS full time (they do part-time independent study now so we only do overnights when they won't have class the next day).


I wish he would have stayed closer for the boys' sake. I hate that he's chosen to move so far, giving up time with them and making me drive 75 miles a week to go pick them up from visits.

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#8 of 8 Old 10-21-2013, 02:04 PM
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My XH lives approx. 8-10,000 miles away in another country.  Ds and I moved back to the US (from the Netherlands - XH is a Dutch national) when ds was 18 months.


Since returning the US, XH has come to visit twice (at 2.5 & 5 years old) and we flew out there when ds was 7-8 years old.  XH calls randomly (when the guilt or, most often, his wife reminds him) every few months.  I'm hoping that when ds is in high school, ds will go out there to spend a summer (or even a school year) with his dad and dad's family (wife, step-daughter and son).  

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